What Else is Possible When You Take Your Pleasure Seriously? w/ Sara Cousineau

What gets to happen when you lean into what feels good rather than just dipping your toe in it?

Why do we “treat” ourselves instead of implementing what feels good & right as a standard of being?

Sometimes I feel like I'm so programmed to plug things into my life as a means to an end that I forget to enjoy something just for the sake of it. No end game. No direct benefit. Just choosing to spend time in an experience for the experience's sake.

When is the last time you did that?

For me, even going to yoga class has been implemented into my schedule as a means to wellness- not for the experience. But the more I go the more I realize the point is there is no point. “Making it through” the hour so I can rush off and be productive in my day is missing the point. I am not allowing the experience to be transformative and life giving if I am dismissing it as another box on my to do list.

Today on the show we have the amazing Sara Cousineau. Sara is a Coach/Doula/ Witness of Miracles. Through her journey, she has evolved through education & practice from an accountant into a holistic nutritionist, yoga teacher, massage therapist, meditation teacher, sex & relationship coach and birth & postpartum doula.

She coaches women who want to experience more joy, pleasure & fulfillment in their lives. Many of these women are experiencing burnout, chronic illness and or/have experienced previous trauma/abuse.  Sara shares her story, her gift, and how expansive life gets to be when we lean into pleasure as our central life force rather than a sporadic experience.

See more from Sara-

Website: www.activateecstasy.com
Instagram: @skcousineau

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Are you an artist looking to strengthen your vision & connection to your work? I'm currently working on a course for photographers on connecting to your innate vision & finding calm and trust in your ability to see in any circumstance. I believe this will redefine your photographic practice, your confidence, your work, & ultimately lead to deeper fulfillment.

If you resonate with this topic, I would LOVE to hear from you. Feel free to DM me with your thoughts/struggles/anything that comes up.

It would be so helpful in ensuring I am touching on as many points as possible in the work.

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Transcript

[bianca_morra]: 0:01

hello hello and welcome to another help me see episode today we have a very special treat we have sarah who's not

[sara]: 0:08

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 0:08

coming all the way from egypt talking to us today i am so so excited to have sarah on the show sarah and i have met recently through a magical master mind of swords under hailey car and i have just it has been a pleasure of my life to get to know sarah so i'm happy to bring her to you today sarah how are you

[sara]: 0:31

that's so sweet thank you i am wonderful and i'm so happy to be here and excited

[bianca_morra]: 0:36

eh

[sara]: 0:36

about this conversation so thank you

[bianca_morra]: 0:38

oh my

[sara]: 0:38

for

[bianca_morra]: 0:38

gosh

[sara]: 0:38

inviting me

[bianca_morra]: 0:39

i am

[sara]: 0:40

oh

[bianca_morra]: 0:40

so excited i know i just we were chatting a ittle bit before i hit the record and i was like let me just recorded because i know we're

[sara]: 0:45

uh

[bianca_morra]: 0:45

going to just get into it

[sara]: 0:48

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 0:49

today we're talking about the tendency to look outside of ourselves for the answers and

[sara]: 0:57

no

[bianca_morra]: 0:57

how long that might take and how the whole time you find yourself the most confused it's usually when you're the furthest away from yourself so sarah before we get down to the nittygritty i would love for you to let let our listeners know what it is that you you and your story beforehand and what brought you to this place because i feel like it's such an interesting nd critical part of this conversation

[sara]: 1:29

of course so i feel like i do so many things but the base piece of that is coaching and holding space for people to connect to their most authentic selves and the work that they're here and what they're hard to create in the world their visions and dreams and making those possibility and specifically the spaces that i work in now are with women around sexuality and relationships and around for because i found that those pieces have been the most transformative my experience and the studies that i've done so it's actually the opposite side of where i started i started in business school in university and i became an accountant and had a bit of an international finance career traveled around the world worked for some big international companies and then burned out and moved to the jungle on one of the small islands in awe on big island went off grid moved to the jungle some time in that spat i had already kind of been studying yoga and most of nutrition in the background because i knew that what i was doing wasn't fully my passion but after i made the switch fully i decided to go back to mesa school and i studied more of the body and anatomy and then in that time i also got really involved in meditation and helping to run meditation courses for people based on the past na and then i did the whole mentorship in sexuality and relationships and it was actually in that mentorship that i started learning about worth as well and realized it there was kind of a whole other narrative and truth to the possibilities of birth from what i had been told and what society in my view is telling us and it kind of is how i settled on those two pieces it's like sexuality and birth have the potential to be some of the most transformative empowering experiences in our lives and they also have the potential to be quite dramatic because of the lack of resources because of the way that is trade to us by society cause of all of these things that are kind of in that space now i'm in that space trying to create resources that will support women and couples and families and just offer information in space to see what's possible

[bianca_morra]: 3:55

where do i start

[sara]: 3:56

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 3:57

i know when you say that

[sara]: 3:59

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 3:59

you know sexuality and birth is this opportunity for transformation and you know i think that large it's looked at as things to get through you know like it's like okay i just have to get through the birth or okay just o god he's in the mood or she's whatever so i love this idea of turning our attention back to it as not just like a nice to have or okay let's get it over with and let's really dive deep and understand more about this but before we do that i did want to ask it kind of it opens up this whole conversation to jump from accounting to what you're doing now

[sara]: 4:37

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 4:38

obviously a very large dump

[sara]: 4:40

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 4:41

but as you as you told the story about how you started to go deeper and deeper into okay you did the yoga classes than you got into the meditation whatever so all of that is like bread crumbs where you started like kind of listening and listening and leaning in and leaning and what would you say was was the point in which you're like okay there's going to be a cut off here now like i'm going to take this step and how would you describe the process of leaning more into those whispers because i feel like uh to the out and i seeing that big jump looks like you know intimidating or you know it feels like too too much to grab but i was hoping that with your story and how you started to listen to your inner voice and your knowing of what you wanted to do that it could give our listeners some sort of something to hold on to an encouragement for how they can just lean in a little bit just in subtle ways

[sara]: 5:38

yeah absolutely and i think for me the listening started in kind of the awareness of oh like i really don't like what i'm doing so in my spare time i'm going to study able contrition and yoga all these things just to stay sane you know and

[bianca_morra]: 5:53

yeah

[sara]: 5:53

then for the final kind of the puzzle was actually my body i burned myself out actually ned up getting shingles and i was in this place of really not wanting to go to work every day and also being aware that the level at with at which i was at in terms of being an executive and people in the company i was a looking to further my career and make commitments and all these things i was like i'm just getting further along this path that really do not want to be on and i need to get out now because the further i go it's like almost the harder it's going to be because yeah i don't i've never been good at pretending and i have no interest in pretending very truthful in terms of what my truth is so from that place i was like i can't you know commit to company that i want to be with them for a year for five years for ten years and be you know that very tough level of that and make all these promises to these people about this being my vision and my dreams because as i get more and more down this path like the bottom line doesn't matter to me if it's not incorporating people if it's not incorporating joy happiness quality of life all these things so

[bianca_morra]: 7:08

isn't it so confusing

[sara]: 7:10

oh

[bianca_morra]: 7:10

though when you're so good at something how confusing

[sara]: 7:13

no

[bianca_morra]: 7:13

is that like it's like that be careful what you get

[sara]: 7:16

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 7:16

good at and that the conversation about your zona um excellence versus your zone of genius it's like

[sara]: 7:23

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 7:23

when everything but i think you had the unique experience where you felt like this felt bad i think that times it can feel like for me my last job for so long i was like well i'm really good at this and i don't hate it you know what i mean

[sara]: 7:41

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 7:41

like it's like yeah it's good it's fun but there's this very distinct unrest that kind of lies beneath the surface but i just think it's so powerful when you have the opportunity and the options to keep choosing something that quoteaquote make sense in the

[sara]: 8:02

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 8:03

mass form of making sense

[sara]: 8:05

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 8:06

but you you choose to turn away from that

[sara]: 8:09

well and i think i say it's a blessing and a curse and i don't really know at what point it shifted for me but i've gotten to a place in my body where something is not an alignment in my body and often you know sometimes i say could be like keeping mediocrity right like something is good and fine but not like it it's not great or it's not the dream or whatever it's like i get so uncomfortable in my body i have to do something about it and so that can be terrifying and i could kick and scream all the way sometimes but it's also a blessing right like i from alia to egypt and egypt is the upset of lifeand in many ways it does not comfortable to be here it is a big adjustment in many ways and yet i'm following a knowing and a calling and an intuition um where even though i was very comfortable living in paradise there was an aspect of my service and my work here in this world n my dream and my vision that i needed to make some changes to be able to fulfill

[bianca_morra]: 9:21

and what and what was that

[sara]: 9:24

what was richard piece

[bianca_morra]: 9:26

what was the the pull to egypt and how egypt was was really the opening for you to dive deeper into the work and your vision

[sara]: 9:36

absolutely so initially it was a trip with one of my mentors and then in getting here it was just the experience of everything being super expansive so it was like people reaching out to work with me it was projects becoming available it was being connected instantly to for example doctors to work with their clients as dalis here it was just like all of a sudden everything was expanding and a very yeah magic and expansive versus the place that i was in in hi there were wonderful things happening but it was also the end of a cycle feeling kind of stagnant like the place where you have to push to make things happen and that's a very different sensation than kind of being an alignment and being in your body and being able to feel being in a place where those aligned choices kind of connect to the opportunities and it all just kind of happens it happens with ease and grace and flow and it's that feminine receptivity and all things so it's also really interesting that i exploring that half of my journey and needing to be really strongly in my feminine energy in such a masculine place there's very strong primal masculine energy

[bianca_morra]: 10:52

so everything as you're saying this i am now thinking about like the compass that you used to get you to where you are now it must be totally echoed in your work like so in in your work with transformation around birth and sexuality what are what are some of the ways that you can introduce someone that kind of knows nothing about about your work how can you kind of welcome them into your world because i'm curious i don't i don't know i don't know what level of exposure listeners have to this

[sara]: 11:29

absolutely and i say there's there's kind of two aspects of it right because part of i think how we've gotten to where we are is having a really big emphasis on the mental gate in our brain and the way we think about things right so for some people if they're new to this right like an explanation that will appeal to their brain is going to be what they're able to receive about it right so so there's that aspect and then there's also the element of the body component right so i would say probably in introducing people to the concept like explaining why it's important and how aspects of this can empower them which we can go more into that in a minute and then it's also touch again to what is your current relationship with your body like do you have awareness how you're feeling even in this moment can you connect to your breast can you feel your heart beat can you feel if your nervous system is activated if you're inparenpathetic sympathetic feeling anxiety feeling you know some of these things because we've been taught and conditioned to be so shut down not have that relationship and before i will not even before going anywhere near sexuality but like those are they seem simple but like the primary even steps to be able to into the places of okay what does pleasure feel like in my body right like am i receptive am i open to receive do i even know what those sensations feel like in different parts of my body and i were not living from a place of being present in our body a lot of the time which most of us are not most of us wake up go to our brain what do i need to do today move through react to whatever happen now you know okay maybe i'm so much grading to eat maybe i need to go to the back room you know these things too that we often like push off we push off our bodily needs but connecting to your current relationship with often you're president in your body and what that relationship is like it's kind of the first step in terms of that body piece and then being able to connect that with okay what what are the thoughts that i'm having about my body the thoughts that i have about pleasure what are the thoughts that i have about sexuality these are all things that i dive deeply into with people and there's lots of layers to it and it's very individual but it really starts from a very simple place

[bianca_morra]: 14:14

a very simple place but i would say a very elusive place like i

[sara]: 14:19

hm

[bianca_morra]: 14:19

could imagine you know there are some senses of me that or even like but what does that even look like like what does that even you know sometimes i'll be in a yoga class and i'll feel like this is it this is this is it and it's like funny how it's like a blink of my day that i feel connected her other times he am yoga class where i feel like there were forty seven rabbit monkeys like clawing at my insides and i'm like in pose but i'm like i just there's so much on you know

[sara]: 14:49

oh

[bianca_morra]: 14:50

but this this shift of living from an embodied place and being connected to just what you uh before the feeling of lack like you were saying sometimes we push off our needs like eating and well whatever it is um delay that like choosing to respond i'd rather react like what does the beginning of that relationship

[sara]: 15:17

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 15:17

with yourself look like when you feel like you can't really hear yourself

[sara]: 15:24

i would say it's creating that space start to hear yourself and for everyone that looks different but it's literally like what what can you rite in because for lots of people they don't you'll have to create the space but can you create five minutes for yourself to sit by yourself and unit and for some people right even like the idea of meditating for one minute is super intimidating or inaccessible so it's like what is that next step is it like physically removing your other people and being in a room by yourself maybe with music may be going up to nature like what's that step to kind of start peeling the way way those layers maybe that's a little bit the edge of your comfort zone but that you can commit to that will allow you to be more aware of your surroundings and also tapping into that awareness like what are these elements that allow you be present in your body is it nature is at exercise is it a certain music you know what elements can you incorporate to and this is another thing i want to add to make that experience leasurable so that you want to do it right the idea of meditation and mindfulness can be like like kind of intimidating and also like meditation in some ways it's a very masculine practice if you're sitting there and not ing and doing a very solitary kind of confined practice like that what what would you be excited about creating for yourself as an experience for those the five minutes if that's all you can create up to you know as you start to do that and get into the habit and then you're like oh this feels really good and you can feel how it starts to shift things when you're like i know i have other minute like you know like maybe i just spent ten minutes to know it and it like starts to have a compound effect of of how does that shift your thought patterns your breathing your body your reactions do you have more space to make decisions from are you making decisions now from a place somewhere that's more nourished and more resourched and then what you actually choose is a different decision that a decision you might make from your brain right and that's the other thing is that i mean we we can make decision points from different areas in our body i've heard it said that we have our brain in our head we have a brain in our gut we have a brain in our heart right so it's like creating the space to start tapping into some of those things siding what feels good and what feels right to you

[bianca_morra]: 18:15

you said such a key thing in that and when you talk about not just the act of doing it but going a step further and saying how

[sara]: 18:25

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 18:25

is this pleasurable like how would this feel good and i think oftentimes

[sara]: 18:30

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 18:31

we do these things in the spirit of wellness and productivity and can get cut up and this is a means to an end or you know there are plenty of times where i'm like okay i have to do this meditation first and then i'm done and i leave it and i'm like well i didn't i didn't that was not transformative for

[sara]: 18:50

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 18:50

or but i am i'm like depending on the habit to help me get to that point where it feels pleasurable but with everything with working out with like you know sometimes eating something nutritiously oftentimes it's doing it because we know that that's what we quote quote should do and also that logically should lead to this but can you talk about how to find the pleasure within these these activities that we glaze over like you know in our every

[sara]: 19:19

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 19:19

day in our sexuality

[sara]: 19:24

absolutely and

[bianca_morra]: 19:24

oh

[sara]: 19:24

i think just briefly introducing an idea in terms of the ideas of masculine and feminine energy and we can go more into that if you want me to explain what those are but masculnand feminine energy in the world we all have our own masculine feminine energy we were to kind of compare it to the masculine is the support in the frame and the feminine is the flow when we talk about these wellness activities that are so supposed to support us right like i have friends and clients were like okay in the morning i have my check list and just kind of like you said but then they're stressed out if they don't get through you know like it just so them even more out and that's not the point so what i found is it's like we need to figure out for ourselves what the minimum level of masculine support is and that may be like putting those five minutes on your calendar and that is the structure and having a list of possible activities and the feminine flow is you going through that list and saying what feels good in my body like do i to go on a five minute walk do i want to dance do i want to lie on the floor you know and feeling into each one and having the openness to connect to your intuition and decide what's best for you in that moment because the feminine is always changing and always moving and always expanding and shifting and that's actually totally totally natural and totally now well like our desires are never going to be the same it's the beauty and often sometimes for some people the frustration of the feminine but it's like accepting that so succeeding that makes sense like how much macan support do you need and for some people who are operating highly in their masculine they might need more you know they might be like they might need the structure of okay i'm going to put those five minutes in my calendar and choose from three activities and they start introducing the feminine flow like a little bit a little bit it's uncomfortable and that's totally okay

[bianca_morra]: 21:25

yeah it's funny to think about how the it's like a muscle that needs to be worked it's just like

[sara]: 21:35

oh

[bianca_morra]: 21:36

start small and you can build up that muscle over time

[sara]: 21:40

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 21:42

so how does this translate so you before we go further you have a new program coming

[sara]: 21:50

do

[bianca_morra]: 21:50

out right can you talk a little bit about that because i think that that very naturally fits in here and the framework of what you're doing and just explaining how you're helping people just access this this part of themselves

[sara]: 22:06

yeah absolutely so it's an eight week program and it's based on four pillars and the pillars are your body your sexuality your femininity and your pleasure and the reason eight weeks is because the first week with each pillar is going to be content based in hearing about some of these concepts for the first time understanding what you've internalized from society from your amy from trauma and what's true for you right now and doing the work around okay what's required to shift where you want to go and then the second week with that pillar is actually going o be an embodied of experience of potentially a dance or a somatic movement or a meditation practice or something to ground you in your body as a group guided to start connecting you to that place where you have your inner knowing and you're able start feeling like oh you know i notice this or i can actually feel this emotion in my body or like this story that i have about sexual identity is tied for restored in this memory stored in this place so it's a combination of the teachings and the actual practices which they will actually be practiced as well for people to do on their own but then have kind of the group supported guided ones every other week as well to move through these spaces where you can start to have the knowing in both your brain because that's what we're used to in your body and between those experiences hopefully start to land some of these concepts and see where you're at these things for yourself

[bianca_morra]: 23:44

and how i would imagine that it takes some to to the degree in which you're removed from this concept it takes some on boarding right so

[sara]: 23:59

ye

[bianca_morra]: 23:59

how would you describe some of the benefits of being more connected sexually to your pleasure

[sara]: 24:08

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 24:08

and and how to shift that mindset from you know something that is just like a means to an end or a tour or now having an identity of well i can't achieve this so that's fine that's just the life i live you know

[sara]: 24:25

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 24:25

like what does that look like

[sara]: 24:29

yeah well for me honestly our sexual energy is our life force energy it's creation so for men and women like for men masculine energy and when i say masculine i'm using that as a descriptor so that energy is like a penetrating force it's logical it's practical it gets things done so for men their connection to their sexual energy is very much tied to what they're creating in the world and for women to that masculine aspect of them that's how that's fulfilled and the feminine side is the receptivity the ability to magnetize your desires to you right the feminine is literally it receives the penetration from the mast anatomically and if not you know figuring out all the details so you can say that the mass is more veneer and logical brain based on the feminine is more feeling and flow n some of those things so the other thing to note is that we live in highway masculized world right and we've put so much value on masculine attributes we put value on accomplishment getting things done on milestones on all of these things and for many people that's kind of what they set out with their lives to do right they want to achieve certain things they have goals it's not actually until they start moving through these achievements and these goals that then they might be like didn't actually bring me the happiness through the joy or the peace through the now like i have the money i have the job and that was kind of where i was at some extent too i think that that led to my burn where it wasn't fulfilling it was like susan we what is it and not having that connection to your sexuality and your essence and your core it can be really tied to that emptiness and so for me getting people back into their bodies getting connected to their life force energy and for women whether that's creating family and babies or projects or businesses communities are like we need to be in this creative process and if we're not there's stagnancy there's illness there's depression there's so many kind of side effects that i think we as a society have blamed on other things potentially but in my work i've seen that coming back to these things it's really an answer for a lot a lot of these problems that we don't have answers for

[bianca_morra]: 27:05

yeah it's you know you talk about the getting to the milestone and getting to the achievement and

[sara]: 27:12

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 27:12

not feeling like you thought it would and how we put so much emphasis on that but but really it's everyone you know it's like cliche at this point to say it's about the journey not the destination but like we're not really living that like we're not because we don't have the words for it really i don't think that there's a lot of um i don't think it's really easy to pin point and use words to describe such transcendent experiences like know i went on a walk today and i was looking at the water and the breeze you know went through my hair and i just felt like ethereal or whatever it was you know it is

[sara]: 27:54

m

[bianca_morra]: 27:54

not in our d n a or in or not that's the wrong word but it's not in our culture to pin point something like that and use it as a talking point it's like what did you get done today you know like

[sara]: 28:04

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 28:04

it's so there's this inherent disconnect and i think it was on on your your website or something from you where you had said something about how the way linking your way you orgasm to your how you're living life is that is that it what you're saying

[sara]: 28:23

as a barometer for your quality of life yes

[bianca_morra]: 28:26

yes

[sara]: 28:26

and also

[bianca_morra]: 28:26

yes

[sara]: 28:27

just i wanted to add into right like what you said shared about that moment it's like also

[bianca_morra]: 28:32

yeah

[sara]: 28:33

in centring that experience and your ability to rest see sensations of that experience in your body like that's directly linked to your ability to receive money in this world as well and like receptivity is not just for example being able to receive sally is related to being able to receive money as well and being able to receive in all the different aspects so we've severe segregated like all of these different topics into silos and they're not separate they're the same so it's like for women for example can't orgasm right there's often there are places where they're having challenges in their lives and maybe they feel stuck in their job maybe they're having problems in their relationship but you know there it's never just one space by sexuality in that space around texture they can be an amazing indicator of what are things that i can work on or how can i improve that connection and then you see all the other areas that your life can prove as well

[bianca_morra]: 29:30

so for someone that would okay so as an example for someone that would be like okay

[sara]: 29:35

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 29:35

i'm having trouble receiving you know monetarily or achievement in some masculine

[sara]: 29:41

okay

[bianca_morra]: 29:42

you know career way um so based on what you're saying uh if if instead of pushing harder like in that direction i'm thinking of the fly

[sara]: 29:55

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 29:55

just a story about a fly it's the whole thing

[sara]: 29:58

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 29:59

instead of pushing

[sara]: 29:59

ye

[bianca_morra]: 30:00

in that direction if someone turned their attention more to you know maybe their sex life and pleasure and you know their walks in the park placing more focus there is this saying that you would be able to have experience ease in the other area

[sara]: 30:21

to some extent yes

[bianca_morra]: 30:22

yeah

[sara]: 30:22

i would say focusing on how are they receiving in every other area of their life like if someone gives them a compliment what's their response you know like are they open to that or do they kind of turn it down and reject the compliment if someone is trying to help them do they accept that health because that's all related and then go on a step further like it would be looking at the bolas under that whether there's self worth stuff going on whether there's body stuff so there can be lots of layers to that but in general yes

[bianca_morra]: 30:52

oh

[sara]: 30:52

i would say that if someone is wanting to steve paris at work for example if they were then to one thing and focus on their self pleasure practice or focus on the pleasure they were having with their partner and increase that exponentially then they would see everything shift and also things that work and the amount of money they were receiving would increase as well

[bianca_morra]: 31:17

it's just so crazy how interconnected everything is and it's only when we turn our attention to it that we're able to see it in a million different places like someone asked me a question once about it was an intuitive strategy call and she's like asked me if i issues with self worth and i immediately i was like no like i just blazed through it i was like no like it just didn't resonate and in a very surface level way like it wasn't a very obvious thing for me and then

[sara]: 31:49

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 31:49

four weeks i was noticing all of the ways and i was like oh my gosh like it didn't even occur to me in the slightest bit for my whole life and then i was able to start seeing it so i think that this conversation in itself could be so powerful because even if you know you don't identify as someone that's

[sara]: 32:15

oh

[bianca_morra]: 32:15

you know striving or

[sara]: 32:17

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 32:17

craving to lean into this area of your life i think just having the awareness now and leaving this conversation you might be able to start seeing and uncovering some things that you didn't see before

[sara]: 32:31

ah and i think there's another element of it too where it's like we don't even know what we don't know right so it's like when people are thinking about sex oftentimes they're like okay you know like maybe some people most people have sex like once a month through once a year it's not really big deal and a lot of and the messaging and information out there there's lots of women who aren't organising or aren't having positive experiences during sex so it's like why why would i care and to start like that's why one of our focuses in my program because their pleasure to start talking about like okay the orgasms that most people know about the patoral orgasms are actually like only the top of the iceberg and there are so many other types of experiences that are life changing and so pleasurable and just like if someone had this experience they went it's all they would want to do for like you know like it it's an experience that you have to have that i would love everyone to have but these things where it's like totally understandable why it's hard to understand the significance and the importance until you start doing this work and you have these experiences in your body and you feel the embody pace you feel the peace you feel the joy you feel your heart breaking open you feel like it's a totally different way of being and i think it's absolutely necessary to be the fullest expression of yourself connect to that part and so for people who are wanting to live that path of truth that path of authenticity you know that path of service and sole expression it's like it's a require meant to go there and it's not and go back to this like pleasure is actually a requirement you know to fill your potential and to expand and to for me in some ways i believe it's past to enlightenment which is not the goal because there's no goal but it's just if not even not an option at

[bianca_morra]: 34:37

yeah

[sara]: 34:38

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 34:38

there is no goal like isn't that the point of pleasure is that there is

[sara]: 34:41

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 34:41

no goal it's pleasure for pleasure's sake and you know in a million different other areas of our lives it's so natural for us to i want to go beyond like not just scratch the surface like the tip of the iceberg like oh if you love this ice cream you'll really love this ice cream or oh if you love the coast of california should really go to you know new zealand i don't know just it's so natural to be like oh you like this let's go deeper here let's go deeper here

[sara]: 35:08

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 35:09

but now what's what's interesting is that in those conversations oftentimes it's contained it's still contained within a very specific structure so it's like oh i'm it's the weekend so i'm really going to push the envelope because this is my two days of freedom and then i have my work week starting again you know what i mean there's just this different these different containers of like oh you love this area well maybe next year on your vacation you can go here but it's like recognizing all of the different ways in which pleasure is available to us at all times and not having to put it so far and plan it as like these rewards or these distant little sparkles in our lives and really intertwining it into our every every day as it's possible it's it's it's really important and not just like a nice to have

[sara]: 36:14

yeah and it's it's so important to cultivate that connection with your body to be able to know like in this moment what would give me pleasure what do i want like what do i want to be drinking where do i want to be sitting what and i be wearing you know like what light do i want because i feel like we often make these choices so many times out of convenience or out of what we think is practical or you know like what we thin its healthy all of these different kind of labels and stories and cultivating the connection with your body you actually get really in touch with like actually divel for these fabrics and i enjoy drinking this and it really hydrates my body and it's like you get so intuned with all these things that you're living from this space being so connected and nourished and it's also so much healthier or you as well because the whole nother conversation but in terms of what putting into our body like that disconnect has created a big challenge because some of the things that we think should give us pleasure right like maybe you know for example let's say like a piece of chocolate cake or something right there's a way that we could eat a whole chocolate cake and not have any satisfaction there's a way that we could eat a slice of really high quality chocolate cake and be present and enjoy that experience and feel so satiated and delicious and just full from that experience that we don't what anymore right like we want to go do the next thing so our connection to our body and to what actually is pleasure and how that feels in our body um can be different from what we think and cultivating that connection is essential to kind of move into that place

[bianca_morra]: 38:07

totally customizing your experience in life it's you know and change channeling that into what's most pleasurable for you is just as natural obvious thing that gets overlooked like we think about when you get your phone and it's on factory settings of course you're going to make it the way you like it like you're going to

[sara]: 38:28

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 38:28

organize it the way you like it you're going to like ortiz the apes that you like you know you don't just accept most things in your life as the default way but it seems like the most default things that we come to know in the standards are the biggest things the most important things

[sara]: 38:45

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 38:45

which is so insane um can you describe some of the experiences of of your clients that have gone through done this work and like just some of the feedback that they've experienced benefiting from your from your education

[sara]: 39:03

so for some peoplei mean the favorite messages i get are just like i just had the best sex organism of my life and like okay we'll go back to that

[bianca_morra]: 39:13

yeah

[sara]: 39:14

but it makes me so happy but so yes i mean physical experiences more permission to release connect to and step into their desires and their power and what they're wanting to create for some people it's switching there jobs and picking something that's closer to their heart and more of a passion for some people it's calling in the relationship of their dreams for some people it's making more money at work because they opened their channels of receipt tivity so it's really across the board for some people it's being more comfortable in their body and shifting their body mass to something that's better suited to their frame for some people it's increased self confident some people it's like all of those different things so really like the way i would describe it and just going back to it to what you said at the very beginning in terms of my journey through yoga and meditation and all of these things i think what i realized is that for some people there is going to be you know no ga pose that maybe that changes their life right or for some people on meditation practice that it just really lights up their brain is like doing new thing this is it and it shifts everything and when it comes to sexuality or me it feels like for every single person who does this work it's been transformational and life changing so obviously each person has their own stories and stuff and for some people trauma and things to kind of move through but ultimately showing up and being president doing that work always shifts things in an expansive and healing way

[bianca_morra]: 41:04

yeah sorry you cut out your

[sara]: 41:09

no

[bianca_morra]: 41:10

you're i hear i hear

[sara]: 41:11

oh

[bianca_morra]: 41:12

is your

[sara]: 41:13

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 41:13

base or i lost your face i wanted to say i totally lost where i was going with after that experience of your clients wait till i can see your face again this a little sad little s

[sara]: 41:37

no

[bianca_morra]: 41:39

you're okay you're okay

[sara]: 41:40

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 41:41

it'll come back it happened before and it comes back it came back quickly

[sara]: 41:44

a

[bianca_morra]: 41:44

um m m what it's still recording audio is fine what would you say oh that's what i wanted to say that's why i was like permission you said the word permission

[sara]: 42:02

oh my

[bianca_morra]: 42:03

and that is such a big that was one of the words that kind

[sara]: 42:08

my

[bianca_morra]: 42:08

of clicked me on in a different way last year actually so even in my craft of taking photographs of people and i have this really deep desire to show them something very true about themselves and kind of remove that guard remove the performance aspect of it and some one once told me that oh you give permission for someone to be present in their life and it felt i had a very weird reaction to it it felt like who am i to give permit i don't get everyone of course everyone has mission i don't need to be the one to give permission to someone like that's weird it made me uncomfortable for a moment but then i just kept thinking about it like it's so true when you create a space and a container for someone and you just become a stand for a very specific experience there's a very natural ah very natural flow to that so when someone is looking for direction for what to do during a photo session instead of giving a formula giving a pose that creates a templatized sort of aspect i always work to because of the type of work that i do ask them a question

[sara]: 43:31

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 43:31

then just lead them into themselves and lead them into a place where they're more in their body and in their heart than worrying about the camera in front of them and it seems like that is an essential part of your teach in your coaching is just like and there is no templatized version there's no recipe it's very individualistic it's like what feels good for you o that feels good well how does that open how do we open more into that how do we open more into that and it's just so it's just mind blowing how i can see a million different ways in it's your work has like these parallel lanes in all areas of life and it's so simple it's like what feels good what feels good

[sara]: 44:20

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 44:20

you have permission to go deeper into that whatever that is

[sara]: 44:27

exactly actly

[bianca_morra]: 44:29

h

[sara]: 44:29

and that's so powerful

[bianca_morra]: 44:29

h

[sara]: 44:30

because there's also i mean specifically around these topics as well

[bianca_morra]: 44:34

m

[sara]: 44:34

so much shame and blame and judgment so it's like we're moving all of that

[bianca_morra]: 44:40

yes

[sara]: 44:41

and being where you're at and being totally present and accepting and loving

[bianca_morra]: 44:48

yeah

[sara]: 44:49

from that place feeling into oh how can i open even more how can i be more in my heart what does feel good and how can me expand that what else is possible

[bianca_morra]: 45:01

what else is possible that is should that be like the title what else

[sara]: 45:06

oh

[bianca_morra]: 45:06

is possible i love that m

[sara]: 45:10

ah

[bianca_morra]: 45:10

can you just give us a like for those of us at r listen they're like tell me more

[sara]: 45:15

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 45:16

can you let people know more about the logistics of the program like when it's happening or just other ways in which they can find you and be a part of your work at

[sara]: 45:26

yes absolutely i'm just looking at the calendar so this is an eight week program for women and we meet once a week starting october sixteenth and it will go i will be

[bianca_morra]: 45:37

i

[sara]: 45:37

to december fourth and we'll be meeting

[bianca_morra]: 45:39

yeah

[sara]: 45:40

on sundays on zoom will be seventy five minute sessions three thirty eastern standard time so we'll have people from all over the world

[bianca_morra]: 45:48

yeah

[sara]: 45:49

that was the best choice for

[bianca_morra]: 45:52

ah

[sara]: 45:52

as many time zones as possible and if you can't make all the sessions totally okay they'll be recorded we'll have a facebook group where you're supported through the whole way um and other than that if being in a group or the timing doesn't work for you right now i also take one client so you can just over to the website which as that link so that you can give it to you well um and contact me for more information on what it looks like to with one one

[bianca_morra]: 46:22

amazing and you know i just have to say i always have to comment on the community aspect of things because i am i want to say a recovering hermit i'm still a hermit i'm in my basement

[sara]: 46:32

oh

[bianca_morra]: 46:32

right now but i was just someone i'm such an introvert and i was like that token person that was like in a group project and like i'll sign your name to it's fine i'm gonna do it myself and so the community aspect of these programs that i've been part of never really was the thing that drew me but honestly it has been the most powerful aspect of all of this work of being able to just see people that are not me and are not my you know immediate friends and family that i connect with even more so because it's just like there's this intangible uh connection point where all of these people from all of these walks of life and places and spaces find their way to these very central soul driven initiatives and projects and missions and just being able to witness other people's experiences and to know you're not alone in that and to all that love and support has been so game changing so i just had to throw that out there in case anyone's like a group environment with this conversation um i promise it's like the most amazing amazing experience and i just had to throw that in there i mean it's how

[sara]: 47:53

and

[bianca_morra]: 47:53

i was led to you

[sara]: 47:55

exactly and it gives like we're just taking about permission it gives

[bianca_morra]: 47:58

yeah

[sara]: 47:59

permission like being in that group right like being one on one you can have one on one support and sometimes you know that's a better place to serve or if they're dealing with something specific i also offer additional one and one support in this group grim as well if someone's

[bianca_morra]: 48:14

oh

[sara]: 48:14

wanting

[bianca_morra]: 48:14

perfect

[sara]: 48:14

that additional layer but being in the group like you said you see other people's experience s mirror you learn from their questions you learn from their experience to connect them you celebrate each other like it feels so good and there's an aspect of being in feminine energy and gathering as women that's so important

[bianca_morra]: 48:35

m

[sara]: 48:35

as well because

[bianca_morra]: 48:37

oh

[sara]: 48:37

we have we have sister wounding we have competition with other women we have some of these things that've been established and it's so healing to be part of spaces where that's not present or it's actively healing thing

[bianca_morra]: 48:52

yeah you know and it makes so much sense because everything that we're talking about it's this uncovering its just pulling off all of the layers that a society a society in a large scale has like overtime later on about like all the shouts and all of the quote unquote normals um so welcoming yourself into a world in which that is not so normalizes even more for you so it's like i you know between all the podcasts i listened to and all the groups have been a part of now it almost feels like i've gotten to the point where these conversations are just as normal it's not like i felt in the beginning i felt like oh my gosh i have this little secret underground universal what i like to speak easy is like a speak easy of like my heart and soul and like what i really want to be true for the world versus like my whole life of like this narrative and being able to immerse myself and surround myself with people that share share this this heart and this oh all of these things they now feel very equal to each other and i think that's very helpful it's very helpful to create that normal for yourself you are in control of creating your reality you can create the reality in which you want to exist and i've done that in joining these communities creating communities and connecting with people that feel inclined to these topics and these visions that i feel inclined to so that a

[sara]: 51:24

i lost you

[bianca_morra]: 51:25

you're good you're good i was just saying that where did you leave i don't remember where you lost me

[sara]: 51:33

you were saying something about it being a speak easy for your soul yeah

[bianca_morra]: 51:38

yes no this you're like i remembered what you're saying because it was weird uh no it's this idea that you know sometimes in the beginning can feel like what you're yearning for is like in this competition with like social norms that feel and it feels so it's like this little glimmer of like but i want this to be true versus like your outer reality experience but when you

[sara]: 52:08

yea

[bianca_morra]: 52:08

lean into these communities that you really connect with and you find more and you listen to podcast about it and you just like really lean into that your experience like your reality of what you want to be true grows right so then you're

[sara]: 52:24

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 52:24

at a point it's like well this is like an apple and a banana it's not like a grain of sand and a water melon it's like okay i recognize that a lot of reality looks like this but my all i choose to look like this it's just one of the many benefits of like welcoming yourself into group experiences and leaning into programs like the one you're offering sarah

[sara]: 52:51

yeah and like like we said before i think to learning from all of the women as well

[bianca_morra]: 52:56

yes

[sara]: 52:57

from you know if there's men to it's like okay if you have a desire to be more connected to your sexuality our sensuality to be having more pleasure all of these things like putting yourself in environment where everyone's focusing on that everyone prioritizes that you pick up so much

[bianca_morra]: 53:14

yeah

[sara]: 53:14

and you shift just by em and entering into the state

[bianca_morra]: 53:17

yes yeh totally yeah i've said i was once on a call with you and our other friend jessica and it just felt so good for me to be a call with two people one you were at this point moving to egypt and justice just traveling everywhere in r v and i was like i have never even left the country like it just so good to like like this is this is a normal for many people like so anyway it's it's a world opener to be able to welcome yourself into to a space with all of these different people so oh sarah i lost her again m yeah oh yeah that's okay we were i'm so glad it happened at the very end of our converse so i'm just gonna i'll just run up with asking where people can find you so sarah thank you so much for being here and this i hope this unique conversation is a world opener for everyone listening and if they want to follow you along where can people fine g yes so any any of these links will be in the show notes so thank you again sarah yeah