This conversation is about turning your tenderness into your greatest strength and helping others activate along the way.
Our guest Alissa Boyer is a Mentor for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) with a passion for helping fellow HSPs learn how to reduce overwhelm, manage their energy, and fully embrace who they are. She's the creator of several online programs including the Highly Sensitive & Soulful Membership and Sensitive & Soulful Self-Worth, host of a podcast called The Sensitive & Soulful Show, and a writer for the award-winning HSP blog, Highly Sensitive Refuge.
HSP (highly sensitive person) with sensory processing sensitivity have a temperamental or personality trait involving "an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system and a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social and emotional stimuli". -Wikipedia
More from Alissa:
Are you an artist looking to strengthen your vision & connection to your work? I'm currently working on a course for photographers on connecting to your innate vision & finding calm and trust in your ability to see in any circumstance. This will redefine your photographic practice, your confidence, your work, & ultimately lead to deeper fulfillment and the creative freedom that affirms the very purpose of why we create.
If you resonate with this I would LOVE to hear from you. Feel free to DM me with your thoughts/struggles/anything that comes up.
If you want to make sure you are in the know when the course & coaching is launched- join the waitlist here: UPCOMING COURSE WAITLIST
More from Bianca:
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I feel like a lot of highly sensitive people just go through these really crazy things in their lives, or really painful things in their lives because I think, I really feel like we're here to share and uplift others like we're, because we're such meaning makers, it's like we have these things happen to us, that we have this capacity to then turn around and help other people heal if we are open to believing that. And so it's kind of like it. It's just really interesting to me how so many of us have these stories that are painful, but then so many of us are now choosing to create beauty from that and help others because of our empathetic hearts. I think it's for a reason. I really, really do. Help me see is a podcast that redefines the word vision through vulnerable and real conversations. My own private introspective ramblings about the things that I think about in the We Hours of the morning. And my deep core belief that your nothingness is everything and all you have to do is see. I'm Bianca Mora, I'm your host. I am an educator photographic artist. And I believe that your daily photo habit can be the key to unlocking the ability to be more present in your everyday life and live deeper into your intention and purpose. We're not about the small talk here. Grab your coffee, get cozy, and let's talk. Hello, Hello and welcome to another episode of Help Me See Today on the show we have Alyssa Boyer. And Alyssa is basically the reason that I realized that I am something called an hsp, a highly sensitive person. If you haven't heard of it, maybe check it out because if you're listening to this podcast, odds are you have some feels <laugh> and it's a real world opener. So Alyssa is a mentor for highly sensitive people with a passion for helping fellow HSPs learn how to reduce overwhelm, manage their energy, and fully embrace who they are. She's the creator of several online programs, including the highly sensitive and soulful membership, the sensitive and soulful self worth and host of a podcast called The Sensitive and Soulful Show. She's a writer for the award-winning HSP blog, Highly sensitive refuge. So Alyssa and I chat a lot about what it means to have this tendency to have an increased awareness and sensitivity in business, in motherhood, in life, at home, in the world. And what's so interesting to me about this conversation is as I'm reflecting on it now, it's just thinking about this idea that why is it that we always default to assuming shame, assuming blame, assuming we're doing it wrong, because we're seeing the majority of people doing something else, even outside of HSPs in general, you don't have to have a diagnosis to trust yourself. You don't have to have aqu reason or something to point to validate yourself for doing things the way you fri wanna do it, right? I mean, don't get me wrong. When I found <laugh> out about being in H S P and I did research and I looked at the culmination of all the information that researchers have done and statistics and learned how things are linked in a really understood and was able to draw the line between many, many, many different aspects of my life and my personality and my tendencies, it's so helpful, It's endlessly helpful. But if you don't identify with this and you don't have a name for something that you do identify with, I just wanna invite you to assume trust in yourself. And if something doesn't feel right to you, that is the most valid, important reason there could ever be. So touch my spiel on that. I really, really love my conversation with Alyssa. She is a gorgeous soul doing such important work in the world, and this idea of using your most tender spot, your highest vulnerability and turning it into something that is your greatest gift and something so powerful that it can activate others and spread good in the world, that is what I'm all about. So sign me up for it all. If you wanna learn more about Alyssa, head to the show notes and you can find more about her there. I really hope that you enjoy this conversation. Before we get into the show, I need to ask, are you a photographic artist that is in this line of work to make meaning and to do work that you really believe in, but you feel kind of restless? You feel like you're at a point where you can't always consistently make the magic that you dream about creating? You know, have this large beautiful vision for how much power your work can have on others, but you seem to default in times of nervousness during a session or are having trouble unlearning some of the things that you learned how to do from professionals or schooling or whatever Google page result you ended up on. If this is you, head to the show notes and sign up for my wait list for my new coaching program and course coming out soon. It's called Your Bigger Picture. Your bigger picture is for visionary photographic artists who want to create with freedom, purpose, and intention. I am really, really excited to share behind the scenes of literally everything I do and I feel so passionately about it because not that I want you to do the same, but because I want you to understand that I believe so strongly in my work and I am known for my specific aesthetic and creative expression, and I do everything wrong, <laugh>, I do everything against what I have been told and it's taken me some years to understand really how what I thought was a weakness or a vulnerable spot was actually my greatest strength in my art. So if you want to learn more about this and tap into your superpower, sign up for the wait list. You can learn more OK with the show. Alyssa, hi. How are you today? I'm, I'm really excited to chat. I don't think I told you this before initially, but I am fairly certain that you are the reason why I even realized what HSP was like you or my introduction to it and it's just been a world opener for me. So I'm so excited to have you on the show and just share this portal to a whole universe cuz that's what I feel like it is a whole freaking universe with others because I do think that, although I know that we're not the majority, I think there's far more HSPs out there than kind of realized that they are. So, Alyssa, this is Alyssa Boyer, she's an HSP mentor and podcast programs, just all the things. Thank you so much for joining us. I can't wait to hear everything you have to share. Hi, yeah, thank you for having me on. And that's so cool to hear that I was probably your introduction to H S P highly sensitive person. That's amazing. And I find that a lot of times I am often people's introduction to it, which is really cool to hear. And I just love how you said it's a whole world and a, it's like a vortex and all of that. So true. And that's funny, when I started doing this work, I was like, I just wanna create my own little HS P world and what I would've wanted to have available to me when I first found out I was a highly sensitive person. That is what I try to create. That is always what I have in mind. So yeah, I'm excited to share with your audience all the things about being highly sensitive person, what it means. Happy to dive into anything here. But yeah, I'm excited to chat. I feel like I know it was my experience and the few people that I've felt so inclined to share this with and point them in your direction. I've had this common occurrence where when you first bring it up and you're like, Have you heard of hsp? It's a highly sensitive person. I think the initial reaction is, Oh yeah, that's totally probably me. <laugh>, yes. Ha. Yeah. So I dunno, it just sounds like I don't even know what the connotation is. And then you start reading a little bit and then it's like. Oh my gosh, your. Heart drops to your toes and you're like, Oh my gosh. I know that when I, after learning about it through you, and then I went to read Elaine Aaron's the highly sensitive person book <affirmative>, I was like, Has this woman stalked me my whole life? And I just never saw her? This is crazy. But really that is another reason why I'm love your work so much is that you have this incredible freakish ability to be able to articulate with such specificity. And I think that sometimes when we are so it, or when we are so inside of something, it's really hard to verbalize. It's just so in part of us. So I'm so fascinated to learn how you got to the point where, you know, learned, Hey, I think this is me, to being able to be such a stand and such a beacon of clarity for people and being able to connect these dots. Well, I really appreciate that feedback, that it's something I hear all the time. People are like, Oh my gosh, how did you get in my head? And it's like, I'm really just sharing what's in my head. And we all actually think a lot more similarly than we realize. Yeah, and it's crazy. I feel like so many of us, when we first find out, we're highly sensitive. It's exact or we hear about the term, it's exactly as you said. Oh yeah, that's probably me. And then you read about it and it's like, Whoa, that's crazy. That totally is my life. So yeah, for me, I found out I was highly sensitive about, gosh, I wanna say it was eight years ago now. I was in my early twenties. I was working in this corporate job and it was this really intense environment and I was getting really sick. I had severe digestive issues, and I was going to all these different gastroenterologists. No one was able to help me. And they were like, I might be in your head, I, I'm not seeing anything really wrong with you. And I mean, that was horrible and so hard. And I was like, Well, I know I'm suffering. I mean, I could hardly eat foods without feeling sick. Eventually, after a year of just searching, I found a holistic doctor, which was totally new to me. I was never into holistic things or anything like that, but I was desperate. And in working with him, he explained me the mind body connection and how stress and anxiety has such an impact on our gut. And I was chronically stressed in this environment. So working with him, he started helping me see the emotional stressors and all of this trauma that I was holding onto in my body. And I got really obsessed with self-help and kind of figuring myself out. And so it was at that time that my mom introduced me to the book, The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aaron. I don't know how she found out about it, but she's like, Hey, this sounds like it might describe you. And so I read that book and it was like this just aha moment where for the first time in my life I felt seen. I felt like I wasn't weird or wrong or broken for being sensitive because up until that point I tried to hide my sensitivity. I tried to just be everyone else and not care too much because God forbid you show your feelings. So that was just a permission giver. And I mean, from there I started to just feel really inspired by everything that I was learning from all the self-help I was reading and I was meditating. And so I started a blog back in 2019, and it wasn't for HSPs or anything like that, it was just a blog to share life inspiration. And my tagline was finding the beauty in the everyday, because I've always been a person who, if something happens in my life or in my day, I wanna find the deeper meaning to it or oh, I'm, that's just naturally what I do, which I think is a pretty H S P thing. But so then just from sharing in my blog and connecting with people, I eventually just started talking more about sensitivity because I found, when I shared honestly about the things that I felt and thought other people were like, Holy crap, I feel the exact same way. And so it's really interesting, and that's what I always come back to is I just share everything I share is stuff that I'm dealing with or have dealt with or struggle with or I'm thinking about. And I find that it's just life giving and a permission slip for other people to see, Oh, I'm not the only one who feels this way. Yeah. And it's been amazing what it's all kind of turned into at this point. I mean, <laugh>, it is really truly incredible. It's funny, I was going back and listening to a few of your recent posts, and it's just, even as you talk now, I'm like, there's just so much. And I'm like, same, same, same <laugh>. And that is particularly startling for people that have grown up most of their life feeling like that loan person, I am self proclaimed like a lone wolf permit. Oh, group project. Don't worry guys, I'll put your name on it. See you next week. Oh my gosh, yes. Yes. But that it's, I find that it's such an intricate thread that's weaved in these situations because of course there can be layers of self-protection and anxiety and this and that, but my truth and my base to it is I think that there's this core wound of when I'm not feeling 1000% connected with someone, I would rather be alone <affirmative>. I mean a million times over. And I think that I, I've actually just been diving into the world of NLP and I've been working with a coach and we've revisited some older memories and we came to these words of disappointment and how I don't give people the opportunity to disappoint anymore. And this belief that I do not believe that I can be supported by anyone in the way that I wanna be supported. Wow. It's it and how it's all intertwined and intermingled is just so crazy. So I mean, it's such a huge world. It's such a universe. How do you help people just begin by taking off the layers one by one because it is deep. <Laugh>. Oh yeah, for sure. Well, and just to also say, I can totally relate to that lone wolf thing, and I just recorded a podcast coming out soon about that. And what you were saying just resonated so deep. And I'm sure a lot of HSPs can relate where it's not even wanting to ask for help or support because you don't want the person to disappoint you. <laugh>, I just felt that so much. And I know that's such a thing, and so many sensitive people are the ones who carry it all on their shoulders and do all the things, and we're the caregivers and all of that. So I think it's just a wound that probably so many of us have. It's really wild how much we all have in common. So in terms of where to start and all of the layers and things like that, I always tell people just start with learning about the trait, getting to know what it means to be a highly sensitive person. I mean, Dr. Elaine Aaron's book is amazing. It's the Bible for HSPs that is the best place to just start dive in, learn about it. Because to me it's like when you have that information about the trade and the facts about it, it's so validating. It helps you see, Oh, I was created this way. I am genetically, this is me. This is just part of me. And so that's validating. The other thing I always encourage, and this is why I've created my programs and my whole little world, is get around other highly sensitive people. Get into a community. I mean, I have a free Facebook group, I have a membership program, I have other all sorts of programs because a lot, we tend to have a lot of shame that we are holding onto because of our sensitivity. Because I would say probably the majority of us grew up hearing, You're so sensitive, you're so dramatic, stop being so emotional. And we experience being gaslit so much that we have this shame like, Oh, the way I am is bad and wrong and feel too much. And so I've literally seen it with my own eyes in my communities where people HSPs are just talking openly and sharing. And there's like, the walls can come down and healing can start to occur because you are in a space where there's someone else who feels the same way as you do, and you're like, Wait, I'm not the only one who feels this way. So those are some major things. And then I, I teach on so many things. Boundary setting is key. Learning how to work with your past limiting beliefs and insecurities and healing yourself worth, There's so much to it. There's so many different layers that we go into. But first and foremost, it's learn about it, get around other people who get it. That's huge. Yeah, I <laugh> and it's funny because even the word self, the self-worth thing, <affirmative>, a few months ago, someone had asked me, I was on a call with someone and they're like, Well, do you struggle with self-worth? And I very flippantly was like, Oh no, it just didn't resonate. <laugh> <affirmative>. And then sometimes it takes us time. And for the next two weeks I was like, What the is? Yes, I do. My God, I didn't realize it. It comes, it's the insidious that it kind of sneaks in your life. And at this point in your journey, and you've had so many conversations with so many people that relate to you so deeply, <affirmative>, my question to you is, do you still get shocked and surprised recognizing yourself in new patterns? Yes. Yes. So much so for sure. I'm going through it right now as a new mom. I had a baby almost six months ago now, so it's crazy. Congratulations and thank you. Yeah, it's crazy. So I had actually created a program on self worth for hsp, specifically while I was pregnant. And I, because self worth is at the core of so many of the things that we struggle with, it's so pervasive. So I created this whole program, I knew it inside and out, and then I had a baby and my own self-worth issue started showing up. And I was like, Wait, I thought this out. But I've been working with a therapist in my own old patterns that have been coming out because I find that new life situations, just things happen and our old patterns can come up and there's these extra layers that are always kind of coming through to be healed. So for me, something that's run really deep is this perfectionism always feeling like I need to be perfect in order to be valuable and worthy. And so that's coming up in a new way in motherhood. And so yeah, it does surprise me. And then it's also pieces that are still coming up for me where I'm feeling alone for being sensitive. There's still that little bit where it's, we kind of have that separation. Oh, I still feel a little bit misunderstood. I feel still feel a little bit alone in my sensitivity. And I've been at this for years and I teach people, but I still have my own stuff that comes up. And I always share openly about it because one thing I see from a lot of people I work with is they get really down on themselves if they've been working on something and then they backed and they fall back into an old pattern. And I'm like, No, you're a human. This stuff happens. It's, it's about how you get back up. So yeah, it's super interesting though. It's. Been really, I have 1000%, I have that experience where I've been working on this for so long, and then when the shit hits the fan, I get so disappointed in myself. But I have to catch myself and be like, I am recognizing and understanding this to such a degree that is the growth of it. It's not that I won't react, it's just that deeper comprehension and to be okay with yourself with that. When I had my first son, I was hit very hard and back. What is it? Whiplash with postpartum depression and of, I don't think anyone expects to have it, but I would say that what was the most startling part of that was I was always used to my comfort being alone. And I was fine with it, but I was so scared with that feeling of alone. I remember distinctly looking at my partner deer in the headlights being, I didn't recognize my skin, I didn't recognize anything. I felt like my background, I felt black like a cave. And I was like, this is a whole new level of I can't connect with anyone and I'm actually, I can't connect with myself either. That was the biggest thing is when you feel disconnected from yourself, because I feel like as an H S P, you can find such a sense of home, even though there's a lot going on in your feels, it's like, oh, you know, talked earlier about recognizing the meaning underneath the things. And I think that that is such a reason why we can be okay with being lonely and not having a lot of friends because we're so stimulated by all of the meaning that we can find and freaking everything great blade of breath, I'm a photographer, so I don't have words, but I'm able to be like this with my camera. This is what is important. This is what I mean, blah, blah, blah. But to just be hit with this, a transition, motherhood or whatever it is, really puts a new spin on everything. And how are you navigating that? Oh my gosh, yeah, I can relate so much. Just the whiplash and it's just so, such a swift transition. It's just the carpet's ripped underneath you. Everything as you know, it changes. And that's been hard for me. And I mean, I'll say in the past couple of months, I'm finally feeling better. But for me, at first, the hardest thing was definitely, who am I? This huge identity shift. I felt a lot of grief leaving behind the old version of me who had the time to just be creative and dream and work, tell however long I wanted. It was, I had a lot of grief about leaving that version behind. And it was really hard and really sad for me. I'm like, What? And then you're kind of that liminal space where you're like, I don't know who I'm be who I am now. I feel weird and disconnected. And you were saying trying, we love to find the meeting and things. And I just felt so lost in those very, very early days where I'm like, I don't even know what's going on <affirmative>. So that was hard for sure. And then also just the loss of alone time and your schedule goes on to someone else's schedule. And as somebody who likes my downtime and likes time to myself, having that taken away is very overwhelming. And Yeah. So that was a challenge. But what I have found that's been very helpful for me, and whereas I'm kind of coming out the other side and starting to feel more confident and stepping into this next version is I've been getting a ton of support and I've been really open about that. I started seeing a postpartum therapist probably two months ago now, and I've joined a mom and me group that I go to every week with my daughter. And just being supported and talking about people, talking with people about the real things is life giving for me, because I had felt this extreme sense of isolation, identity loss, frustration, just to keep it real. I always knew I wanted to be a mom and I thought it would be a lot more natural for me to just fall into that <laugh>. But it wasn't, and it's still kind of grappling to be honest. Okay. It driven, overachiever part of me who wants to work all the time. I have to shut that off a lot of times because I have to go be mom. And so I'm still coming to terms with it, but getting support has been everything for me. Oh my God. Not even gonna, it is gonna be a broken record, but this last time, I'll say same exact <laugh>, but I wanted this, Why do I wanna press control or command Z <laugh>? Yeah. Yes. Well, what the fuck <affirmative>? But I find that, so with the support to, and it, it's still, it's been about almost two years now where I've really sunk my teeth into this online space of support and being able to connect with people. Because for so long I was like, Yeah, no thanks. But being able to find the right people is so empowering. But even if, and this is the unlocked for me recently with it, is that even if it's not the absolute perfect person that I feel really gets me, there's so much power to be found in using your own voice and just saying what needs to be said. One of the things that I found to be uncomfortable, but still so worthwhile to do it is when I came back from maternity leave, there was very well meaning sweet people being like, Oh my gosh, how positive must have been wonderful. And in that moment, lump and throat, and I'm like, No, it was really terrible. I had a really hard time <affirmative>, I just had to say it because I was so fucking angry at no one and everyone about why did I not have any idea that it could be this bad? Why are we using the word baby blues? It's such a cute word. Seriously. So I find that being able to just say it and deal with maybe it makes that person uncomfortable, which is a terrible thing for me because I'm a huge empath. I want everyone to be comfortable and happy and don't want anyone to feel bad. But at the same time, it's having this understanding that, no, this is so important to say whether or not you hear me, it's important for me. Yes. Oh my gosh, I have chills when you say that, cuz. And there's like, I don't know, there's this messaging out there where it's like, Oh, you should be grateful you have a healthy baby and you're here, you're fine. Okay. And it's then you're like, Well, I am struggling and this sucks and I don't feel happy and I don't feel like myself. And I totally resonate with that. And that's been one of the coolest things about this mom and me group that I've been going to. It's just been amazing because I'm in a group with other moms who have babies that are the same age as my baby <affirmative>. And it's every single week we share our joy and challenge of the week. And it's like crazy because it's eyeopening to me. It's like, oh, other people are dealing with the same concerns, stresses that I am, or they have other ones that are no, are easy for me. And that also puts it into perspective where it's like you can kind of think, Oh, I'm the only one struggling, but also there's people who have other struggles that are no big deal for you. And so that was also kind of helpful for me to see, Oh, I'm doing a little better than I thought. I'm not the only one. It's super normal to have a hard time. And that's why we need vulnerability and honesty because when people are just acting, everything should be perfect. And then you're struggling. You feel like you're on an island. And so yeah, just being able to voice it is, that's healing in itself for sure. Yeah, totally. What we focus on expands the point where we can't see around it or through it. It's just the biggest fog, the biggest haze, <affirmative>. It's so funny. I find that with all of the, I still, even as we're talking, I'm like, Ugh, this is why I created, I have a membership too. And I'm like, Oh, I'm trying to help people uncover the different thing that I do normally. So ingrained that we don't even know we're doing it in every single thing that we do. One thing that I so do your new offering is around HSP business owners, right? Yeah. Yep. Okay. So listen, HS P over here, and my biggest struggle is like, how do I put into words what I'm trying to do? There are no words. It's so big, it's so complex. So this, and plus I'm a photographer, so I'm like, No, I use pictures. I don't use words. So it's, it's something that is in even more, It's funny because you think, Oh, I'm, I'm only talking to S P h SSPs or only HSPs that have worthiness issues. And now you're like, Okay, now I'm gonna talk to HSPs that are starting a business <affirmative>, because that is its own, that's birthing a baby as well. Lemme tell you. So it is for sure. It is for sure. <laugh>. Yeah. And. Can you talk about why you decided to do this? Totally. Yeah. So it's funny, I was just talking to someone about this on Monday. I'm like, Anything I'm going through in my life, I can't help but wanna help other people with it. It's like this, it's an obsession. I just cannot help myself. So I wanna talk about motherhood, I wanna talk about business cuz I'm an A business owner. H S P. Yeah. So it's funny, I mean, I was getting a lot of dms from people still do, where they'll ask me questions about building a community do you do this? Or how do you deal with people sending hateful messages or whatever. I just always was getting questions from people. And so it was kind of a light bulb. I'm like, Oh, I have answers. I can totally help people with this. And one of the things I could just talk about forever is business and strategy. I am actually a pretty strategic person, not in the traditional boring sense, but I do to think about how things connect and whatever. So to me, business is so fun and interesting. And I knew from my own experience that starting my own business now is amazing because I'm able to work for myself, have a flexible schedule, and then be present with my daughter. That's a total dream. And mm-hmm <affirmative> all I could have asked for. And so seeing how it's benefiting my life so much, I'm, I wanna help other HSPs have the same opportunity if that's something that calls to them. Cause we tend to do a lot better with more flexible schedules. And I mean, we're such passionate people. We tend to be, it's doing work that's like soul giving is amazing for us. It's energizing. And I think we need that. And I know that there are very unique challenges that highly sensitive people have when it comes to showing up online and pricing offerings and all the things. We just have that added layer of sensitivity. So because I've navigated all of this and have come to some a point where I'm self sustained and all of that, I'm like, okay, I wanna help people. So I have a smaller group program, which is a mastermind of, I cap it at eight women or eight people. And then I have a program that I'm running right now, which is for newer business owners. So helping them literally establish their voice and decide who they wanna talk to and all of the things. And it's so fun. It, it's like I'm obsessed. So yeah, that's my latest thing. <laugh>. That must be a total game changer for your client and your person because there are so many, and I'm kind of a total edgy team junkie. I wanna go get my masters. I could sit on Zoom all day in classes, <affirmative>, I love learning. But there are so many. And at this point I've realized what it was. That was a huge disconnect. But there were so many programs that I was misaligned with and I didn't understand what it was that wasn't feeling right and I couldn't decipher yet. At that point in time, I'm like, is this my intuition and a knowing or is it just that I'm scared and this is uncomfortable? And it could have been either, but it definitely at that point it was intuition, but I didn't trust that it was intuition. So I just love that. I mean, beginning your own business is the biggest self growth, self help, whatever transformation that you can do and to be held by someone when you are an HSP that gets that level, that's a game changer. Totally. Oh yeah. It's like, yeah, because we just have to do things differently and we have different issues. I think that kind of come up that can be very unique to us as hsp. So I think that's one of the ways I'm here to teach people is just through my own vulnerability. It's like I've had so many triggers and so many uncomfortable, crappy moments through building my business. Even yesterday. Some of the dms I get are just absurd and really crazy sometimes. And I'm like, every time I'm navigating something, I'm like, okay, this is something that I can help my H S P clients out with because they're going to have this come up for them too, where people are trying to surpass your boundaries or they're rude to you or whatever. So many things come up. And so yeah, it's, I think we just need our own little corner where we're doing business in our own way. And I feel like a lot of the programs that didn't resonate with me are just the content I would consume from business coaches that didn't resonate. It was where it's very hard, rigid, okay, you have to post this many times a day and this is how you have to say it and you have to time block and you have to do this. And I would consume all of this and it would make me feel wrong because I just did things in my own way. And then I was like, Oh wait, am I not gonna succeed because I don't match all of my content ahead of time or whatever. And so gaining confidence in myself in my own way and having it work, it's like, I wanna share this with other people. And I think too, as HSPs, I think we have the ability to be amazing creators and entrepreneurs because of how empathetic we are. The reason people want to buy from a brand, usually it's how it makes them feel. And if they feel connected, and it's like, we're amazing connectors. We're amazing at tuning into what people need and want to hear and all of that. And so I love helping HSPs kind of tease that out of themselves. Oh, you already have this gift. How can you use your sensitivity as actually such an asset in your business instead of seeing it as something like that's gonna hold you back. So I'm kinda obsessed with that. What a cleansing way to move that energy when shit happens. You're like, nothing's gonna ever make it not painful at all. But to be able to be like, Okay, I already know that I can turn this into helping someone else. It's a very swift movement situation. And I love that your business, not only are you so deeply serving so many other people, but it sounds like you're so deeply serving yourself created to be able to constant look what we talked about before, how helpful it is, and empowering to just say the thing. And I think that's why with my photographic work when and the way that I treat that family and the way that I go about the work and the way that I repeatedly over and over again, just be like, Everything you do is perfect. Don't worry about it. Oh, the kids, they don't wanna come over. That's fine. I'm gonna follow them. Whatever they decide is perfect. I'm realizing I could cry. I got do something. I wish I could do that for myself. And the way that I can feel like I'm benefiting from that space is to be in that and do that for others so that I can teach myself more and more. So there's just, with everything that we've named as the struggle, and we've already touched on some of the strong points I hands down, even though it's, it's definitely very complex and there's some very sharp pain points with it. I would never in a million years trade it a million years, trade it for anything. And I know that you feel the same because this is what you're doing. Yeah. What is, I don't know, do you have a grand vision or do you see this moving into something else? Because I feel like there's just no, as you grow with it in life, you're like, Oh, I mean, I'm already seeing an HSP mother support system that you're building. You know what I mean? <affirmative>, there's just so much that you can do, and bringing awareness to this type of person can be life changing for the literal world. So I just would love to hear about what's on your mind. Yeah, I mean, I'm such a creator. I just love coming up with new ideas and any, it's blows my mind that you can have an idea and then make it into a real thing. That's just the coolest thing in the world to me. <laugh>. So I'm obsessed and I have so many ideas. So to me, I mean the big vision is that just continuing to have all of this branch off. So there's literally something for every person in every stage of life. It's this hub where you can go and here's information about HSP moms, here's like things for HSP business owner. Here's things for HS P kids. I think it will just continue to branch off the way that it has because it's funny, at first when I was starting to wanna talk to moms and business owners, there was a part of me where I was afraid people would be like, Oh no, is she only gonna talk about that? And it's like, No, I'm always just gonna talk about all the things because my brand is just being highly sensitive person and there's all sorts of different people out there. But yeah, so definitely having a whole universe of things, <laugh> also, I really feel like I just wanna continue uplifting other highly sensitive people and showcasing them because my through line mission is to help empower highly sensitive people so that they feel confident and then they become leaders in their own lives. Whether that's as a mom or a business owner or at work where they feel confident. So then they're the example to others that, Oh, here's a highly sensitive person who knows how to use their voice. Cause I think we need more empathy in the world. We just totally do <laugh>. And so I could see I showcase more HSPs and give them more of a platform too. And just so many things. And another cool thing is I'm gonna write a book. I am talking to a book publisher, which is amazing. And this has been a dream since I was a kid. So I feel like there's kind of this next step where it'll be writing a book and maybe it'll be speaking and things like that. I feel like there's no limit. And the overachiever part of me is I want all this now, but as a new mom, I have to trust the timing and trust that it'll, it's gonna unfold as it unfolds. But I wanna do all of it right now, <laugh>. But yeah, so all the things there, it's just gonna be never ending inspiration. I feel like it's just, yeah, it's so fun. Oh my gosh, how freaking exciting. I got goosebumps when you said a book. I can totally see a book. Oh my gosh. And speaking, Oh, could you imagine the, I mean, no, you can't even fathom the ripple effect in the world forever from doing this. Talking to high school students, talking, being able to be at parent teacher conferences, or not that granular, but just for young kids. I know for one of my sons is Hs p. I know it and I'm so, I'm very tender about it in a way that I'm nervous for him. Cause I know that feeling. But I'm also so happy that I know what to look for and I know I can relate to him. So I just feel like there's just no end to the good that this can do in the world. And I'm just so grateful for you <laugh>. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I mean that's something I feel like, yeah, that gets me emotional too, is just thinking of connecting with kids at a younger age in adolescence, in teenage years. Like, oh my gosh, the impact that will make. Because that's where a lot of that conditioning starts where we just feel different and feel misunderstood. And how cool would it be for a sensitive kid to have an example for them to see, Oh no, it's cool and actually here's some great superpowers and strengths you have just by being you and having parents who can nurture that in them, that will help those kids grow up with more confidence and do not have to spend so much time on learning all of this crap that a lot of people have to do. So yeah, I mean it's, it's so needed, so grateful to have to do this work. It just feels like a pleasure and a gift. I'm so happy. And this through line to begin to wrap it up this through line of turning a pain point and something that feels like a very tender vulnerability into your power and your purpose. It's something that I realized I only realized last year because of course, it's right under your nose. You don't realize it. My biggest fear in life, my panic attack I had when I was 12 years old about death and the idea of nothing. This, I have literally used that for the rest of my life in my work. That is the nucleus of my work. This is, I was like, Oh, what? One day? Nothing. Nothing. Oh, okay. How do I show people that what's important? And then by the end of it, which I'm not at the end of it, but by the time that I was able to decipher it, I'm like, Oh, I'm documenting the nothing moment. Because the nothing is everything that feels way more comforting. Maybe death isn't nothing, maybe it's everything. And I just, I'm going to spend my life being able to look at the thing that sent me into a panic attack when I was nine years old. You know what I mean? Yes. And yes. And I can do this for other people and help other people live better. So it's like this, I always feel like the things that, I mean, if you're in the personal development world, we all know this of mm-hmm. <affirmative>, the things that trigger you. It's an opportunity to look at. <Laugh>, <affirmative>, <affirmative>, and. You ever always want to. But for people that are not in that world, I feel like it's so valuable to be able to illustrate what can happen when you take something that feels like a, and you turn it into something that is magic. Oh my gosh, yes. Well, and I love your mission. Your per like, Oh my gosh, the way you said that is so beautiful. Nothing is everything. That's so cool. I mean, when you are able to shift into looking at things in that way, it just gives so much more meaning to life. It gives so much more meaning to the struggles. It's like it allows you to have more empathy and compassion because you've now gone through this thing and you're gonna be able to intimately relate to others in a way that you never would've been able to if you hadn't gone through it. And I think the important thing is being able to have the perspective to see it in that way. And it might take some time to get there, cuz that when you're going through it or it's like, Oh my gosh, this is so painful. This is the worst thing in the world. Why is this happening to me? But if you choose to have the awareness when you're starting to come out the other side, like, oh wow, to look at the lessons you learned and see ways that you can help people. I feel like a lot of highly sensitive people just go through these really crazy things in their lives are really painful things in their lives. Because I think I really feel like we're here to share and uplift others. We're, because we're such meaning makers, it's like we have these things happen to us that we have this capacity to then turn around and help other people heal if we are open to believing that. And so it's it. It's just really interesting to me how so many of us have these stories that are painful, but then so many of us are now choosing to create beauty from that and help others because of our empathetic hearts. I think it's for a reason. I really, really do. Thank you for your empathetic heart <laugh>. I feel so grateful for the work that you're doing in the world, and I just know that you are going to activate so many people you already have. Please tell us where we can follow you, where we can listen to your podcast and any programs that are coming out. Or I know that you have a membership, Is that still enrolling? So where you can find me. I'm most active on Instagram at Life by Alyssa. And there I have my website Linked Sensitive and soulful.com. So you can find all the freebies that I have and programs and things like that. My membership, I'm actually not enrolling again until next year. So I always just will share on online when that'll be open. Again, my sensitive insult self-worth program is a really good place for HSPs to start. If you're kind of like you're wanting to delve more into being highly sensitive and learn about how self-worth impacts everything, that's probably one of my favorite programs. But yeah, there's so many different things. So just check my me out on Instagram. You'll find all the things. Amazing. And all of these links that Alyssa just mentioned, I'll put in the show notes so you can go and click that. Thank you so much, Alyssa. This has been amazing. Yeah, thank you for having me. I've loved it. Do you enjoy this episode? Share it with a friend. One of the greatest gifts in life is to be able to feel seen and think that when you share a heartfelt, anything that reminded you of someone or made you think of how it could benefit them, it's a gift. So if you feel so inclined, please do so. Hit subscribe so you don't miss any new episodes. And I look forward to gracing your earbuds <laugh> in the future.