What life is available to you if you stop spending so much energy trying to "correct" yourself and use that energy to support yourself by following the thread of YOU?
If you love this conversation and want to dream into enjoying your vision in 2023 with me, sign up for my upcoming free workshop- The Help Me See Visioning Workshop
Do you identify as an intentional photographic artist? Here is the waitlist for my upcoming course- Your Bigger Picture, For Intentional Photographic Artists
More from Bianca:
www.biancaleamorra.com
Monthly Membership: Nostalgia, Now.
IG:
@biancaleamorra
https://www.instagram.com/biancaleamorra/
@helpmesee_podcast
https://www.instagram.com/helpmesee_podcast/
What life is available to you if you stop spending so much energy trying to "correct" yourself and use that energy to support yourself by following the thread of YOU?
If you love this conversation and want to dream into enjoying your vision in 2023 with me, sign up for my upcoming free workshop- The Help Me See Visioning Workshop
Do you identify as an intentional photographic artist? Here is the waitlist for my upcoming course- Your Bigger Picture, For Intentional Photographic Artists
More from Bianca:
www.biancaleamorra.com
Monthly Membership: Nostalgia, Now.
IG:
@biancaleamorra
https://www.instagram.com/biancaleamorra/
@helpmesee_podcast
https://www.instagram.com/helpmesee_podcast/
0:00
what can happen when we stop making
0:02
ourselves wrong
0:04
for not fitting into certain boxes like
0:08
when the answer to a question is neither
0:12
or both
0:14
why is it that we can feel instantly
0:17
like insecure like oh am I not being
0:20
able to select am I not being decisive
0:22
enough uh I don't feel strongly either
0:26
way what does that mean about me
0:28
what would happen if we could witness
0:31
ourselves in those moments through a
0:34
lens of neutrality through a lens of wow
0:37
it's really interesting that
0:39
I don't resonate with any of the options
0:42
any of the roots any of the choices
0:46
presented to me what does that mean
0:50
for me I found
0:53
that that means
0:55
not that I'm right or wrong or that
0:57
they're right or wrong or they and you
1:00
know whether it's people or an industry
1:02
or
1:03
whatever it's that I'm having a
1:06
completely different conversation
1:09
and that's okay
1:11
help me see as a podcast that redefines
1:15
the word Vision through vulnerable and
1:19
real conversations
1:21
my own private introspective ramblings
1:24
about the things that I think about in
1:27
the wee hours of the morning
1:29
and my deep core belief that your
1:32
nothingness is your everything and all
1:35
you have to do is see
1:38
I'm Bianca Mora I'm your host I am an
1:42
educator a photographic artist and I
1:46
believe that your daily photo habit can
1:49
be the key to unlocking the ability to
1:52
be more present in your everyday life
1:55
and the deeper into your intention and
1:58
purpose
2:00
we're not about the small talk here
2:02
grab your coffee get cozy and let's talk
2:08
hello hello and welcome to an episode of
2:12
help me see that is two weeks Leahy what
2:15
the [ __ ] I've never gone this long
2:19
and not gonna lie it made me feel really
2:22
crappy to
2:25
quote unquote get behind on on the
2:28
posting of these episodes because I love
2:30
the space so much but I would be remiss
2:33
if I didn't address how important
2:36
it is to
2:40
honor your gut and
2:43
um
2:43
and honor that above
2:50
above a schedule or above
2:53
you know just anything else and you're
2:56
the only one that can make that decision
2:57
so
2:58
I was away
3:00
um working in Atlanta for two weeks and
3:03
I had intended to keep up with it
3:05
throughout that but it just got so crazy
3:08
and I'm also involved in a certification
3:12
course on neuro-linguistic programming
3:14
and the few times that I did have
3:18
um time after work I was in my classes
3:21
and
3:22
it was so much more important to me to
3:25
wait and not put out something that felt
3:28
like rushed or unintentional
3:30
so I did and
3:34
I'm happy I did but I also I'm not going
3:37
to lie and said it felt good because it
3:39
didn't feel really anxious and twirly
3:43
and I didn't love it but
3:47
I'm still glad that I didn't because I
3:49
have much to say from
3:52
from those two weeks that I have not
3:55
been checking in and today's episode
3:57
is really about
4:00
following the constellation of you so
4:05
uh at the end of this episode here I'm
4:07
gonna tag on
4:09
a Facebook live recording I did in my
4:11
group membership Nostalgia now
4:14
ah
4:16
um
4:19
so it's alive I did in that private
4:21
Facebook group that sometimes I'll go
4:23
into randomly and just share what's on
4:25
top of my heart and the last chair felt
4:29
um
4:30
felt really important and it felt like
4:31
something that I want to expand on here
4:33
and now before I even insert that that
4:37
clip
4:38
um
4:39
where shall I start so I'll start with
4:42
the fact that
4:43
in that membership in Nostalgia now
4:49
it's
4:51
one of my absolute favorite things to do
4:55
at all like it's the one time of the
4:57
month that I'm like giddy for
4:59
um because we meet once a month
5:00
[Music]
5:02
and in creating that membership it was
5:05
really really difficult for me to
5:09
for a long time to feel at peace with
5:13
the structure of it because it felt so
5:18
um like Bare Bones to me like there's
5:22
one meeting every month and I provide
5:25
resources
5:27
um
5:27
in the student portal but it's super
5:31
like low maintenance like it's super
5:35
simple
5:36
and that can be confronting because I
5:40
think as creators and as just as people
5:42
in general it can be easy to want to
5:45
hide behind a lot of things like oh here
5:49
there's this and there's this and
5:50
there's this and there's this
5:52
but for me the structure of this
5:55
membership has been
5:57
um
6:00
really important because I want it to be
6:03
something that feels like real life that
6:05
feels actually doable that does not
6:07
overwhelm I'm someone that gets very
6:09
easily overwhelmed and if you give me
6:11
information I'm gonna keep taking it and
6:13
taking it and taking it and and then I
6:15
get stuck in the integration phase and I
6:17
get so overwhelmed because I love all
6:19
the information and I love learning but
6:21
then my brain kind of shorts out and I
6:24
don't want this space to be that I want
6:26
the space to feel like a really like
6:28
healthy nourishing uh expansive and open
6:32
space
6:34
um so I'm very selective over if I add
6:38
more to the space
6:41
um I don't even give assignments in the
6:43
space like that's why each month the
6:45
lens is an intention because I want it
6:48
to just be something that you feel that
6:50
you can put in the back of your mind and
6:52
go forth and take it where you want to
6:54
or leave it where you don't and um so
6:57
anyway
6:59
that was the background so in and of
7:01
itself
7:04
this membership has been an opportunity
7:06
for me to follow my gut and to
7:11
um feel my way through
7:14
going first and that's this month's
7:17
intention is I must go first and it's
7:19
you know
7:20
I must do the thing that feels right to
7:24
me and only me even if I haven't seen it
7:26
done elsewhere because oftentimes
7:29
even though there's a million different
7:30
variations of so many different things
7:32
it's not
7:35
the origin is not you so it is not
7:37
completely you so where are the big and
7:40
small parts of our lives where we can
7:43
really customize and personalize uh
7:48
us
7:49
and it doesn't have to just be a uh
7:54
like an offering a grand program that
7:57
you created it could be when you're at a
7:59
restaurant and you just really want to
8:01
make a substitution or you're at a cafe
8:04
and you want to make your own coffee
8:05
flavor because that's what you're
8:07
feeling you know where are those little
8:09
invitations throughout our day and in
8:10
our lives where we can
8:14
make our own way
8:17
what can happen when we stop making
8:20
ourselves wrong
8:22
for not fitting into certain boxes like
8:26
when the answer to a question is neither
8:30
or both
8:32
why is it that we can feel instantly
8:34
like insecure like oh am I not being
8:38
able to select am I not being decisive
8:40
enough uh I don't feel strongly either
8:43
way what does that mean about me
8:46
what would happen if we could witness
8:49
ourselves in those moments through a
8:52
lens of neutrality through a lens of wow
8:55
it's really interesting that
8:57
I don't resonate with any of the options
9:00
any of the roots any of the choices
9:04
presented to me what does that mean
9:08
for me I found
9:11
that that means
9:13
not that I'm right or wrong or that
9:15
they're right or wrong or they and then
9:18
you know whether it's people or an
9:19
industry or whatever it's that I'm
9:23
having a completely different
9:24
conversation
9:27
and that's okay
9:30
you know it's apples and oranges
9:34
um
9:36
so when I think about this I think about
9:39
you know
9:41
my
9:43
the conversation I want to be having
9:45
about photography
9:47
is not image quality and it's not about
9:52
getting more clients and it's not about
9:55
uh
9:57
I don't even love talking about you know
10:00
technical
10:01
skills which I certainly will of course
10:06
but to me the most impactful
10:10
teaching the most impactful coaching the
10:13
most important thing I can talk about
10:16
is what I feel to be
10:18
the Crux of what this medium has to
10:22
offer
10:23
a level of conscious awareness a level
10:26
of self-discovery a level of
10:31
presence for it its ability to draw you
10:34
deeper into life
10:37
everything else feels so
10:40
much easier and
10:44
um like accessories almost to that
10:46
conversation for me
10:49
and that doesn't make me more right or
10:51
less right than anyone else that's just
10:54
the conversation that I want to be
10:55
having and the only way that I was able
10:58
to decipher that and find that knowing
11:01
myself was trusting my constellation so
11:05
constellation what is that constellation
11:08
in terms of you know
11:10
Stars whatever I looked at the
11:13
definition because I was curious like
11:14
what does it actually Define to us a
11:16
group or cluster of related things
11:19
um
11:20
and their example was no two patients
11:22
ever show exactly the same constellation
11:25
of symptoms
11:26
I just love this word constellation
11:29
because inherently it gives you the
11:31
visual of like non-linear like it
11:34
doesn't have to be a perfect whatever it
11:37
can be when you think about a
11:38
constellation of stars oftentimes you're
11:40
like where the [ __ ] am I looking what is
11:42
this like that's a Dipper what is that
11:44
supposed to be it's like hard to
11:46
decipher but that's us like
11:50
I
11:51
love dance
11:54
so much I love dance what is it about
11:56
dance I love a certain type of painting
11:59
I love uh
12:02
conversations around social norms and uh
12:05
I get really pissed off at authoritative
12:08
figures and the politics of the
12:11
corporate world and how [ __ ] it is
12:14
and you know like my own unique recipe
12:17
of things that inspire me and pissed me
12:20
off and interest me and draw me in and
12:23
make me cry that is my own constellation
12:26
of me and instead of feeling like I need
12:30
to be fixed or I'm not right for feeling
12:33
a certain way
12:36
when I stopped putting so much energy
12:38
into
12:39
trying to fit into something else or
12:42
diagnose myself and I start just
12:44
witnessing through a lens of neutrality
12:46
and honoring my consolation honoring my
12:49
instincts and my
12:51
um
12:52
innate uh
12:55
interests
12:57
then everything opens up like
13:01
neuro-linguistic programming the
13:02
certification I'm in like I don't even
13:05
know this was a thing a year ago I never
13:08
even knew what it was I still probably
13:09
couldn't give you a sound definition and
13:12
I'm like a month into the course
13:14
two months into the court I don't even
13:16
know
13:17
um but I followed a thread I followed a
13:19
thread of I had a I have she it's the
13:24
same person a beautiful amazing coach
13:29
business coach Haley Carr and I had felt
13:33
so deeply I could cry talking about it
13:37
supported and seen and I've never felt
13:42
that way in a space before in my whole
13:44
life even with like family I I just felt
13:48
so good in her space
13:50
what is that about what is that
13:52
and it turns out she has a background in
13:56
neuro-linguistic programming and I was
13:58
like I don't know what the [ __ ] that is
13:59
but I must learn more because I the
14:03
feeling that I felt in that space I want
14:05
to
14:06
create and integrate into the spaces
14:10
that I offer you and whoever joins uh so
14:15
I'm following that thread and who knows
14:17
if it you know how directly or
14:19
indirectly it will influence my worlds
14:22
and my Creations but it was a really
14:25
important decision for me to invest in
14:28
something that didn't have a clear-cut
14:29
results or reason why I was doing it
14:34
and I felt really [ __ ] good
14:40
um
14:43
okay
14:45
I just took a breath and now I'm
14:46
wondering where I am in this
14:47
conversation so
14:51
honoring the constellation of yourself
14:52
yes what happens when
14:56
so I want you to take a moment before I
15:01
I enter this um my little chat that I
15:04
did in my Instagram in my Facebook live
15:06
for my membership
15:09
um
15:09
can you think about
15:13
an area in your life
15:15
where you feel
15:17
drained where you feel like you're
15:19
trying to fit yourself into something
15:23
and you don't like any of the option and
15:25
it just feels constrictive what is it
15:29
like it could be something in your work
15:33
is it like is there an industry
15:35
quote-unquote standard that you're
15:37
trying to meet that just you don't even
15:40
have energy behind it because you don't
15:42
care to meet it you don't it feels
15:44
irrelevant to you but for some reason
15:46
other people think it's important
15:48
isn't that just what a standard is it's
15:50
just like most people do it this way
15:53
I don't know I hate that word
15:55
um
15:56
or is it like I think about for me
15:59
um in the kitchen sometimes like meal
16:02
making meals and feeding my family can
16:05
feel so like oh my God but then when I
16:09
open myself up to reinterpret like what
16:12
a meal could be and maybe it's just like
16:14
a bunch of dips and a bunch of different
16:16
things to dip in those dips that excites
16:19
me so why can't it be like that you know
16:21
okay Ken
16:23
um so what areas of your life do you
16:25
feel like you are
16:27
you have opportunities to witness
16:30
yourself
16:32
neutrally be like hmm this doesn't work
16:35
for me how about I try it this way
16:39
um a quick aside before I just thought
16:41
about this example and it's really
16:43
really important uh so in the last two
16:46
years I discovered that I am a HSP a
16:49
highly sensitive person and through that
16:51
Discovery
16:52
um it's not just like oh she's so
16:55
sensitive and she'll cry and blah blah
16:57
blah it's like a real real thing that
17:01
goes real real deep and it also involves
17:04
like a sensitive nervous system and it
17:05
just explains so much of my life to me
17:09
um
17:10
it's kind of maddening how powerful
17:13
being able to put your finger on
17:14
something can be uh because I like to
17:17
think that I don't need that type of
17:19
validation but I'm human and I do
17:22
uh so
17:24
part of that here's an example is that
17:28
certain spaces like whether it's the
17:30
lighting or the noise level or the
17:33
activity can trigger me to feel anxiety
17:35
so I know this now I know this because
17:39
I've read about it okay so I was at
17:42
lunch with my friends and I started
17:45
feeling anxiety so what would happen
17:47
before understanding more about my
17:49
nervous system is that I would think to
17:51
myself
17:52
what the [ __ ] is wrong with you you're
17:54
with one of your best friends like you
17:56
don't you're obviously very comfortable
17:57
with this person this is a lovely
17:59
afternoon the weather is great the
18:00
food's delicious why are you feeling
18:02
like this and then I'm in that like
18:04
attacking of myself I start to panic and
18:08
I can't breathe right and it just starts
18:09
to build and I would like have an
18:11
anxiety attack
18:12
but now this most recent time where I
18:15
started to feel that
18:17
I was like oh
18:19
this is this noise is uncomfortable for
18:21
me this is my nervous system this makes
18:24
sense that I'm feeling like this it
18:26
quote-unquote makes sense now that I
18:28
know this like
18:29
obscure fact about my nervous system
18:32
that someone else told me
18:34
how ridiculous anyway
18:37
um so then now I can be like oh okay I
18:40
have these earplugs that I bought
18:42
um that help dull noise that could help
18:44
or hey maybe we don't hang out for
18:47
dessert here maybe we take it to go and
18:49
then we can like walk outside and I'm
18:52
able to keep myself
18:54
home and not escalate in that way
18:56
because I'm just like very uncharged
18:59
about it like oh this doesn't feel good
19:01
how can I change my environment to
19:03
better suit me
19:07
it's maddening and empowering at the
19:09
same time
19:11
anyway
19:12
um I hope that that helps I hope that
19:16
that kind of sparked something for you
19:18
that
19:21
feels freeing and opening
19:24
um I am now going to insert that little
19:28
live I did that kind of drilled into
19:30
this a little deeper in another area
19:33
um and and that's it before I head out
19:36
and and drop that part of the podcast
19:39
here I want to mention that in true me
19:42
form
19:43
I am we're in the end of February and I
19:47
am about to schedule my visioning
19:51
workshop
19:52
that was meant to be a New Year's
19:54
visioning Workshop but I actually feel
19:57
like it works out better because how
19:58
many of us have set an intention and
20:01
already feel like we're flopping and
20:03
overwhelmed and tired and Haggard right
20:05
so who says we can't have a new Fresh
20:08
Start on the year
20:10
um in end of February early March like
20:14
let's let's do that like why are we
20:16
adhering to this trivial standard of a
20:19
fresh new year time is all an illusion
20:22
anyway so uh if you're interested if
20:25
you're interested in joining me for just
20:28
coming together and
20:30
stepping back from our lives and being
20:32
able to look at it with a intentional
20:35
lens
20:36
uh click the link in my show notes and I
20:39
will send you the link to our Zoom for
20:41
where we will get together and just chat
20:44
and talk about the things and come up
20:47
with an energizing vision for our new
20:52
year
20:53
okay that's it for now enjoy the rest of
20:56
the show and I will see you next week
21:00
hello hello good morning I hope this
21:04
broadcast goes well because I'm outside
21:06
of the studio that I'm art directing at
21:09
and sometimes it it
21:13
cancels out during the live but
21:15
hopefully we're good I wanted to come on
21:17
and say hello and just share what's been
21:20
on my heart I know this month's
21:22
intention can be a little bit
21:26
spicy and
21:28
confronting I must go first uh
21:34
and really what this has brought out of
21:37
me is this reminder of
21:40
getting out of your head and into your
21:43
power
21:44
I don't know about you but I am someone
21:46
who
21:48
loves to spend time in my head
21:51
my happy place is you know somewhere
21:54
either by water or in my dark basement
21:57
and just thinking and reading and
22:00
learning
22:02
and that's wonderful
22:05
but the movement and the the experiences
22:10
and the confidence and the change
22:13
the change for what we want happens when
22:18
we are in the world
22:21
acting in
22:23
in alignment with
22:26
ourselves and we can't think our way
22:30
through that we can't
22:34
know something to be true unless we've
22:36
experienced it
22:38
fully
22:41
something an example that comes to mind
22:43
recently is um
22:45
I had a meeting at my son's school about
22:48
my son and
22:50
I have
22:52
never read a parenting book I don't
22:57
really do much research on you know
23:01
Milestones or you know this or that as
23:04
they grow I just have had such an
23:07
aversion to that
23:09
I don't want to I mean there have been a
23:12
few things here in there that I've
23:14
looked up but at the same time I'm I
23:16
don't know and I feel good about it in
23:18
myself but there's this invisible layer
23:20
of like when I hear other people talking
23:23
about
23:24
what they should and should not be doing
23:26
by this age or oh I've read and insert
23:30
you know just a random thought
23:32
I start feeling like it's a feeling
23:34
responsible for me to have not
23:37
done that to have not done my research
23:40
on XYZ so anyway PS
23:45
so the scenario here I'm pulling back is
23:47
you're going through something with your
23:49
intuition and your gut but then
23:52
um along the way you start feeling like
23:55
Whispers of things that make you feel
23:57
insecure like am I wrong for doing that
24:00
so I'm in this meeting with
24:03
um
24:04
with my son's teacher and some some
24:07
other extra support and we're talking
24:09
about him
24:11
and I find myself giving examples and
24:14
kind of coming up against and with it
24:16
wasn't all you know adversary but uh
24:20
just my I was very clear on what I
24:23
agreed with what they were talking about
24:24
and what I didn't and what was coming
24:27
out of my mouth was so much more uh
24:30
I just knew so much more than I thought
24:33
I knew and I was doing
24:35
so many things purposefully and
24:38
intentionally
24:40
um then I realized I even was and I
24:42
think that's a product of my intuition
24:44
and I actually left I thought I was
24:47
going to leave that meeting crying I
24:48
really did but I left that meeting
24:51
feeling so much better about myself as a
24:56
parent
24:57
um
24:58
and so just affirmed by what I was doing
25:00
and what I've been doing all along and I
25:02
feel like that type of confidence that
25:05
type of and now it's not that I'm going
25:07
to be immune to feeling like like a
25:09
little shrinky sometimes when I'm in
25:12
these conversations I'm you know there's
25:14
someone that practices something
25:15
different than me with their Parenthood
25:17
but
25:18
I have that layer of like lived
25:21
experience of like no like I know how
25:24
good I felt
25:26
about my choices and about my family and
25:28
about what I chose to do
25:30
in a situation where it really counted
25:33
and um and I'm gonna keep that with me
25:36
and that's like a metaphor for anything
25:38
else like with our of our work our
25:41
photography our you know anything how we
25:43
are in the world it's only with like
25:46
moving through can't go over it under it
25:50
you gotta go through it
25:51
um lived experiences uh that you can
25:56
kind of calibrate and acquire what you
25:58
need to acquire and also learn if you're
26:01
like hey I actually I've been going
26:03
about it this way
26:04
and now I feel like I need to try
26:06
something else like if I would have left
26:07
that meeting like crying or whatever and
26:10
been really upset maybe maybe that would
26:13
have meant I do actually want to pursue
26:15
looking into books or like I don't know
26:18
who knows the whole point is that
26:20
through experience and through like
26:22
exercising your truth and your power is
26:25
the only way that you can
26:28
gain momentum and gain that confidence
26:30
and gain that inner like peace uh that
26:34
so many of us kind of
26:36
aspire to
26:38
there's another example of how I've been
26:41
wanting to try out a session a type of
26:43
session something I wanted to do my
26:45
photo sessions and I romanticized it for
26:48
months like I was like oh this is gonna
26:51
be amazing and I finally did it and I
26:53
was like well that felt weird I don't
26:55
like it I spent months romanticizing
26:58
this
26:59
um and until I actually did it I didn't
27:01
realize that me
27:02
I don't think I like this
27:05
so this this theme this month of I must
27:08
go first
27:11
it really is because there is no other
27:13
way
27:15
if we want to get what we truly want to
27:18
be in this life I you you just
27:21
it's the thing and then you have to sit
27:22
with that feeling of
27:25
a good bad and different whatever it is
27:27
and then decide on where you want to
27:29
move from there
27:31
um
27:32
so I must go first get out of your head
27:34
and into your body into your power into
27:37
your life
27:39
um so that is what has been on top for
27:40
me
27:42
um
27:43
yeah that's it
27:45
uh I am going to wrap up and head into
27:48
into work now but if you have anything
27:51
to say any comments any questions any
27:54
anything throw them in the in the
27:56
comment box and I so look forward to
27:59
talking to you hi Erica
28:03
my sister's on the call I love you
28:07
my only sister that isn't blocked from
28:08
my social media
28:15
sometime you want to be who you want to
28:17
be in this life there are certain people
28:19
that you you love so much but you gotta
28:23
block them because you're just you just
28:25
got to so that you can move freely
28:27
anyway
28:29
notice to have my my other siblings I
28:31
just
28:33
it is what it is I can't be going on
28:35
live talking about my feelings and
28:36
having my older sister talking about
28:38
burritos and farting I just can't I just
28:41
can't I can't focus like that
28:44
anyway okay I hope you all have a
28:47
beautiful day love you guys