Getting Lost to Get Found: Rewrite Your Story & Explore Your Point of Liberation with Jessicah Travis

"What if?"

It can all start with this tiny question.  This tiny question can be a world opener- a gateway to a life meant for you, written by you.

Jessicah Travis is a life coach specializing in helping you move from your current set of circumstances and mindsets into empowering abilities to own the story you want to be living.

Today on the show Jessicah shares how she realized she was living a story that was not her own and how it took a lot of getting lost to finally get found.

​

More from Jessicah:
https://www.jessicahtravis.com/

IG:
https://www.instagram.com/jessicahtravis/

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www.biancaleamorra.com

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Transcript

[bianca_morra]: 0:01

hello hello and welcome to another episode of helped me see today i am so excited to get talking i'm like record record record we have my new friend and life coach and a practitioner jestica travis on the show and i cannot wait to hear her story and just share her with all of you jessica thank you so much for coming on today

[jessicah_travis]: 0:22

oh i'm

[bianca_morra]: 0:23

oh

[jessicah_travis]: 0:23

so excited i love chatting with you this will be fun

[bianca_morra]: 0:26

oh my gosh so jessica has a couple podcast actually and i was just on hers recently and we just had the best time chatting and connecting over some new found discoveries our own personal world so

[jessicah_travis]: 0:41

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 0:41

i'm just so excited to get a chance to talk again um so jessica you know today we were talking a little bit before we hit her horrid and as we were just going back and forth jessica said this phrase and of court my brain locked in on it like a pipple i love

[jessicah_travis]: 0:59

oh

[bianca_morra]: 0:59

pipplesm

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 1:01

getting lost to get found this idea of getting lost to get found i just want to go with it i want to go from there just like can we first hear a little bit of your back story and you know what has led you to the place you're at today

[jessicah_travis]: 1:20

wow well

[bianca_morra]: 1:21

well

[jessicah_travis]: 1:22

i'm not

[bianca_morra]: 1:23

that

[jessicah_travis]: 1:23

a young pup anymore so my story

[bianca_morra]: 1:26

my story

[jessicah_travis]: 1:27

could be quite long if i let it be but the short of it ah is that i am a life coach and i am a mom and a grandma now of a three year old and and i i have two daughters so we have a grandson is our grandchild and so i am loving life learning the little boy life which i know you know all about so it's new for me just we're having a blast with him and yeah it's my husband and i have been married for over twenty seven years and we uh yeah we have pretty crazy story in you know through all of that but i m the work that i do is helping women to find the story that they want to live the one that they want to put out there in the universe and help them shed the story that they feel obligated to or the story that somebody else is writing for them so and that can be anything from hey this is who i was supposed to be this is like how my family taught me to be this is how my religion taught me to be it can also be big influencers in your life like m leadership roles even ones that have gone toxic or abusive and there's a story that's getting told about you so i like to help women kind of strip away the story that they don't feel as off antic or genuine or real or the one that they want to be living and we move them into the story that they do want to live and it's really it's really exciting work but of course kind of have to go through it yourself first right

[bianca_morra]: 3:25

damn it

[jessicah_travis]: 3:27

because

[bianca_morra]: 3:27

gate

[jessicah_travis]: 3:27

i do i know gosh darned we don't we don't know how to do things sometimes so we have to do with ourselves first

[bianca_morra]: 3:37

i think that's the universes shitty way of helping

[jessicah_travis]: 3:41

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 3:41

us help others

[jessicah_travis]: 3:43

yeah yeah

[bianca_morra]: 3:45

so

[jessicah_travis]: 3:45

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 3:45

how how have you lived the

[jessicah_travis]: 3:47

okay

[bianca_morra]: 3:47

story

[jessicah_travis]: 3:50

um you know i grew up in a fundamental evangelical christian faith i didn't know my life outside of that world i met my husband in that world and raised my kids most of their life in that world my husband was a pastor for ten years so i took on the role of a pastor's wife during that time we worked with youth as well as adults but our passion was working with teams and i still the work that we did but it was the context in which we were doing that under and the pressure and the rules and all of that sort of thing really played um well it played a strong role in our life that eventually just kind of chipped away at our family and ship a way that at our relationship so think the more you start to step into who you are whether you realize it or not whether it's intentional or not you find more conflicts in your life like personal inner conflict where you're like i don't feel good in this space any more or i don't know if i agree with that any more or that's not actually working and it's supposed to be working you know things like that where you just keep kind of budding heads with your life and for us it got to a pretty dark place in our relationship we were on the verge of divorce after twenty i forget how long ago this was now because so much has happened since then but i think we were good twenty two years into marriage and we both just hit rock bottom we we had to make some big choices about our relationship that we had to make some big choices about ourselves and who who we wanted to be who who we actually were outside of all of these voices and all of these um you know pressures and so that led us on self discovery a marriage a discovery journey forward um a lot happened in that time a lot of things were crashing in at that time and i had my oldest daughter was she had not been diagnosed by puller yet and so er was self medicating her mental health through abusive drugs just was not a good space for her and so those were some really hard years and we we all just kind of kind of cave under let's do the pressure the pain the hurts and we just we had to re discover who we were who we wanted to be at that point i don't think that's too different than a lot of people i think we all had those moments in our lives where we have to face ourselves a bit and if learning was smooth if we'd all enjoy it more sometimes we

[bianca_morra]: 7:17

hmm

[jessicah_travis]: 7:17

have to learn learn it the painful way but so my husband threw

[bianca_morra]: 7:22

my

[jessicah_travis]: 7:22

that

[bianca_morra]: 7:22

husband

[jessicah_travis]: 7:23

my husband

[bianca_morra]: 7:23

that

[jessicah_travis]: 7:23

and i up away from the church

[bianca_morra]: 7:26

church

[jessicah_travis]: 7:27

for a

[bianca_morra]: 7:28

or

[jessicah_travis]: 7:28

while

[bianca_morra]: 7:29

a while yeah

[jessicah_travis]: 7:30

at least just to focus on ourselves and not focus on everybody else's needs and we and the ministries that we were a part of so we pulled back quite a bit and turned into to each other sense a lot of a lot more intentional time together but it's very different than the time we spent together before we started this is where the get lost get fan part comes we started saying to each other that can we just can we just run away this weekend can we just get away from all of it just go get lost and we had bought a jeep for the first time a jeep that i had wanted my entire life and he so we want we were you know dying to get it out on back roads and for wheeling and stuff like that but like let's just go get lost maybe we don't have to come back we'll just go get lost and we realize that as we took these weekends away and did these little adventures that we started documenting them through an instagram getting lost with you and then that kind of turned into this whole idea that we were actually finding ourselves in this new space of getting lost and then it just kind of evolved to we're getting lost to get found and it was a beautiful

[bianca_morra]: 9:03

and

[jessicah_travis]: 9:04

discovery

[bianca_morra]: 9:04

it was a beautiful discovery

[jessicah_travis]: 9:04

of each other and ourselves

[bianca_morra]: 9:05

of each other and ourselves getting a little emotional

[jessicah_travis]: 9:11

oh yeah

[bianca_morra]: 9:13

i'm like you know do you find do you think that not that it really matters but i'm just interested in that do you find that your craving to get lost is it was it a yearning for discovery or was it that you know the ministry and like the community that you have been so a

[jessicah_travis]: 9:33

hm

[bianca_morra]: 9:33

part of was just so you were so immersed in it where you were that that's why you were craving craving to kind of leave

[jessicah_travis]: 9:43

um i think yeah probably

[bianca_morra]: 9:45

yeah

[jessicah_travis]: 9:45

both but yeah absolutely

[bianca_morra]: 9:46

yeah

[jessicah_travis]: 9:49

our our life was we had we had a lot of freedom working for the church to explore the ways in which we wanted to build community be part of community be part of people's life so there was a part of it it was really suited for us on the other hand there's a lot of things that are controlled there were times that you in order to be a pastor of a church there has to be funding that comes into that church and that comes from an offering plate getting passed around and people putting their money in and and then you get paid from that and i remember this one sunday morning where this little kid that was in our sunday school classes he might have been five years old and i saw him putting his quarters in there it just hit me really hard that this little guy's quarters were going into my bank account right um but that all of these people were paying my bills were feeding my kids you know there's just this awareness of their money becoming my money and so there was this obligation of what i do with my money um how i spend it whether we take a vacation or not and if we take a vacation how frivolous of a vacatio do we take um what kind of car do we buy m there was one church that we worked for where an elder came up to us a couple of days at a church gathering a couple o days after we had bought a new vehicle our last one had broken down and he said it looks like you bought a new vehicle and i don't think it was a really smart purchase because it's kind of a gas hog you should have bought something that didn't cost so much and i just this idea that nothing was my own the way we lived was not our own we were always under a microscope so when you say did you just want to kind of run away from it absolutely we wanted to do something on our terms um something that was our choice and we really didn't care that we didn't want anybody to have say in it i guess even just a camping trip or a hiking trip or it seems really ridiculous because people do this all the time but for us it had been so many years of our choices being watched every aspect of our life being watched how we raised our kids spent money all of this so

[bianca_morra]: 12:37

so

[jessicah_travis]: 12:38

yeah getting lost felt

[bianca_morra]: 12:39

lo

[jessicah_travis]: 12:40

really good

[bianca_morra]: 12:43

oh my gosh i imagine you know i'm curious it sounds very mersive it sounds very all encompassing and i think that something when you were talking about the ability to rewrite your story and not accept the story that someone else writes for you you know when you feel like you're under scrutiny

[jessicah_travis]: 13:03

hm

[bianca_morra]: 13:03

of whatever what i find the most

[jessicah_travis]: 13:07

yes

[bianca_morra]: 13:07

mind blowing is

[jessicah_travis]: 13:08

oh

[bianca_morra]: 13:10

when you're that deep into it your ability to pull out because it's so disorienting like the more

[jessicah_travis]: 13:17

a

[bianca_morra]: 13:17

involved in something you are

[jessicah_travis]: 13:18

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 13:19

it's like you can't see the tip of your nose right so like how

[jessicah_travis]: 13:23

hm

[bianca_morra]: 13:23

well one was there a pivotal point in which you realized wait a minute whose story is this

[jessicah_travis]: 13:30

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 13:31

because it can feel so natural and so good for so long that you know it's very elusive it's actually just had a conversation this last time you know different but kind of similar concept of like you start this business and you work on your craft that you love so much and it gives you

[jessicah_travis]: 13:46

m

[bianca_morra]: 13:46

life and energizes you and then somewhere along the lines you feel like a shell of a human you're like what love this what happened you know so was that

[jessicah_travis]: 13:53

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 13:54

was there a point that you remember diagnosing it like finding it out

[jessicah_travis]: 13:59

hm

[bianca_morra]: 13:59

almost like in your own life and then also is there a way that you can suggest and help someone to kind of step back and look at themselves and kind of see where they're not living their own story but might not realize it

[jessicah_travis]: 14:12

m yeah there were there were a couple of things we made a big decision to move out of the community that my husband was pasturing because my youngest daughter was had had started talking about wanting to commit suicide she had been bullied from a very young age and we were in a very small town you can't just change schools there's not another school to change to so we decided to make a big choice and resign his position and move to a big bigger city and so there at the resources that were needed and just a kind of a clean slate for her in terms of her social serunding and so we made a big life shift at that point but my husband was ready to be done with that life being a pastor and i didn't quite know what to do without it yeah um so we had there was a lot of contention between us in terms of how we lived moving forward we both dealt with it very differently i kept wanting to go back he kept running through further from it and which eventually led to a lot of relationship issues for us but i think and in that process i ended up taking a job with my husband worked for him too but that was not a religious job at all we were in retail and i was a running coach and the person that we worked for was a friend of ours but he is he's very narsisistic gas lighter it was just a very toxic relationship and it just ate away at my husband and i relationship because we were both dealing with the same boss and dealing with all that all of those dynamics um but it was one of those that kind of it was a relationship that woke me up to somebody very specifically trying to tell me how to view the world how to view reality and if you know anything about gas lighting the basic idea is that a gas lighter is working to convince you of another reality that isn't the reality so um it was just this constant trying to please trying to do better at my job trying to meet marks you know sales marks things like that and every time i met them then it's raised well that's not what i said i said this and it's just like this this my world just started spinning and m and in one sense you know my husband and i were taking a walk today and talking about some of the stuff from that time and how it still eats away at our thoughts and how we view ourselves then but yet at the same time it was because of that that made me aware wait he's got a story he's trying to make me live within and it doesn't feel good and i just kept butting up against it so when you say how how did you know you can't live with that much in your conflict for very long when you are constantly saying having this feeling inside of obligation versus desire and you're constantly pushing your own personal wants and desires down or something wrong there we're letting go of something that is part of who we are we're denying something of ourselves and it might be for the sake of religion it might be the sake for the sake of relationship or a job everybody might have a different reason but but when we start to find ourselves pushing down and suppressing some part of us the we don't we may not even know we like that part of us we just know we're pushing it down um i think i think that was the turning point for me and for my husband

[bianca_morra]: 18:19

my

[jessicah_travis]: 18:19

and

[bianca_morra]: 18:19

husband

[jessicah_travis]: 18:19

i in order

[bianca_morra]: 18:20

and i in

[jessicah_travis]: 18:20

for

[bianca_morra]: 18:20

order

[jessicah_travis]: 18:20

us to stay together i have to

[bianca_morra]: 18:21

together

[jessicah_travis]: 18:21

become really honest about who i wanted to be moving forward in that relationship so

[bianca_morra]: 18:27

oh

[jessicah_travis]: 18:28

it was time to actually start what do you like jess

[bianca_morra]: 18:31

do you like

[jessicah_travis]: 18:32

now are you going to

[bianca_morra]: 18:34

are you gonna

[jessicah_travis]: 18:34

dip it starbik's ordering

[bianca_morra]: 18:36

tarbakring

[jessicah_travis]: 18:36

the coffee that your friend ordered

[bianca_morra]: 18:37

that

[jessicah_travis]: 18:37

just

[bianca_morra]: 18:37

you

[jessicah_travis]: 18:37

because they did that and you're not sure

[bianca_morra]: 18:39

did that you

[jessicah_travis]: 18:39

if you should order something different or do you

[bianca_morra]: 18:43

or

[jessicah_travis]: 18:43

just go out on a limb and order what you actually want and it sounds it sounds so ridiculous

[bianca_morra]: 18:49

it sounds so

[jessicah_travis]: 18:49

even to me now but

[bianca_morra]: 18:50

now

[jessicah_travis]: 18:51

it was

[bianca_morra]: 18:51

but

[jessicah_travis]: 18:51

it started

[bianca_morra]: 18:52

arted

[jessicah_travis]: 18:53

with me ordering the coffee that i wanted not the one that

[bianca_morra]: 18:57

not

[jessicah_travis]: 18:57

i

[bianca_morra]: 18:57

the

[jessicah_travis]: 18:57

thought

[bianca_morra]: 18:57

one that

[jessicah_travis]: 18:57

was

[bianca_morra]: 18:57

i

[jessicah_travis]: 18:57

the

[bianca_morra]: 18:58

ought

[jessicah_travis]: 18:58

one to get so these little micro

[bianca_morra]: 19:01

little i

[jessicah_travis]: 19:02

things in my life

[bianca_morra]: 19:04

right

[jessicah_travis]: 19:04

were screaming at me just what do you want what do you want ou

[bianca_morra]: 19:07

i

[jessicah_travis]: 19:08

want you like

[bianca_morra]: 19:09

right

[jessicah_travis]: 19:10

what lights you up

[bianca_morra]: 19:11

might do it

[jessicah_travis]: 19:12

no those are those were not things

[bianca_morra]: 19:13

no

[jessicah_travis]: 19:14

that i cluded into for myself at all um the other was that i

[bianca_morra]: 19:18

other

[jessicah_travis]: 19:18

was

[bianca_morra]: 19:19

was

[jessicah_travis]: 19:19

becoming

[bianca_morra]: 19:19

that i was

[jessicah_travis]: 19:19

very disembodied so

[bianca_morra]: 19:22

o

[jessicah_travis]: 19:22

m i so easy for me to live in my head a really easy space for me to be also could be a very dangerous space for me to live um but and i had had this very active spiritual life for so long just a important had incredible value in my life um and then i had this relationship with my body in running and try at lane and i didn't know how to intersect those i didn't know how to bring them together so i could i could work out as an athlete and i would watch my my metrics and my data like crazy so that was the heady part those two could connect but i didn't really have a spiritual experience with it in my spirituality um is how much do i know i need to know more but very disembodied are very removed from my body so it's very rare that i ever had all three of these parts of myself connecting together um and so that was another identifier for me was that i just almost felt like i was living as three different people as in one you know

[bianca_morra]: 20:37

i identify with that as well sometimes i feel like multiple versions of myself

[jessicah_travis]: 20:43

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 20:44

sometimes remember one time i was at work so it's like you're always so calm i like am i like

[jessicah_travis]: 20:51

so

[bianca_morra]: 20:52

like like that is your experience

[jessicah_travis]: 20:55

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 20:56

okay um

[jessicah_travis]: 20:58

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 20:59

cis this is so this is so powerful know what i find what keeps coming up for me as you're speaking is like the where do you find where did you

[jessicah_travis]: 21:16

m

[bianca_morra]: 21:16

find and continue to

[jessicah_travis]: 21:17

oh

[bianca_morra]: 21:17

find the strength for it because even like even when you give examples and you're like it sounds

[jessicah_travis]: 21:23

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 21:23

silly now but i'm like it's not even though i think every single one of us can relate to this like in a various you know scaling a varying degrees but like there are plenty of times where someone's asked me something i said some and of a sudden i'm like wait a minute i don't know why i just said that wait no like i actually don't

[jessicah_travis]: 21:42

he

[bianca_morra]: 21:42

think that or i don't you know but it takes strength to check yourself and to kind of be that and show that and not try to guess the right answer but you know be okay with like not immediately knowing and like okay let me i guess i got to excavate a little bit of my own but the idea that this decision to find yourself with something that you had to make over and over and over and over again because you lived a whole life in the world and

[jessicah_travis]: 22:18

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 22:18

then you decided wait

[jessicah_travis]: 22:21

oh

[bianca_morra]: 22:21

a minute the funk wait what's going on here

[jessicah_travis]: 22:25

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 22:26

and so you know i'm sure in like tiny and massive ways you had to keep you know incrementally doing this like did you find that it was really hard to you know start this process in the beginning ere did it get easier as you went

[jessicah_travis]: 22:45

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 22:47

oh

[jessicah_travis]: 22:47

um there were safe

[bianca_morra]: 22:49

we're

[jessicah_travis]: 22:49

things

[bianca_morra]: 22:49

safe

[jessicah_travis]: 22:50

that you could make these decisions about early on having the coffee that you want with safe you know there really wasn't a lot of consequences no somebody else didn't like what i ordered or some reason it was the wrong order i mean i don't i know that that's how i felt but i couldn't tell you today even how did i get there thinking that i could order the wrong coffee right but so those are those are fairly stage things one of the things that was happening for years as my husband was a pastor is well if i were to if i were to go back and look at myself as a young child i was incredibly inquisitive my favorite question was what if was very exploratory for me so um what if now no one actually landed on the moon right like it just it cause it gives you space to start exploring keep asking the next question and asking the next question right i really haven't entertained that question for very long so this is the first thing came to my mind but most of it was around around my faith you know and there was this war um one question that i wrote a block about that got me in a lot of trouble and it was about what if god was more good then what you're that our faith is telling us he is what if he was actually more good than i could see it in the world then what we're being taught he should be that was going to blow a part what i understood about god it was going to blow apart my theology was going to blow apart my understanding of what what or who or how god actually was and and i don't it was just question that sparked the next question then the next question and eventually my husband and i were brought before a team of elders and you're reading the wrong books you're writing the wrong things you know his job was on the and it was just really ridiculous that question has followed us all along what if we moved to this state what's possible if we did that right so it's opportunity it's hope it's discovery its exploration and i think that that's what i started doing was what if i just ordered the coffee i like what if i shopping for that thing that i've always wanted to shop for what if i bought the red dress what if you know and it just became these little these little things and like i said some of them ere really safe but some of them are still really scary because they change identity we're used to living in so i have this dream one day i will do it but i want to wear you know the song the woman in red a big song when i was in high school and you just wanted to be the girl at the dance in red that the guy is singing about right some day i'm going to buy the red dress right and it was that but if i do that the role that i had had up until that point didn't offer me an opportunity for this red dress to be worn and it was going to be a sex address so that really doesn't fly with being a pastor's life right so

[bianca_morra]: 26:33

we're

[jessicah_travis]: 26:33

it

[bianca_morra]: 26:33

doing

[jessicah_travis]: 26:33

was

[bianca_morra]: 26:33

a

[jessicah_travis]: 26:33

like

[bianca_morra]: 26:33

photo shoot of you in a red dress i'm coming we're doing a photo shoot you would look incredible and red this was happening

[jessicah_travis]: 26:43

you know it's it's sometimes it's just the weirdest things that just rise up in us and we realize that that's the point of liberation right that's the point where we just we come unleashed is when we get to wear the red dress or it really begins with asking what if i bought the red dress if i just did it what would happen so yeah a couple of years after this process started i had they found a tumor in my eye and i was starting to lose my sit in my left eye um that's kind of a whole story end of itself but it led to two brain surgeries with in a matter of four months and i do have my eyesight it's really exciting story it's just is amazing like so but it was after that and going through that and becoming very much in control of my hearing um i had decided going into the brain surgeries that i was going to control the atmosphere in which i healed in um so it was precovid you know everybody comes to the hospital whether you want them to or not you know that kind of thing and and i had a lot of people who no really wanted to support me and wanted to be there for me but i knew that brain surgery was potentially going to be very much of a sensory overload for me there's a lot of things that can happen without the just with your eyesight and everything to just affect a sense your your ability to handle bright lights and all kinds of things so i had decided that i was going to control who could come and see me how i was going to heal was just going to be me and my husband and we spent several weeks just the two of us at home while i healed and um it was somewhere in that process where i realized wow i can i can decide this really big thing in my life i had to make the decision whether i even had the brain surgery at all it wasn't an emergency thing it was a choice so these these really monumental choices i think we're just piling up all that courage and all of that belief that i could make decisions for myself i could live in a way that i wanted to live and that led to what my husband calls the year of jess and in two thousand nineteen m i made a decision to take a trip to tansanea africa with a group of women um that's always kind of scary to travel with a group of women right you never people you don't know and you just never know what it's going to be but it started this this year of saying yes to everything that came along and one of the things i said yes too was i'm hiring a life coach and she did such amazing work with me moving out of a previous mind set and understanding of myself and giving me the freedom to see myself as i wanted to be seen it was such a gift um and that led me to quitting my job and deciding i wasn't going to work for a narcisist any longer um and um and even standing up to to that abuse publicly and then it led to me going to africa led to getting certified to become a life coach it led to just so many things in between just i just said yes to everything then i spent the year healing my body so becoming very embodied where i was so used to being disembodied i was bringing all of myself together in fact i was working with a physical therapist after my brain surgery because having been running and try athlete and running coach prior to my surgery um it was a lot to come back to afterward my body had experienced this trauma and in the process of that i was starting to have these weird things just kind of like popping up all over my body compartment in drum and just different strange injuries that i wasn't used to having and my physical therapist sent me to a wonderful massage therapist and they were working together to help heal my body and at one point he said to me you know i've been working with you for weeks now he said at some point you're going to have to decide you want to be healed and i was like wait wait i'm i'm here for you to heal me how how do i have a part in this i'm laying here on a bed and he said what you don't understand is that although you don't remember your surgeries your body does your body was still present you just didn't you don't have recall of it and you don't have the feeling of the surgery but your body does and you have to start telling your body it's safe safe to be with you it's safe to move it's safe heal and it was this wild adventure back into my body and back into connecting that spiritual that physical that mental that if i didn't bring those all together working as one i couldn't heal myself m so that that whole year was just just like whatever just say yes to everything say yes to your body say yes to healing say yes to whatever moves you forward to to being whole so that that was probably the most intense exploratory part of you know answering all those what questions

[bianca_morra]: 33:16

i'm so

[jessicah_travis]: 33:16

a

[bianca_morra]: 33:17

fucking blown away

[jessicah_travis]: 33:19

yeah oh

[bianca_morra]: 33:23

most people watch or listen to this and don't see it but if you were to be watching this

[jessicah_travis]: 33:28

oh

[bianca_morra]: 33:28

video on youtube you just see me like i can't

[jessicah_travis]: 33:30

oh

[bianca_morra]: 33:30

even handle my face my head is shaken

[jessicah_travis]: 33:33

oh

[bianca_morra]: 33:36

i you know

[jessicah_travis]: 33:36

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 33:37

this idea of revelation of like you've had this crazy intense thing brain surgery and you were like if i can if i can control my environment in this situation surely i can control my environment in this situation if i like this idea of

[jessicah_travis]: 34:00

i think

[bianca_morra]: 34:00

transferring

[jessicah_travis]: 34:00

i lost you

[bianca_morra]: 34:01

ownership like iding strength in

[jessicah_travis]: 34:03

can

[bianca_morra]: 34:03

even

[jessicah_travis]: 34:03

you

[bianca_morra]: 34:03

the

[jessicah_travis]: 34:03

hear me

[bianca_morra]: 34:04

safewies that you classify them as like it's you know safer to order a coffee um

[jessicah_travis]: 34:10

oh

[bianca_morra]: 34:10

than to make a bigger decision but

[jessicah_travis]: 34:12

oh

[bianca_morra]: 34:12

you're working that muscle you're saying okay if i can do this here

[jessicah_travis]: 34:16

m

[bianca_morra]: 34:16

then maybe i can do this here and then if i could do this here then maybe i can do this here

[jessicah_travis]: 34:21

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 34:21

and really it's such a beautiful way to just you know take something seems like mount everest and chip away at it and it really isn't so crazy once you say yes to yourself over and over again and i love i love that you call it out even red dress because

[jessicah_travis]: 34:39

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 34:40

these i think way too often

[jessicah_travis]: 34:42

oh

[bianca_morra]: 34:42

we fluff ourselves off like it's so easy to be like well

[jessicah_travis]: 34:47

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 34:47

you know i have the silly thing that i want to do and i don't even know why or like i've been you know i used to in high school in middle school used to dance hip hop and

[jessicah_travis]: 34:56

hm

[bianca_morra]: 34:56

i love dance and it kind

[jessicah_travis]: 34:58

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 34:58

of i keep telling myself you know how i even keep up like i want to fucking dance like you

[jessicah_travis]: 35:05

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 35:06

want to wear a red dress like

[jessicah_travis]: 35:07

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 35:08

you know these aren't coincidences these aren't like silly things because what if what if i did dance like what would happen with my body and my energy and my attitude

[jessicah_travis]: 35:19

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 35:19

towards my life like what if you wear this red dress what happens then it's like giving yourself permission to dream and explore into the nooks and crannies of yourself i mean it's

[jessicah_travis]: 35:33

a

[bianca_morra]: 35:33

just

[jessicah_travis]: 35:35

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 35:36

you

[jessicah_travis]: 35:37

you know

[bianca_morra]: 35:38

know

[jessicah_travis]: 35:38

i think one of the things that we do as m growing into

[bianca_morra]: 35:42

growing

[jessicah_travis]: 35:42

adulthood from being a child being a child is all exploration it's all adventure it's all discovery and and learning something new and um and finding out what you like in what you don't like it's the whole point of childhood right and and any one of us would value that experience for a child somehow as we grow up as an adult we're supposed to grow out of that we're supposed to grow up and become realistic and and i actually think that when we do that we leave a part of ourselves behind we leave it back there you know and i am becoming more and more grateful for the events in my life that allow me to go back and find that piece of myself and say hey no we can bring it to the present it was meant to be part of you it's okay to bring it to the present okay to look a little crazy it's okay because really who defined what crazy was anyway right and so i have i really really enjoy being without the rules that that i developed over my adult fid i'm hoping that as i live each day forward i am always looking to find the parts of me that i forgot about the parts of me that have yet to be released into my future i think it's i have a podcast called liberate your story because this idea of self liberation of bringing i mean i can't i can't liberate you that's going to be up to you to know what needs to be let go of and what needs to be released and so that we can we can bring out what it is that we want to bring out but i think it's a very powerful thing when we get to do that for ourselves and i remember a feeling there were a couple of moments and it was around the time that i had the brain surgeries where i don't know if you're familiar with gray's anatomy at all but i'm d shepard the girl dr sheppard she every time she would go in to do one of her brain surgeries she would stand there in the super hero pose and she would just soak it in for a moment it was like she was calling her inner super hero to come present and then she could go and she could do this thing right and i know it's just t v but it was a very real picture for me that i could call forth my inner super hero and i could go out and do that thing that i wanted to do and i may not even know what it all is yet you know i think that's what sort of exciting as we get to keep discovering it and we keep to keep finding it

[bianca_morra]: 38:52

my god i mean how boring would it be if we

[jessicah_travis]: 38:55

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 38:55

knew everything know and why and pretending feels terrible and you know you said risk feeling silly or you know when you do something that's that seems crazy or whatever or out of the norm it gives so many people permission and to take a not even take a deep breath let a breath out i feel like so

[jessicah_travis]: 39:17

m

[bianca_morra]: 39:18

there's so much of holding breath around keeping it all together but what does that even mean i was just talking today i was on a shoe talking to someone about how now these school systems that everyone revers and listen i love school if i could do anything i probably could get my masters i just

[jessicah_travis]: 39:36

hm

[bianca_morra]: 39:37

love sitting in the classroom

[jessicah_travis]: 39:37

oh

[bianca_morra]: 39:38

and listening and smoking everything up

[jessicah_travis]: 39:40

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 39:40

but you know at the end of the day a things that they don't teach you in the public school system and even the private school system

[jessicah_travis]: 39:48

m

[bianca_morra]: 39:48

like life

[jessicah_travis]: 39:49

hm

[bianca_morra]: 39:50

skills is crazy to me and i went to a private school there's plenty of things that i came out not knowing and it's just so silly to me that like there are so many things that are standards quote unquote standards and are the right quote unquote

[jessicah_travis]: 40:06

m

[bianca_morra]: 40:06

thing to do that have so many holes in them but yet they're the most popular thing so we are kind of form our lives and our perceptions and our self worth

[jessicah_travis]: 40:16

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 40:17

and our bla around

[jessicah_travis]: 40:18

a

[bianca_morra]: 40:18

ship that doesn't even make sense

[jessicah_travis]: 40:21

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 40:22

you know just because someone used to do that way there's plenty of things that you do forever and then of a sudden we think why the hell are we doing that and then we stop you know but for all that

[jessicah_travis]: 40:34

yes

[bianca_morra]: 40:34

time all of those lives that were over and during that you know whatever felt adhered to it so while you know there's there's grain of salt and there's value in everything and there's but there's also infinite value

[jessicah_travis]: 40:47

oh

[bianca_morra]: 40:48

and always questioning

[jessicah_travis]: 40:49

oh

[bianca_morra]: 40:50

everything i love

[jessicah_travis]: 40:51

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 40:52

that from a young

[jessicah_travis]: 40:53

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 40:53

age what if was your thing because that's just such a gateway to so much more what if it's such a i don't know it's like

[jessicah_travis]: 41:03

oh

[bianca_morra]: 41:04

it's so empowering it's so empowering and now that

[jessicah_travis]: 41:08

oh

[bianca_morra]: 41:08

you are so in like in on this ride and can't wait

[jessicah_travis]: 41:14

oh

[bianca_morra]: 41:14

to see what's next like what would you say to someone that might be more towards the beginning like if this is

[jessicah_travis]: 41:20

oh

[bianca_morra]: 41:21

a conversation that is like really illuminating for someone getting their blood pumping and like oh my

[jessicah_travis]: 41:26

hm

[bianca_morra]: 41:26

gosh you know what would you say to i mean that's more in the beginning of this journey like from where you are

[jessicah_travis]: 41:31

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 41:32

now

[jessicah_travis]: 41:34

um m i think that the first first thing we have to do is give ourselves permission to evolve and if if we feel that evolving into something that we're not currently feeling ourselves in go we won't you know and nobody else is going to hand us that permission necessarily that has like that has to come from ourselves giving ourselves permission to begin asking the questions begin saying yes to feel those things that may not feel so monumental um but when i work with my clients like to help them mevthrough this process of self discovery and um and writing their own story i'm we start back with with values what do you actually value because sometimes on what we value is writing the story that we live right so if you value money your story will look something like way that you value money whether you have a scarcity mindset about it or you have a plentiful or an abundance mindset about it you're going to live in a way that reacts from that value right so for someone like me i valued spirituality i valued the rules of my religion and so to work against that was felt like it was working against myself and so you kind of just don't go anywhere right so what i will do with my clients is we will go through values and we will start to identify um kind of separate the story that they've lived at this point from the value the things that they actually you versus the things that someone tells them they should value or that they're you know family they were raised and valued so when we can start to know what it is that actually means something to us we'll start to live from that um i wonder the discoveries that i made in that process was i actually really vow justice and this was something i could see way back when i was a child that i wanted i wasn't a very good play pretend play with toys kind of child i was what if child i was the one asking all the questions and why is this happening and you know i probably could have told you more about what was going on in the world at a very young age than i should have but but it was i valued that it was fair everybody had the same chance at the same thing and i could see that through my entire life but that wasn't something i was living in and so when i recognize this value in myself again and i started to live in it what happened was my voice started to come out things that mattered to me started to be spoken be written about um started a podcast or two you know i started doing these things that are actually all of at coming to the surface it led me down a completely different path then what the values i was trying to live in that i thought i was supposed to be living into and i think that when

[bianca_morra]: 45:22

and

[jessicah_travis]: 45:22

we

[bianca_morra]: 45:22

i think

[jessicah_travis]: 45:22

don't

[bianca_morra]: 45:22

that when we don't

[jessicah_travis]: 45:23

live within

[bianca_morra]: 45:24

i

[jessicah_travis]: 45:24

the values that we actually had we don't recognize those we re i miss

[bianca_morra]: 45:28

really

[jessicah_travis]: 45:28

those voices and those experiences in the world

[bianca_morra]: 45:31

oh

[jessicah_travis]: 45:33

i think the world's

[bianca_morra]: 45:34

in the

[jessicah_travis]: 45:34

far

[bianca_morra]: 45:34

world

[jessicah_travis]: 45:34

more colorful

[bianca_morra]: 45:35

of

[jessicah_travis]: 45:35

and adventurous place if we are

[bianca_morra]: 45:38

we

[jessicah_travis]: 45:38

being honest

[bianca_morra]: 45:39

are being

[jessicah_travis]: 45:39

about what it is that matters

[bianca_morra]: 45:40

what

[jessicah_travis]: 45:40

to us and we live into

[bianca_morra]: 45:42

we

[jessicah_travis]: 45:42

it be honest about

[bianca_morra]: 45:45

be

[jessicah_travis]: 45:45

what

[bianca_morra]: 45:45

honest

[jessicah_travis]: 45:45

doesn't matter to you you know stop

[bianca_morra]: 45:48

probably

[jessicah_travis]: 45:48

wasting

[bianca_morra]: 45:49

more

[jessicah_travis]: 45:49

energy

[bianca_morra]: 45:49

so that

[jessicah_travis]: 45:49

and time on things yeah probably

[bianca_morra]: 45:52

yeah

[jessicah_travis]: 45:53

you know

[bianca_morra]: 45:54

i

[jessicah_travis]: 45:54

i

[bianca_morra]: 45:54

think

[jessicah_travis]: 45:54

think

[bianca_morra]: 45:54

that

[jessicah_travis]: 45:54

i

[bianca_morra]: 45:54

it

[jessicah_travis]: 45:54

think go ahead

[bianca_morra]: 45:56

it's so crazy it's so uh you said it you said rather than trying to i think that you really hit the nail on the head when you said that once you knowledge and just like touched this idea that like justice is high value for me effortlessly you started living into that like your voice

[jessicah_travis]: 46:21

hm

[bianca_morra]: 46:21

the podcast and which is probably felt good and flowed meanwhile like when you were maybe unknowingly living within these confines and values that weren't actually yours you were

[jessicah_travis]: 46:34

right

[bianca_morra]: 46:34

trying to live into them you were

[jessicah_travis]: 46:37

hm

[bianca_morra]: 46:37

so what happens when

[jessicah_travis]: 46:39

well i need any

[bianca_morra]: 46:39

you just placed your attention on something that you're like oh there it is

[jessicah_travis]: 46:46

well and what's really

[bianca_morra]: 46:47

and

[jessicah_travis]: 46:47

interesting you had you early on asked how do we how do somebody identify

[bianca_morra]: 46:52

somebody identify

[jessicah_travis]: 46:52

you know this need to shift

[bianca_morra]: 46:56

need to shift

[jessicah_travis]: 46:57

in themselves

[bianca_morra]: 46:57

in themselves

[jessicah_travis]: 46:58

and when

[bianca_morra]: 46:58

and

[jessicah_travis]: 46:59

i was

[bianca_morra]: 46:59

when

[jessicah_travis]: 46:59

twenty

[bianca_morra]: 46:59

i was

[jessicah_travis]: 47:00

i was in i had gone to missionary school and i was living in india

[bianca_morra]: 47:04

a

[jessicah_travis]: 47:05

and

[bianca_morra]: 47:05

and

[jessicah_travis]: 47:06

i remember we

[bianca_morra]: 47:07

remember

[jessicah_travis]: 47:07

had this really complicated group of people that i was working with over there all from the states and we we had these circles that we would get in every couple of nights where they call them affirmation circles and we go around and tell positive things about each other meanwhile we all had like issues with each other was quite interesting but one of the things that kept getting said about me in this circle was such a quiet spirit and i and i'm like finally i just said what what does that mean to you quiet spirit and they're like you're just so at peace and you're just you're just quiet spirit and i didn't say this out loud but i wrote it in my journal so i know i felt it at the time i felt like a sucking lion i wanted to roar so loud i had so much to say i had so many things that needed to come up and issues that i was having within the dynamics of this team and i just remember that feeling of i feel like a lion i feel like i need to roar so when i came back you know years down the road to this discovery of my values and and justice comes to the surface for me i was like king that that was it i saw it back in my life you know it's it's not like we we just you just had to push it down because it wasn't the right space it wasn't the right role as a woman to be a roaring lion in the church setting just didn't make any sense a so now you know i get on my podcast and i say what i think i say what i want to communicate with the world put it out there because i'm a sucking lion right m

[bianca_morra]: 49:07

fucking love it oh my god yea and you know and that's

[jessicah_travis]: 49:11

lining in a red dress right

[bianca_morra]: 49:13

you alight in a red dress that's your halloween costume this year

[jessicah_travis]: 49:18

right

[bianca_morra]: 49:18

now i you know it's so funny to because i'm you obviously remember that visceral feeling of being

[jessicah_travis]: 49:26

hm

[bianca_morra]: 49:26

like what does that even mean

[jessicah_travis]: 49:28

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 49:28

but the fact that like that's part of it you were getting quote unquote praised for that

[jessicah_travis]: 49:35

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 49:35

like that was a good thing like that that's just part that's just a sliver of like

[jessicah_travis]: 49:40

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 49:40

all of the ways in which it can get really confusing especially when you consider you know it starts from when you're kid like getting praised for being a good girl or you know only speak when spoken to yadadiatait's just finding

[jessicah_travis]: 49:58

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 49:58

those bread crumbs though when you have that realization you're able to like trace back

[jessicah_travis]: 50:04

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 50:05

all of those poignant experiences it's really interesting so in

[jessicah_travis]: 50:08

oh

[bianca_morra]: 50:09

my borshipnesala now like something that we do it's reminding

[jessicah_travis]: 50:12

ah

[bianca_morra]: 50:12

me so much of this is that you know i don't ask anyone to take pictures of anything specifically the idea or the idea the function of the group is once a month we look at the photos of just that month and it's this idea of witnessing the photos you took and like what does it mean to

[jessicah_travis]: 50:32

m

[bianca_morra]: 50:32

you like what photos like kind of like not seeing the photos but

[jessicah_travis]: 50:36

oh

[bianca_morra]: 50:36

seeing the person that

[jessicah_travis]: 50:37

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 50:38

decided to take those photos and you know

[jessicah_travis]: 50:41

gotcha

[bianca_morra]: 50:41

picking the important ones and like being able

[jessicah_travis]: 50:44

oh

[bianca_morra]: 50:44

to just pick three or four or whatever from the month and deciding like what was the theme of that month like what do you want to leave whith you what do you want to take going forward it's just and then once you decide to become aware and a little bit more awake to whatever it is that you're seeing you see more of it naturally and i just keep talking about

[jessicah_travis]: 51:06

yes

[bianca_morra]: 51:06

like the compounding effect of like just becoming a little bit more awake a little bit more awake in like the tiny spaces

[jessicah_travis]: 51:14

hm

[bianca_morra]: 51:14

and like what's this going to mean like a year down the road two years

[jessicah_travis]: 51:17

oh

[bianca_morra]: 51:17

down the road it's such powerful work that i think seems like a really heavy lift but you really hit the nail on the head when you touched on this feeling of it just started coming out of you once you're able to just see

[jessicah_travis]: 51:32

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 51:32

it

[jessicah_travis]: 51:38

okay i lost you there for a second did you ask me a question

[bianca_morra]: 51:41

i said you really hit the nail on the head when you said you know once

[jessicah_travis]: 51:45

oh

[bianca_morra]: 51:46

you were able to just see it it just started coming out and it just started flowing

[jessicah_travis]: 51:53

yeah well and i think i think the flow is such a great word because it's sort of like myself check do i feel like i'm

[bianca_morra]: 52:02

i

[jessicah_travis]: 52:02

just

[bianca_morra]: 52:02

feel

[jessicah_travis]: 52:02

kind

[bianca_morra]: 52:02

like i'm

[jessicah_travis]: 52:03

of butting up against myself all the time

[bianca_morra]: 52:05

all

[jessicah_travis]: 52:05

or do i feel like

[bianca_morra]: 52:06

or do

[jessicah_travis]: 52:06

i'm just kind of

[bianca_morra]: 52:07

i

[jessicah_travis]: 52:07

moving in flow flow with myself

[bianca_morra]: 52:09

so it

[jessicah_travis]: 52:09

flow with the universe you know just it just feels like flow and

[bianca_morra]: 52:15

and

[jessicah_travis]: 52:15

it's a bit of engage like

[bianca_morra]: 52:17

like

[jessicah_travis]: 52:17

if i am constantly in conflict with myself i gotta step back and go what's going on here am i trying to live

[bianca_morra]: 52:23

i

[jessicah_travis]: 52:23

into

[bianca_morra]: 52:23

try

[jessicah_travis]: 52:23

something

[bianca_morra]: 52:23

to live

[jessicah_travis]: 52:24

i'm not really supposed to live into am i

[bianca_morra]: 52:27

my

[jessicah_travis]: 52:27

finding something in myself that needs to be kind of look at and

[bianca_morra]: 52:31

look

[jessicah_travis]: 52:31

say hey

[bianca_morra]: 52:32

at

[jessicah_travis]: 52:32

what is that what

[bianca_morra]: 52:33

it

[jessicah_travis]: 52:33

is it that you're

[bianca_morra]: 52:33

i

[jessicah_travis]: 52:33

wanting just that you're not saying out loud um and and bringing bringing that in so that we can move back in flow again because i think we're magic

[bianca_morra]: 52:43

think some

[jessicah_travis]: 52:43

when we're

[bianca_morra]: 52:43

magic

[jessicah_travis]: 52:43

in flow i think we're

[bianca_morra]: 52:45

word

[jessicah_travis]: 52:45

we're dynamic

[bianca_morra]: 52:46

dynamic

[jessicah_travis]: 52:46

and we we create and

[bianca_morra]: 52:48

create

[jessicah_travis]: 52:48

we bring things into the world

[bianca_morra]: 52:51

world

[jessicah_travis]: 52:51

that need to be in the world but were when we're in inner conflict with ourselves just stock

[bianca_morra]: 52:59

ah

[jessicah_travis]: 52:59

we just we just hold back and i don't want to be

[bianca_morra]: 53:03

and

[jessicah_travis]: 53:03

there

[bianca_morra]: 53:03

i don't

[jessicah_travis]: 53:03

any

[bianca_morra]: 53:03

want

[jessicah_travis]: 53:03

more

[bianca_morra]: 53:03

to be there

[jessicah_travis]: 53:04

you know i just i

[bianca_morra]: 53:05

i

[jessicah_travis]: 53:05

feel like i lived

[bianca_morra]: 53:05

feel like i live

[jessicah_travis]: 53:06

all of those

[bianca_morra]: 53:07

all

[jessicah_travis]: 53:07

years battling with myself ather than just saying

[bianca_morra]: 53:12

do

[jessicah_travis]: 53:13

hey jess what do you

[bianca_morra]: 53:13

yes

[jessicah_travis]: 53:14

want like

[bianca_morra]: 53:15

like

[jessicah_travis]: 53:16

you enjoy i literally

[bianca_morra]: 53:17

a

[jessicah_travis]: 53:17

had to make the list you know and and i do that with my clients to we make the list what do you like to do and some of them

[bianca_morra]: 53:25

and of

[jessicah_travis]: 53:26

can't come up with it because they have they have denied

[bianca_morra]: 53:29

denied

[jessicah_travis]: 53:29

their self for so long they don't actually know anymore

[bianca_morra]: 53:34

hm

[jessicah_travis]: 53:34

so we have to kind of

[bianca_morra]: 53:36

we

[jessicah_travis]: 53:36

turn

[bianca_morra]: 53:36

have

[jessicah_travis]: 53:36

that fosset on say

[bianca_morra]: 53:38

bring that

[jessicah_travis]: 53:38

you have permission to do this i don't care if it's

[bianca_morra]: 53:41

i don't care

[jessicah_travis]: 53:42

like

[bianca_morra]: 53:42

if

[jessicah_travis]: 53:42

looking

[bianca_morra]: 53:42

it

[jessicah_travis]: 53:42

out some

[bianca_morra]: 53:43

like

[jessicah_travis]: 53:43

window

[bianca_morra]: 53:43

look

[jessicah_travis]: 53:44

and looking at flowers that's a big deal that says something about you

[bianca_morra]: 53:49

yes

[jessicah_travis]: 53:49

and you may not think it does

[bianca_morra]: 53:50

you may not

[jessicah_travis]: 53:50

but

[bianca_morra]: 53:51

think

[jessicah_travis]: 53:51

it does

[bianca_morra]: 53:51

it does

[jessicah_travis]: 53:51

it

[bianca_morra]: 53:51

but

[jessicah_travis]: 53:51

says

[bianca_morra]: 53:51

it

[jessicah_travis]: 53:51

something about you it says that you are at peace in nature let's go find more nature or might say something else

[bianca_morra]: 53:59

i

[jessicah_travis]: 53:59

but i'm just saying it's we we push that stuff down

[bianca_morra]: 54:02

push

[jessicah_travis]: 54:02

saying

[bianca_morra]: 54:02

that

[jessicah_travis]: 54:02

it has no meaning

[bianca_morra]: 54:03

has

[jessicah_travis]: 54:04

or

[bianca_morra]: 54:04

or

[jessicah_travis]: 54:04

it's not allowed

[bianca_morra]: 54:06

not allowed

[jessicah_travis]: 54:06

and

[bianca_morra]: 54:07

and

[jessicah_travis]: 54:07

i think we

[bianca_morra]: 54:08

think

[jessicah_travis]: 54:08

missed knowing ourselves

[bianca_morra]: 54:09

now

[jessicah_travis]: 54:10

at a really beautiful level

[bianca_morra]: 54:12

oh my gosh oentrilian en trillion percent

[jessicah_travis]: 54:18

oh

[bianca_morra]: 54:19

trillion percent i just feel like this conversation

[jessicah_travis]: 54:23

oh

[bianca_morra]: 54:24

is

[jessicah_travis]: 54:25

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 54:26

so needed at every phase er feel like

[jessicah_travis]: 54:31

oh

[bianca_morra]: 54:32

i find something new about myself

[jessicah_travis]: 54:33

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 54:34

every go there

[jessicah_travis]: 54:35

heh oh

[bianca_morra]: 54:41

you froze

[jessicah_travis]: 54:42

oh

[bianca_morra]: 54:42

there

[jessicah_travis]: 54:45

oh

[bianca_morra]: 54:47

chester

[jessicah_travis]: 54:49

okay see mail

[bianca_morra]: 54:53

thank you oh there you are

[jessicah_travis]: 54:55

okay my my nomadic life means

[bianca_morra]: 55:00

i

[jessicah_travis]: 55:01

that i

[bianca_morra]: 55:01

i

[jessicah_travis]: 55:02

now get

[bianca_morra]: 55:03

uh

[jessicah_travis]: 55:03

sketchy internet once now i also apologize

[bianca_morra]: 55:06

yes a welcome compromise

[jessicah_travis]: 55:07

so yeah okay so so for full circle my husband and i are literally getting lost to get found we sold

[bianca_morra]: 55:15

he

[jessicah_travis]: 55:15

our house

[bianca_morra]: 55:15

sold our house

[jessicah_travis]: 55:16

we our building

[bianca_morra]: 55:19

or building

[jessicah_travis]: 55:20

our home on the road m currently living in a trailer and we just travel and

[bianca_morra]: 55:26

and

[jessicah_travis]: 55:27

that's our life

[bianca_morra]: 55:27

that's

[jessicah_travis]: 55:27

now

[bianca_morra]: 55:28

our life

[jessicah_travis]: 55:28

and

[bianca_morra]: 55:28

now

[jessicah_travis]: 55:29

we don't have a plan

[bianca_morra]: 55:30

don't have a

[jessicah_travis]: 55:31

and it feels amazing

[bianca_morra]: 55:35

isn't that so funny

[jessicah_travis]: 55:36

ye

[bianca_morra]: 55:38

you're like it's so

[jessicah_travis]: 55:38

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 55:41

one day i looked back and i was looking

[jessicah_travis]: 55:42

oh

[bianca_morra]: 55:42

at all my work and every project i've ever done and i was like it's all about the same thing like you feel like

[jessicah_travis]: 55:49

ah

[bianca_morra]: 55:50

every chapter is so different and then you're like oh my gosh it's all the same i is

[jessicah_travis]: 55:56

i

[bianca_morra]: 55:56

all

[jessicah_travis]: 55:56

care yep

[bianca_morra]: 56:00

oh

[jessicah_travis]: 56:00

as

[bianca_morra]: 56:00

my gosh oh my gosh just this has been so listen i was not prepared for the power that was unleashed i mean i knew what was going to happen

[jessicah_travis]: 56:10

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 56:10

but i also i'm thrown

[jessicah_travis]: 56:14

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 56:14

and thrown can you tell us wait before we get your info before we leave and anything about jess will be in the show notes is there anything that you want to add is there anything left on your heart that you just want to say you know wrap up this conversation anything that you find to be the most important you know thing

[jessicah_travis]: 56:37

am you know you and

[bianca_morra]: 56:41

you

[jessicah_travis]: 56:41

i

[bianca_morra]: 56:41

know

[jessicah_travis]: 56:41

talked

[bianca_morra]: 56:41

you and i

[jessicah_travis]: 56:42

on my my podcast

[bianca_morra]: 56:43

my cast

[jessicah_travis]: 56:44

about learning about our highly sensitive self you know this this this discovery

[bianca_morra]: 56:50

mary

[jessicah_travis]: 56:50

and you know we get to

[bianca_morra]: 56:51

you

[jessicah_travis]: 56:51

those

[bianca_morra]: 56:51

know

[jessicah_travis]: 56:51

points

[bianca_morra]: 56:51

we

[jessicah_travis]: 56:52

where

[bianca_morra]: 56:52

get to

[jessicah_travis]: 56:52

we

[bianca_morra]: 56:52

the

[jessicah_travis]: 56:52

think we've learned everything

[bianca_morra]: 56:53

work

[jessicah_travis]: 56:53

about ourselves that we can learn and we realize that we're just starting right and and i think that that um not something to be afraid of it's something that is the adventure right and it might not feel really good i might get really uncomfortable but self discovery am really should just be our way of life rather than my life selling apart is time to discover myself again right but just just moving in that self discovery all the time and it ends up being a really gracious place to be our self now we take a lot of pressure off we say it's okay that we can keep changing we can keep evolving it's okay to say that no like who we are right now don't want to adjust at this point in time it's okay to say that too but leaving the door open that we're not fixed we're not liner we are energy in motion

[bianca_morra]: 57:53

energy

[jessicah_travis]: 57:54

and it's i'm no move let's discover what's there

[bianca_morra]: 58:00

i love the idea that like we don't have to wait for ship to hit the fan to just

[jessicah_travis]: 58:06

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 58:06

get curious just ask what if you know

[jessicah_travis]: 58:11

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 58:11

it's like you know what if i went home this way instead of that way today or you know you know what if

[jessicah_travis]: 58:18

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 58:18

i try something new maybe i won't like it but maybe i'll love it so much my mind will be blown right

[jessicah_travis]: 58:24

yeah one crazy little question in your day

[bianca_morra]: 58:27

there

[jessicah_travis]: 58:28

just i don't know it can change the tractor to i can't even

[bianca_morra]: 58:33

i

[jessicah_travis]: 58:33

say

[bianca_morra]: 58:33

can

[jessicah_travis]: 58:33

the word

[bianca_morra]: 58:33

say the word

[jessicah_travis]: 58:34

trajectory but

[bianca_morra]: 58:36

yes

[jessicah_travis]: 58:37

trairectory

[bianca_morra]: 58:37

that's it

[jessicah_travis]: 58:38

it can change the path we're on let's put it that

[bianca_morra]: 58:40

change

[jessicah_travis]: 58:40

way

[bianca_morra]: 58:44

oh you

[jessicah_travis]: 58:44

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 58:44

know what this is this is like if i'm ever have this wild insecurity even when look it up i swear

[jessicah_travis]: 58:52

oh

[bianca_morra]: 58:53

to i cannot figure it out jessica effect versus effect i always just the

[jessicah_travis]: 59:00

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 59:00

impact i'm like you know what this impact

[jessicah_travis]: 59:02

yeah yeah i know

[bianca_morra]: 59:07

i would

[jessicah_travis]: 59:08

it's

[bianca_morra]: 59:08

i

[jessicah_travis]: 59:08

like

[bianca_morra]: 59:08

would make it a poor to research it i still i'm reading the words and i'm like i don't get it

[jessicah_travis]: 59:15

i do that all the time

[bianca_morra]: 59:16

i do

[jessicah_travis]: 59:16

i

[bianca_morra]: 59:16

that

[jessicah_travis]: 59:17

go to record a podcast that i've written and i've written the words that i want and i cannot make my mouth do what i wanted to do and it's like okay we're going to push pause we're gonna say a different word and it'll it'll have its own effect but yeah yeah yeah exactly

[bianca_morra]: 59:34

oh my god jessica if someone is like how the hell can i be a part of juestica's world in any way shape for where would they go and what can they expect coming up from you

[jessicah_travis]: 59:48

um they can find

[bianca_morra]: 59:49

they

[jessicah_travis]: 59:49

out

[bianca_morra]: 59:49

can

[jessicah_travis]: 59:49

all

[bianca_morra]: 59:49

find

[jessicah_travis]: 59:49

the

[bianca_morra]: 59:49

out

[jessicah_travis]: 59:49

things

[bianca_morra]: 59:50

all the things

[jessicah_travis]: 59:50

that i'm doing or releasing and podcast and all of that good the fun stuff

[bianca_morra]: 59:55

wait pause

[jessicah_travis]: 59:56

m liberate

[bianca_morra]: 59:57

hold on

[jessicah_travis]: 59:57

your

[bianca_morra]: 59:57

you

[jessicah_travis]: 59:57

story

[bianca_morra]: 59:57

froze

[jessicah_travis]: 59:57

dot com you'll find two podcasts that

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:01

one

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:01

i

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:01

second

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:01

do on there

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:01

i'm going to wait for

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:02

one

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:02

you to come back

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:02

is

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:03

of course it froze

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:03

liberate

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:04

when

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:04

your

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:04

it was

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:04

story

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:04

like tell

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:04

which

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:04

me your

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:04

is

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:05

information

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:05

just me and it's quick

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:07

wait hold on there

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:08

okay

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:09

you go

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:09

are you can

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:09

you

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:09

you hear

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:09

froze

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:09

me

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:10

you froze exactly when you're like they can and then

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:14

okay um they can find

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:18

the

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:18

me at liberate your story dot

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:20

your

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:21

com and

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:23

and

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:23

my my podcasts are there

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:25

there

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:26

the work that i do with

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:27

work

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:27

clients

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:27

that i do

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:27

so if you're interested in working with me all of that is

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:30

all

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:30

on there

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:30

of that

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:30

as well

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:30

on the well

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:31

one of my podcast

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:32

one of my

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:32

is just me it's about ten minutes ten to twelve minutes that i release every week the

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:37

we

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:37

other podcast is stories which is the podcast that you're going to be on and it's human stories

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:42

stores

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:42

stories of women from all over the world

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:44

all over

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:45

sharing who they are

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:46

the

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:47

um what makes them

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:48

what

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:49

just magical so um so i have those two there

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:53

have

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:53

that

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:53

her

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:54

that's a real feel good get to know women that you i actually

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:59

might

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:59

just

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:59

actually

[jessicah_travis]: 1:00:59

connect with

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:00

connect

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:00

from afar so

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:01

far

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:01

um and i coach

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:04

i

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:04

clients one on one and then several times a year i have group coaching platforms with various topics so those just kind of come out throughout the year but

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:14

awesome

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:14

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:14

and what's

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:14

that's

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:14

your

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:15

where

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:15

instagramhandle

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:15

i met my instagram

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:18

my

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:18

handle is at jessica travis and my name is spelled

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:21

name

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:21

j

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:21

is

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:22

e s s i c a h and then t

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:25

man

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:25

r a t i s

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:27

i

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:27

so you can find me there there's

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:29

there

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:29

a link in my bio for everything you know to get to me there

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:33

there

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:34

i really enjoy

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:34

i really enjoy

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:35

instagram because

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:36

gram

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:37

it's a creator space

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:38

creator

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:39

and

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:40

and

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:40

writing and

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:41

writing

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:41

expressing

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:42

in

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:42

can happen there at least from now unless

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:45

now

[jessicah_travis]: 1:01:45

the algorithm changes but but yeah that's very mad

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:52

oh my gosh thank you so much i already am like i can't wait till you come back we will have to have you come back whenever you're launching a new program i'm just so thankful that you came on here and so powerfully shared your story with

[jessicah_travis]: 1:02:08

we

[bianca_morra]: 1:02:08

everyone i'm sure that is is going to really really help so many people

[jessicah_travis]: 1:02:14

i hope so

[bianca_morra]: 1:02:15

like so

[jessicah_travis]: 1:02:17

thank

[bianca_morra]: 1:02:17

much

[jessicah_travis]: 1:02:17

you

[bianca_morra]: 1:02:17

jessica

[jessicah_travis]: 1:02:17

for having

[bianca_morra]: 1:02:17

thank

[jessicah_travis]: 1:02:18

me

[bianca_morra]: 1:02:18

you for having me