Your Voice Matters with Alison Newman

Your voice, your story, your heart. It matters greatly- in this very moment & in every moment.

Not "only when you are more prepared". Not "only when the stars are aligned". Now.

Alison Newman is a singer, songwriter, and podcast host on The Art of Being a Mum. She is a powerful advocate for challenging cultural norms, and giving voice to so many. In this episode we talk about the power that every single person holds in their truth and how waiting for an ideal time to follow your heart or tell your story isn't always ideal.

*postpartum depression is referenced in this episode.

More from Alison-
https://www.alisonnewman.net/podcast
https://www.instagram.com/art_of_being_a_mum_podcast/
https://www.instagram.com/alison_newman_vocalist/

More from Bianca:
www.biancaleamorra.com

Monthly Membership: Nostalgia, Now.

IG:
@biancaleamorra
https://www.instagram.com/biancaleamorra/

@helpmesee_podcast
https://www.instagram.com/helpmesee_podcast/

Transcript

[bianca_morra]: 0:01

hello hello and welcome to another episode of help me see today is a special day we have alice and newman newman on the podcast alice i have

[alison_newman]: 0:13

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 0:13

been a guest on alison's podcast recently rather recently and it was just a pleasure of my life so i'm so excited to have her here welcome allison

[alison_newman]: 0:28

thank you it's my pleasure to be on your

[bianca_morra]: 0:30

so

[alison_newman]: 0:30

podcast

[bianca_morra]: 0:30

awesome

[alison_newman]: 0:31

this is

[bianca_morra]: 0:31

so

[alison_newman]: 0:31

awesome

[bianca_morra]: 0:32

alison has the art of being a mompodcast and i will i will hand it over to her to kind of talk about what that podcast is about even though it's self explanatory but just really the origin of it how it came to be um and then we'll just go from there

[alison_newman]: 0:55

well yes so the art of being a mom or the art of being a mom if you want to clarified for everyone in the

[bianca_morra]: 1:01

yes

[alison_newman]: 1:01

world not just australians and english people

[bianca_morra]: 1:04

m

[alison_newman]: 1:04

so yeah i chat to thers who are creative or artists and that's not limited to sort of visual art or music or or you know painters anybody that creates anything so i've had business owners i've had people who've you know made things that you might not necessarily think

[bianca_morra]: 1:26

yes

[alison_newman]: 1:27

artist so i believe everybody is artistic so pretty much anybody anybody that does anything is using some sort of creativity to make things work so yeah i had this idea that during the lock down we had a few lockdowns over here but during one of them in particular my husband was working from home my children were at home and i was finding it really i was finding my space really squeezed my creativity was like literally the space that i had to work in was getting small and small because these other people in my house and i i went out for coffee one day and i was just driving along all this you know how things just hit you like you get like a spark it was like how are other mothers doing this like how is how how collectively is society continuing to

[bianca_morra]: 2:21

how is the world

[alison_newman]: 2:21

do what we

[bianca_morra]: 2:22

still

[alison_newman]: 2:22

have to do

[bianca_morra]: 2:22

spinning

[alison_newman]: 2:23

and

[bianca_morra]: 2:23

right

[alison_newman]: 2:23

create

[bianca_morra]: 2:23

now

[alison_newman]: 2:24

you know and mother and the house clean like all these things it was literally i just went how is this happening so i started asking people and then as i was asking in my thought you know what if i'm interested in this maybe other people are interested in this so i thought right i'm going to record it i've got all this recording gear because write music and record so i've got all the stuff it's like it's sitting here i may as well be using it i started reaching out to mom's who were in the music industry because i thought ease myself in gently i've never done anything like this before let's talk to some people i know and in areas that i'm familiar and conversing in and then from there it just basically just where o mouth like you now through the socials mostly instagram my main platform um and i just i just hunt people down by hash tags basically like creative artistic all this sort of stuff mom identity all this sort of stuff and i just message people and say hey i'm this podcast you want to come on and pretty much everyone would say yes the only people that have said no are people who perhaps question themselves in their creative ability so i had some people say i'm not a i don't i'm not creative i'm not the person that you want to so i'm like that's okay that's you know that's something that you're you're holding in your head or heart but i can see you are so that's why i asked you but that's okay i don't ever force anyone you know i have people i've been back to a couple of times just to give them a nudge nd then they have come on and they've been very pleased that they did so but it's just like i just think it's so important to like my motto is like it doesn't matter if you got you know one follower or a million followers like no one is more worthy than anyone else to have their story shared you know we're all in this mothering thing together we're all just been lumped in and we're feeling our way through and finding our way in most sort of supportive thing i find is that everybody is feeling the same way you know we're all struggling we've all got things we're not sure of we all have questions about mom guilt and identity how we're supposed to feel are we allowed to complain about this you know should be be so grateful that we have children and we never complain so it's breaking down these sort of cultural norms i suppose which is one of my favorite things to do and question things and say why do we feel like this you know is it because of the way we were raised our parents our mothers felt like they couldn't complain so we got condition to this or is it something coming from outside of society putting on us this guilt trip and so i find i love talking to people anyway because i'm always really fascinated about why people do what they do i work in early childhood education and i'm always fascinated why kids do what they do so i'm sort of always i'm always looking deep for things and i know you're the same it's like you can't just accept things for face value there's always got to be a reason for something happening so i love doing that with my guests and you know people are i had a really lovely comment the other day i do a couple of father's day episodes each year just for a bit of fun you know something a bit different and steve davis who i had on who's an interviewer himself who creates podcast as well he said that i got under his skin but he shared more things that he would usually share so i was like that isn't awesome um thing to hear you know that's awesome i'm glad i do that because that's what i want to do

[bianca_morra]: 6:04

i could

[alison_newman]: 6:04

you

[bianca_morra]: 6:04

agree

[alison_newman]: 6:04

know

[bianca_morra]: 6:04

with that i could attest to that

[alison_newman]: 6:06

m

[bianca_morra]: 6:11

why do you think i mean

[alison_newman]: 6:14

h

[bianca_morra]: 6:15

i just love that you had this thought then you actually did it like

[alison_newman]: 6:21

oh

[bianca_morra]: 6:21

you actually how many episodes

[alison_newman]: 6:23

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 6:23

have you done now so far

[alison_newman]: 6:27

yeah i think well the sixty third ones coming out

[bianca_morra]: 6:32

hm

[alison_newman]: 6:33

this week but i've got probably half a dozen

[bianca_morra]: 6:36

yeah

[alison_newman]: 6:36

you know sitting there to roll out so yeah so july last year i reckon it was july me like it started and yeah i had a bit of a break over christmas

[bianca_morra]: 6:47

yeah

[alison_newman]: 6:48

just i thought maybe not everyone would be in listening mode but then i thought you know i'll just i'll keep pumping him out so pret much every week

[bianca_morra]: 6:57

oh

[alison_newman]: 6:57

m yeah i need that though like i need something to do and if i'm not doing my singing because that can't be on going all the time i'm sort of stop and start a little bit with this album i'm doing and i need to do something i can't not do something that's just my mentality pose

[bianca_morra]: 7:18

can you speak about this this

[alison_newman]: 7:20

ah

[bianca_morra]: 7:21

craving to to connect over

[alison_newman]: 7:24

you

[bianca_morra]: 7:24

this i know you said that like it's like i can't be the only one i can't be like it's like you're driving around and the world is still spinning and you're feeling like i don't even know like your skin is going to fall off it's like what um

[alison_newman]: 7:42

m

[bianca_morra]: 7:43

and just talk

[alison_newman]: 7:44

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 7:44

about that yeah personally for me in having the conversations that i have

[alison_newman]: 7:50

so

[bianca_morra]: 7:51

i feel almost

[alison_newman]: 7:52

so he

[bianca_morra]: 7:53

surprised but not surprised that every time i make a genuine connection with someone and i have those conversations that are deeper than surface level i

[alison_newman]: 8:03

oh

[bianca_morra]: 8:03

get rubbed up and excited and shocked every time but

[alison_newman]: 8:06

a

[bianca_morra]: 8:06

it's not shocking that way i'll relate so deeply to each other but why are we always so shocked by it

[alison_newman]: 8:16

yeah that's really interesting it blows my mind the fact we've got social media now we're meant to be more connected than everybody but we still not you know what i mean like we still don't know what's going on and i think i feel like there's a lot of um what's the word people don't want to share honestly i think people feel like they're going to be judged and i've had a lot of issues and background with mental wellness and mental health issues and the best thing i've ever done this talk about them because it gives someone else the ability then to say it's not just me maybe i can talk about this you know it helps roll it along so i've gotten over any sort of fear wearing what people think for me and that came through with my singing to like for many years i used to sing in groups and as a soloist would perform and be judged and critique so i've spent my life been judged people telling me what they think of me and i just don't care like i just think it's more of a reflection on the person that's giving that feedback or giving that response than what it is about me i just want people share this stuff and not be afraid i guess that's how i feel like this this podcast can give people and you're the same like you give people the opportunity to share as much or as little as they wish but i feel like just by doing that some one else that hears that and then goes okay so that's normal maybe i can talk about this so then they talk about it and then someone else has it so it rolls on and rolls on and rolls on because we're not going to change things if we don't talk about them you know it's the way i sort of say it is like i don't know you can go

[bianca_morra]: 10:11

it's

[alison_newman]: 10:11

out

[bianca_morra]: 10:11

a

[alison_newman]: 10:11

and protest about things or whatever whatever thing

[bianca_morra]: 10:14

is

[alison_newman]: 10:14

is you're passionate about you can get on the street and do your thing and that's really good in that moment but then if you don't continue with that whatever it is whatever is passionate to i feel like lots and lots of tiny little actions snowball up and create change because there certainly is this generation of women mothers are really vocal i don't know you guys over there like there's been a lot of issues we've seen in the media

[bianca_morra]: 10:43

m

[alison_newman]: 10:43

over here that you guys have had i don't know just have your voices heard i suppose we just we have we have to do something you know what i mean it's like i've just i i get frustrated about things not changing but then it's like if you don't if you don't do something nothing changes so that's sort of where i come from

[bianca_morra]: 11:05

yeah

[alison_newman]: 11:06

yes

[bianca_morra]: 11:06

i mean i think that it makes me kind of go back to what you said in passing in the beginning that i also strongly agree with how you said you believe everyone is an artist and whatever they're doing is a form of their art it's not

[alison_newman]: 11:23

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 11:23

you know some people have a hard time relating to the word creative or artist but i do believe that it's really anyone and anything it's just

[alison_newman]: 11:32

oh

[bianca_morra]: 11:33

what is that

[alison_newman]: 11:33

oh

[bianca_morra]: 11:33

thing for you

[alison_newman]: 11:35

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 11:35

and i think this idea of giving voice and encouraging the sharing of it um is tied really strongly with this idea at least for me that i'm not it doesn't have to be someone

[alison_newman]: 11:49

i

[bianca_morra]: 11:49

that has

[alison_newman]: 11:50

a

[bianca_morra]: 11:50

you know is that the top of their amount everest and knows what they're doing like i find so much power value and honestly more so in the things that aren't

[alison_newman]: 12:02

oh

[bianca_morra]: 12:02

flushed out

[alison_newman]: 12:03

yes

[bianca_morra]: 12:03

yet

[alison_newman]: 12:04

all

[bianca_morra]: 12:04

something

[alison_newman]: 12:04

right

[bianca_morra]: 12:04

that i've and

[alison_newman]: 12:07

m

[bianca_morra]: 12:07

wrestling with lately is this idea that i've been doing some very deep work on myself in many different ways but just the other week i had like a punch

[alison_newman]: 12:19

oh

[bianca_morra]: 12:20

in the face from the universe when

[alison_newman]: 12:22

a

[bianca_morra]: 12:22

i realized some like co dependent

[alison_newman]: 12:25

a

[bianca_morra]: 12:25

tendency i've had my whole life and i've never resonated with that word ever and i realized

[alison_newman]: 12:30

i

[bianca_morra]: 12:31

it's because the only conversations i've had about that

[alison_newman]: 12:34

he

[bianca_morra]: 12:35

were the more like severe very blatant like surface like obvious type of behavior old things and whatever and just like always let it glaze past me but someone had said a brief aside of you know something and reference to co dependency and was like a yeah that's me like i was

[alison_newman]: 13:00

he

[bianca_morra]: 13:01

like oh my god

[alison_newman]: 13:01

m

[bianca_morra]: 13:01

i like whirled me around and then i've just ever since i've just been really just falling into this thought about how

[alison_newman]: 13:09

you

[bianca_morra]: 13:09

important it is for people and me and whoever

[alison_newman]: 13:15

oh

[bianca_morra]: 13:16

to not just sit and wait until they feel like they have something good enough to say

[alison_newman]: 13:20

the

[bianca_morra]: 13:21

you know like something polished enough or something that feels

[alison_newman]: 13:24

no

[bianca_morra]: 13:24

like i have all of all of the background story perfectly articulated i think that there's so much value in getting out and just talking about what lights you up and what pisces you off and what whatever it is

[alison_newman]: 13:39

h

[bianca_morra]: 13:40

because it breathes this power into

[alison_newman]: 13:42

m

[bianca_morra]: 13:43

other people so it's not just the people that are winning grammes or whatever that you hear talking it's

[alison_newman]: 13:49

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 13:49

it's people that feel a little bit more in your reach

[alison_newman]: 13:57

yeah i think that's two people that they're relatable

[bianca_morra]: 14:00

yeah

[alison_newman]: 14:00

and they're in your space like um when you said they're about waiting till you're ready i had a lady that was going to my podcast and she wanted to wait a little bit longer i can't remember the reasoning but the sense that i got was that um m i'm not i don't know but i said to her look you do it when you're ready that's okay but i sort of feel like

[bianca_morra]: 14:27

ye

[alison_newman]: 14:28

the whole idea of this to do it right now you know

[bianca_morra]: 14:33

yeah

[alison_newman]: 14:33

because motherhood wherever you are in motherhood you're going to have all these different stages that are going to change and going to be challenging in their own way and it's like you in the trenches now with the new born if you're capable of sharing now that is going to help someone right there's nothing bad about that you know what i mean like you don't have to wait till your baby sleeps through the night or you don't have to wait till their body train you know what i mean there doesn't have to be this in goal before it's time ou share what you want to share if that makes sense

[bianca_morra]: 15:10

m

[alison_newman]: 15:10

um yeah i don't know ve been saying a lot of quotes lately about i feel a bit i'm not sure about how people feel about manifestation i know some people can feel like that's a dirty word but i saw this thing the other day about you can if you imagine how you feel how you're going to feel when you get whatever you want whatever that is i don't know million dollars like you know something really bad how are you going to feel and the energy that you put out and the vibes that you have when you feel that good if you can imagine that halfway there to getting what you want because it's not the thing that you want it's not the actual physical thing will make you better it's feeling that way that

[bianca_morra]: 16:01

hm

[alison_newman]: 16:01

will make you feel better does that make sense i feel like i've just rambled you know like and that's why i think when you feel good you keep feeling good because you've got that feeling of i feel really good and you'll do whatever you need to subconsciously perhaps too to keep feeling so it's like you just vibe off yourself i don't know where that was coming from but that point of doing things before you read don't wait till something awesome happens to feel good just feel good that's really simplistic but you

[bianca_morra]: 16:29

really

[alison_newman]: 16:29

know what i mean

[bianca_morra]: 16:29

hilarious that you say that because i was doing i'm in this wonderful coaching program

[alison_newman]: 16:35

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 16:35

and i was doing one of my reflections

[alison_newman]: 16:38

oh

[bianca_morra]: 16:39

and i was like i think that i've realized that i have a hard time tolerating feeling good i i just think about

[alison_newman]: 16:49

m

[bianca_morra]: 16:49

the things that when something good

[alison_newman]: 16:53

oh

[bianca_morra]: 16:53

comes

[alison_newman]: 16:54

s

[bianca_morra]: 16:55

i've recognized how quickly i'm like

[alison_newman]: 16:58

i

[bianca_morra]: 16:59

great but this is going to happen great but now this it's like i cannot sit in the good and m and then on the tail end

[alison_newman]: 17:08

m

[bianca_morra]: 17:08

of that i was just thinking about how how under

[alison_newman]: 17:12

a

[bianca_morra]: 17:12

pressure i felt recently just

[alison_newman]: 17:14

oh

[bianca_morra]: 17:15

in life and then i zoom out and i think

[alison_newman]: 17:18

right

[bianca_morra]: 17:18

well this

[alison_newman]: 17:19

when

[bianca_morra]: 17:19

is pretty much the life i've always wanted

[alison_newman]: 17:21

oh

[bianca_morra]: 17:22

like i don't have a full time corporate job i'm doing the work that i care

[alison_newman]: 17:26

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 17:26

about

[alison_newman]: 17:27

that

[bianca_morra]: 17:27

so much but so i have all of this except for part so now i can't be feel free and

[alison_newman]: 17:34

so

[bianca_morra]: 17:34

at peace

[alison_newman]: 17:34

have all

[bianca_morra]: 17:35

and calm until this part happens but then once that happens surely there's going to be something else you know so when are we going to stop giving ourselves son why

[alison_newman]: 17:46

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 17:46

we can't

[alison_newman]: 17:47

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 17:48

feel good yet oh

[alison_newman]: 17:50

i m m yeah it's like when people say when i lose such and such close i'll be happy then or you know you're always putting your faith in something else yeah i don't know it's interesting this out sort of external

[bianca_morra]: 18:10

m

[alison_newman]: 18:10

validation humans need to feel

[bianca_morra]: 18:13

m

[alison_newman]: 18:14

good

[bianca_morra]: 18:14

m

[alison_newman]: 18:14

it's like we can't feel good unless someone else allows us to feel good or tells us we can feel good i was thinking this the other day you know it's interesting i discovered this thing many years ago sort of harking back to what i was saying before about people i've lost my train of thought but anyway it's about it was about the judgment thing it's more reflection on them

[bianca_morra]: 18:41

hm

[alison_newman]: 18:41

than what it is on you when we're in like i said work in early childhood try and get a child to understand their place in the world or there we call them windows learning windows where the where they sit within a group or in a social setting if so and hurt someone else's feelings say can you see that you've made them sad and i've started thinking about not using that lately because it's up to that child if they feel sad or not

[bianca_morra]: 19:16

m

[alison_newman]: 19:16

if you know what i mean

[bianca_morra]: 19:17

m

[alison_newman]: 19:18

it's not up to whatever behavior

[bianca_morra]: 19:20

yes

[alison_newman]: 19:20

was put on them they might not actually feel sad yes sort of as an adult you sort of you realize that you're responsible for how you feel yourself it doesn't matter if someone is treating you a certain way you don't actually

[bianca_morra]: 19:36

yes

[alison_newman]: 19:37

have to take on that emotion or whatever they're putting at you so i'm not articulating this

[bianca_morra]: 19:42

i'm

[alison_newman]: 19:42

very

[bianca_morra]: 19:43

tracking

[alison_newman]: 19:43

well at

[bianca_morra]: 19:43

with

[alison_newman]: 19:43

all

[bianca_morra]: 19:43

you completely

[alison_newman]: 19:44

so hopefully everyone's still with me

[bianca_morra]: 19:47

yes

[alison_newman]: 19:49

you know what i mean it's like no one else is responsible for how you feel but you and i feel like from a really early age we're taught that your response is determined

[bianca_morra]: 20:00

yeah

[alison_newman]: 20:01

on someone else and you know i don't know yeah

[bianca_morra]: 20:04

oh i mean

[alison_newman]: 20:06

how did

[bianca_morra]: 20:06

i

[alison_newman]: 20:06

we

[bianca_morra]: 20:06

don't

[alison_newman]: 20:06

get

[bianca_morra]: 20:06

know

[alison_newman]: 20:07

to this point

[bianca_morra]: 20:07

i don't know but it makes so much sense to me

[alison_newman]: 20:12

it's good yea

[bianca_morra]: 20:13

i find myself tripping over my words when i'm trying

[alison_newman]: 20:15

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 20:16

to like

[alison_newman]: 20:18

i

[bianca_morra]: 20:19

navigate a situation with my son who's for now and i feel like everything i go to say everything that i've heard a million times before to me and around me i'm like i don't want to say that but i don't even know i don't even know what to say like i don't like there's so many things like he heard his brother and i

[alison_newman]: 20:38

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 20:38

was like say you're sorry but wait are you sorry but you didn't need to i don't know like it's i'm very aware

[alison_newman]: 20:45

yeah i

[bianca_morra]: 20:46

that

[alison_newman]: 20:46

know what you

[bianca_morra]: 20:46

this

[alison_newman]: 20:46

mean it's

[bianca_morra]: 20:46

stuff

[alison_newman]: 20:47

like yes

[bianca_morra]: 20:47

has like

[alison_newman]: 20:47

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 20:48

stemmed from i just saw someone

[alison_newman]: 20:50

like

[bianca_morra]: 20:51

that posted on instagram it was like a role playing of like a mom and her daughter and it was like

[alison_newman]: 20:56

well

[bianca_morra]: 20:57

the dreaded be a good girl we have company smile give so

[alison_newman]: 21:02

m

[bianca_morra]: 21:02

and so like just all

[alison_newman]: 21:04

m

[bianca_morra]: 21:04

of these things no tear and it's just

[alison_newman]: 21:07

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 21:08

i feel like there's so much beautiful awareness

[alison_newman]: 21:11

yes

[bianca_morra]: 21:12

of

[alison_newman]: 21:13

i

[bianca_morra]: 21:14

cycles that we're aware of cycles that we don't want to continue on

[alison_newman]: 21:20

here

[bianca_morra]: 21:20

but i'm also a little bit stumped about what to do better that still feels

[alison_newman]: 21:27

little

[bianca_morra]: 21:27

productive oftentimes i find myself wanting to just be silent like not silent but like sit with my kid and see what

[alison_newman]: 21:38

i

[bianca_morra]: 21:38

he has to say

[alison_newman]: 21:38

yet

[bianca_morra]: 21:39

like i don't i less and less want to be the one that's saying something and i don't know if that's because i'm stumped i don't know if that's an intuitive thing i don't even know yet

[alison_newman]: 21:52

yeah but that i mean whatever it is just go with it because that's you know i feel like that what you're saying like we get brought up with all these things around us and then i think that's what a lot of this mom guilt comes from because you've got these expectations

[bianca_morra]: 22:09

yes

[alison_newman]: 22:09

on you to do things a certain way and raise your child a certain way and have them come out a certain way and if they don't that's real on on you and then you get all this stuff from social media depending on who you follow about or you shouldn't say this or you should say that a but and then you literally feel like like what you're saying you like you go to say something and you go

[bianca_morra]: 22:29

yeah

[alison_newman]: 22:29

i shouldn't say that because that'll do whatever no don't say that because it's like whatever happened to just like what you're saying this intuitiveness

[bianca_morra]: 22:39

yeah

[alison_newman]: 22:39

is coming out of you this is your true mother and coming out and it's like we've lost that lost that just

[bianca_morra]: 22:48

oh

[alison_newman]: 22:48

intuitiveness of i don't know because we've got all this stuff been stuffed into us and told us what to do and what to do and what to do and what not to do yeah no

[bianca_morra]: 23:00

there's so much there's so much

[alison_newman]: 23:02

then

[bianca_morra]: 23:02

there i i want

[alison_newman]: 23:06

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 23:06

to hear a little bit more about

[alison_newman]: 23:08

oh

[bianca_morra]: 23:08

your background in an you said early childhood development at but still

[alison_newman]: 23:14

so

[bianca_morra]: 23:15

also

[alison_newman]: 23:15

oh

[bianca_morra]: 23:15

the music also the music that you create and i'm wondering if there's a i'm assuming there's a through line between your music your craw aft and you know what has come out of you in

[alison_newman]: 23:28

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 23:28

this podcast as well so can you tell us a little bit about that

[alison_newman]: 23:36

well yeah first i worked in early childhood

[bianca_morra]: 23:38

oh

[alison_newman]: 23:39

care for

[bianca_morra]: 23:40

oh

[alison_newman]: 23:41

in nearly ten years i discovered after i had my first son i'd always worked in offices like reception and typing and stuff and i just though i don't want to do that any more i want something different and i thought well i enjoy looking after my son maybe i'll enjoy looking after other people's children and it turned out to be the best thing i ever did because it meets my needs of an care and nurture which is a really strong need that i have hands on sort of need and that also what i briefly talked about earlier about analyzing and psychology and stuff like i have a really deep need to know why things happen and why people do what they do question things so it meets those nights and yeah i've worked i worked in a child a day care setting for nine years and i've recently started working in a kinder garden like a pre school i don't know what you guys call it over there but yes so i'm there now working with pre school age children and it's just so amazing and i just love it and it's i swear i was put on this earth to do it but i had to do all these other things to get to this point which is also a little frustrating but i don't think honestly i could have done it any earlier in my life to be a mother of at least one and have a bit more time under my belt i think before i did it but yeah so my singing i started singing when i was five my first gig gig i put that in inverted quote i was saying it at my my primary schools christmas concert and i have like distinct memories of the teacher holding the microphone for me and she wasn't holding it in the right spot so moving hand closer so that's bit of background ing to my level of need to control figs which has gotten better over the years

[bianca_morra]: 25:40

oh

[alison_newman]: 25:40

but that's you know if

[bianca_morra]: 25:42

oh

[alison_newman]: 25:42

you're gonna do it do it properly you know i feel like that's my dad coming out m but yeah i look i've sang inquires i've sang in vocal groups i've seen small on semble sang in rock bands so those stuff at weddings that venus around town and my sister i've done a lot of stuff together she's a very similar voice i'm slightly lower and she's like no she's slightly lower and i'm slightly higher and we blend really really well she's usually seen the tune i sing the harmony an me we've got a pretty good thing going on so we still sing at weddings and and things like that so yeah and i write and record music pardon me this so this was my first album that came out in twenty nineteen my horse got someone to draw for me so it's called heart songs and so every song if they're not love songs necessarily some of them love songs but it's about experiences that i've had so at that point i was writing very strongly from things that i'd seen or done and it's a very i won't say it's folk but it's border line there's a lot of guitar there's a couple of upupbeat nice sort of songs here's a lot of ballads and piano stuff so that was between nineteen and then i've started packing back to my experience with post natal depression that i had after both my children but more so after my second one i'm working on an album at the moment called wolf

[bianca_morra]: 27:17

oh

[alison_newman]: 27:18

the big bad wolf and it's going to be about six or seven tracks all about my experience so it runs chronologically from it was first coming on so the first songs called things are about to get dark so it's like look out it's coming back

[bianca_morra]: 27:34

yes

[alison_newman]: 27:34

again it's going to get sorry i talk about this so lightly now but it's not a

[bianca_morra]: 27:38

oh

[alison_newman]: 27:38

funny subject at all and then it sort of runs chronologically

[bianca_morra]: 27:43

yeah

[alison_newman]: 27:44

till i get well and get better and things are i won't say back to normal because i don't think you ever back to normal after an experience

[bianca_morra]: 27:52

m

[alison_newman]: 27:52

like that but you know tolerable manageable living your life every day sort of way so yeah i'm working on that with my producers are in spain and argentina so i sit here in my little studio home record my vocals and send them off to them and they mash it all together the magic of the internet and then send me back a song and it's just it's such a great experience because i live five hundred as between two major cities on and it's not accessible for me to travel i've got two kids you know to up end my life for weeks at a time to go record in studios because we really don't have that sort of stuff down here so it's really great

[bianca_morra]: 28:35

oh

[alison_newman]: 28:35

and i really wish i shouldn't say this of saying it again but if the internet had to come around earlier i feel like i could have done so much more with my music but it's like i'm forty four and it's you know

[bianca_morra]: 28:50

our

[alison_newman]: 28:50

i'm

[bianca_morra]: 28:50

doing

[alison_newman]: 28:50

doing

[bianca_morra]: 28:50

it

[alison_newman]: 28:51

it

[bianca_morra]: 28:51

you're

[alison_newman]: 28:51

now

[bianca_morra]: 28:51

doing it

[alison_newman]: 28:52

but you know what i mean it's like i felt so held back for so long the tyranny of distance and i never wanted to leave home like i've lived in this town my whole life my parents here my sister is here with her family just i think it's almost like defiance like why should i have to move to do this i can make this work you know what i mean

[bianca_morra]: 29:12

yeah i know what you mean

[alison_newman]: 29:14

it's bloody

[bianca_morra]: 29:15

ye

[alison_newman]: 29:15

mindedness that i'm goin a do it here but yeah it's it's just fun it's satisfying i love it

[bianca_morra]: 29:23

i

[alison_newman]: 29:23

no it's just

[bianca_morra]: 29:25

oh

[alison_newman]: 29:25

through the podcast it's got me into different sorts of creativity so i've been doing some painting and critic painting and water color painting because i've learned so much about different this is that i've just thought

[bianca_morra]: 29:37

oh

[alison_newman]: 29:37

stuff this i'm going to have a crack at it and i find that's a really soothing way to nurture myself when i need a bit of space when i'm not ready to edit some or record something i can flap around with some paint so

[bianca_morra]: 29:50

yes

[alison_newman]: 29:51

it's been amazing for me it's been a really amazing experience for me and let alone meeting amazing people

[bianca_morra]: 29:56

so

[alison_newman]: 29:57

like seriously some amazing mazing souls that i've met around the world it's just amazing

[bianca_morra]: 30:02

ye

[alison_newman]: 30:03

it's so amazing

[bianca_morra]: 30:04

it really is a world opener

[alison_newman]: 30:06

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 30:06

it truly is um

[alison_newman]: 30:09

oh man

[bianca_morra]: 30:09

m you know

[alison_newman]: 30:10

it's wonderful

[bianca_morra]: 30:11

i'm really curious because with your so

[alison_newman]: 30:15

i

[bianca_morra]: 30:16

my craft it's photography and it's like i feel like i

[alison_newman]: 30:22

yes

[bianca_morra]: 30:22

i'm able when i'm doing that to say what i want to say even though i don't have the words to say it but i do it through the photos but you

[alison_newman]: 30:30

yes yes h

[bianca_morra]: 30:33

actually have words

[alison_newman]: 30:33

m m

[bianca_morra]: 30:34

in your cat so how is that like as you talk about how fascinated you are with getting

[alison_newman]: 30:40

h

[bianca_morra]: 30:40

underneath and like you know finding the meaning the deeper and and all of it what

[alison_newman]: 30:47

m

[bianca_morra]: 30:47

is that process like for you what does it feel like for you to be able to take your own experiences and channel it into

[alison_newman]: 30:53

i

[bianca_morra]: 30:53

into art but this art is is still pretty i don't know what's in the word i mean literally because you're singing words um right so how does that that story telling

[alison_newman]: 31:05

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 31:05

go in your song

[alison_newman]: 31:06

it's yeah look it's interesting

[bianca_morra]: 31:13

a

[alison_newman]: 31:13

i these

[bianca_morra]: 31:14

oh

[alison_newman]: 31:14

tracks are very literal like it's you've sort of under no illusions

[bianca_morra]: 31:21

h

[alison_newman]: 31:21

what's happening

[bianca_morra]: 31:22

m

[alison_newman]: 31:22

in these tracks right the lyrics are quite explicit i guess in that but what i wanted to do this deeper stuff which which i love is use the

[bianca_morra]: 31:34

oh

[alison_newman]: 31:34

actual instruments and the sound effects and any sort of distortion or that sort of stuff to paint the picture and to continue to

[bianca_morra]: 31:44

m

[alison_newman]: 31:44

tell the story

[bianca_morra]: 31:45

m

[alison_newman]: 31:45

so a few tracks we've got some really like i don't even know how to describe particular sound effects that hark back to i don't want to say someone losing their mind but you can literally if you listen to the backings without me singing

[bianca_morra]: 32:00

hm

[alison_newman]: 32:02

you would know that someone's having a bit of a difficult time keeping

[bianca_morra]: 32:05

right

[alison_newman]: 32:06

themselves together and i'm saying that in

[bianca_morra]: 32:08

yes

[alison_newman]: 32:08

the nicest possible way because i leave this i can laugh

[bianca_morra]: 32:11

yeah

[alison_newman]: 32:11

about this now and i'm sorry it sounds like i'm making a lot of it and i'm certainly not but you know

[bianca_morra]: 32:16

yeah

[alison_newman]: 32:16

changing the sound of my voice there's some there's some parts in tracts where it sounds like um you know there's some distortion placed on my vocal so it doesn't sound

[bianca_morra]: 32:27

m

[alison_newman]: 32:27

quite right so those little tweaks that make that's how it sort of connects like things aren't normal here things aren't smoothsaling there's all these bumps in the i you know literally i'm not sounding how i normally sound like things like that to tell the story but it's interesting with my painting i found it really difficult when i first started painting to work out how i'd express myself because i'm so used to doing it with words so it's like but how do you get that across how do you how do people know what you mean you know this sort

[bianca_morra]: 32:58

m

[alison_newman]: 32:59

of stuff and then i i spoke to an artist she said it's not about them knowing what you mean it's about you putting

[bianca_morra]: 33:07

ye

[alison_newman]: 33:08

down how you felt and then they can interpret

[bianca_morra]: 33:10

hm

[alison_newman]: 33:10

it however they like so it's been different for me to get my head around this different mediums

[bianca_morra]: 33:16

yeah

[alison_newman]: 33:17

yeah it's more about and i mean there's some songs you'd listen to of mind you're not quite exactly quite sure what's going on so people

[bianca_morra]: 33:26

yes

[alison_newman]: 33:26

take what they need from that but it's literally like yeah this painting i've been working on um

[bianca_morra]: 33:35

oh

[alison_newman]: 33:36

this

[bianca_morra]: 33:37

thank

[alison_newman]: 33:37

so what i did was this was the day that i got

[bianca_morra]: 33:40

uh

[alison_newman]: 33:40

really annoyed with my husband

[bianca_morra]: 33:42

h

[alison_newman]: 33:42

because

[bianca_morra]: 33:42

oh

[alison_newman]: 33:42

i started a new job and i needed help

[bianca_morra]: 33:46

oh

[alison_newman]: 33:46

getting the kids to school on a particular day because my work started at eight thirty and so did their school and so we had this massive conversation about well he was basically saying well my job is more important because i earn more and it always will be so i can't you know be ten minutes late for my work and i was just like hang on a second like we're supposed to raise the children and you want us to work

[bianca_morra]: 34:16

m

[alison_newman]: 34:16

but then when we try and work you don't actually help us or make it easy for us to do that i was so wild and that painting as the result of it it was like this big black thing i never paint in black so it was like literally this frustration and i made a great big instagram

[bianca_morra]: 34:34

yes

[alison_newman]: 34:35

post about it about i'm so

[bianca_morra]: 34:37

yes

[alison_newman]: 34:37

annoyed right now and i was painting painting painting painting and i had the orange that's in it was i was playing around before i even started with it i just had a blank canvas and i was playing with this technique of swishing this orange pain i thought i'm going to leave that there because that's like me trying to break through you know like this is how i was i

[bianca_morra]: 34:57

yes

[alison_newman]: 34:57

was was making this and then i actually i have a lot of old music like really old music i don't even know how i got it and i was looking through it and i was finding words that

[bianca_morra]: 35:07

oh

[alison_newman]: 35:07

was describing how i was feeling and there was a song i don't even know i can find it but particular song about who's taking you home tonight or it was from the men's point

[bianca_morra]: 35:17

my

[alison_newman]: 35:17

of view of like they would sort out

[bianca_morra]: 35:19

m

[alison_newman]: 35:19

the women the girls would be looked after by the men it was like this is ball ship we could sort our own way like you know i was really good at it so i tore them up and i stuck it on you can't see them now which is fine

[bianca_morra]: 35:32

mah

[alison_newman]: 35:32

it's in there you know and i just i went back to it over and over and i might still go back to it if i'm really you know riled up one day i went back to it the day tommy

[bianca_morra]: 35:42

oh

[alison_newman]: 35:43

leave did dick pick because that really annoyed me

[bianca_morra]: 35:47

your cameras and presstations

[alison_newman]: 35:49

know and that's and so now yeah

[bianca_morra]: 35:53

ah

[alison_newman]: 35:53

like i don't know it's like now i've learned another

[bianca_morra]: 35:56

yeah

[alison_newman]: 35:56

way to express myself which is

[bianca_morra]: 35:57

yeah

[alison_newman]: 35:58

really good so that's another tool that i've got to help me work through things when i need to say

[bianca_morra]: 36:04

it's

[alison_newman]: 36:04

it's when

[bianca_morra]: 36:04

when

[alison_newman]: 36:04

we

[bianca_morra]: 36:04

when

[alison_newman]: 36:05

you know it's amazing

[bianca_morra]: 36:05

it's so funny because i'm sitting here like how do you

[alison_newman]: 36:08

oh

[bianca_morra]: 36:08

use actual words how did you're like how do you not use words

[alison_newman]: 36:18

i know this is that's the thing

[bianca_morra]: 36:20

yes

[alison_newman]: 36:20

that challenges me like i'm so used to use words

[bianca_morra]: 36:23

oh my gosh

[alison_newman]: 36:24

it's funny

[bianca_morra]: 36:24

it's

[alison_newman]: 36:24

isn't it

[bianca_morra]: 36:24

so funny but isn't it

[alison_newman]: 36:27

oh

[bianca_morra]: 36:27

i could just feel even though i don't have experience in that in that craft just the

[alison_newman]: 36:34

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 36:34

way you're describing it like to be able to

[alison_newman]: 36:38

i

[bianca_morra]: 36:38

utilize things that you wouldn't normally utilize like just like a little voice distortion

[alison_newman]: 36:41

i

[bianca_morra]: 36:42

or you know xwizto really suppor the story and the feeling there's just no other feeling then seeing something or hearing something that you've made

[alison_newman]: 36:53

yes

[bianca_morra]: 36:54

and knowing the experience you've had of being like that's it like that's it um it reminds me of

[alison_newman]: 37:01

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 37:02

so sometimes i talk about when i went through

[alison_newman]: 37:05

oh

[bianca_morra]: 37:05

my post part depression there were the pictures i took because you know my mom was there taking a photo and i was smiling

[alison_newman]: 37:13

m

[bianca_morra]: 37:13

and i really hated everything in the world

[alison_newman]: 37:16

m

[bianca_morra]: 37:17

and the pictures i took where it was in the middle of the night and i don't know

[alison_newman]: 37:21

m

[bianca_morra]: 37:21

why

[alison_newman]: 37:21

a

[bianca_morra]: 37:22

earth i was even taking a picture i was just listening to myself and just snapping a photo and i look like absolute hell

[alison_newman]: 37:27

thank

[bianca_morra]: 37:28

but those are the ones that

[alison_newman]: 37:29

oh

[bianca_morra]: 37:30

i feel like i feel comforted

[alison_newman]: 37:33

m

[bianca_morra]: 37:33

and i feel like i respond to in the way that it's like i feel compassion for myself i can see how far i've come and i look at the ones that i was putting on a face

[alison_newman]: 37:44

m

[bianca_morra]: 37:44

it doesn't represent anything i went through and

[alison_newman]: 37:46

oh

[bianca_morra]: 37:46

it makes me wildly uncomfortable like even though they look quota quote better

[alison_newman]: 37:51

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 37:51

like physically of me i guess but like it makes me so uncomfortable to see such

[alison_newman]: 37:56

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 37:57

disjointed representation of like what was actually going on so i don't i don't really think that there can be a more

[alison_newman]: 38:07

oh yea

[bianca_morra]: 38:08

i don't know heal ing thing than to be able

[alison_newman]: 38:11

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 38:11

to lean into whatever it is that you're feeling compelled to do or make or create from that place because nce you're in a different place later and you look back on that i mean there's just transformation that can happen

[alison_newman]: 38:25

ah

[bianca_morra]: 38:25

in that reflection a

[alison_newman]: 38:30

yeah and i find like this the topic i'm singing about is very heavy and i think this is why it's it's taken nearly two two is just to get four songs done because i get very reluctant to actually

[bianca_morra]: 38:43

ah

[alison_newman]: 38:44

sing them because they were written at a time when i wasn't that

[bianca_morra]: 38:49

at

[alison_newman]: 38:49

grade and so then to have to

[bianca_morra]: 38:51

yes

[alison_newman]: 38:51

go back into that head space and re live that

[bianca_morra]: 38:53

yes

[alison_newman]: 38:53

to project what i want to come out is

[bianca_morra]: 38:56

yes

[alison_newman]: 38:56

really hard to do so often i'll put it off and i just i'm not the sort of person that puts pressure on myself to have

[bianca_morra]: 39:03

hm

[alison_newman]: 39:03

things done by a certain time when it comes to something enjoyable i think it should be enjoyable you shouldn't be like i know i've got to do this when it's one thing so i don't propresson myself and my production team know that so they're not banging on the they're not like messaging what's going on what's going on they're like when it's when you're ready you're ready so s been really hard but i want to do them justice i don't want them

[bianca_morra]: 39:28

yeah

[alison_newman]: 39:28

to come out

[bianca_morra]: 39:28

oh

[alison_newman]: 39:28

half baked when you won't get the whole experience of you know what i mean the delivery of my vocal needs be very very authentic to get my

[bianca_morra]: 39:38

so

[alison_newman]: 39:38

message

[bianca_morra]: 39:38

what does

[alison_newman]: 39:39

across

[bianca_morra]: 39:39

he look

[alison_newman]: 39:39

so

[bianca_morra]: 39:39

like for you

[alison_newman]: 39:40

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 39:40

like is that like like do you set your your scent like what does that look like for you like when when

[alison_newman]: 39:49

i

[bianca_morra]: 39:49

that does happen like those few songs and you're like okay now is the time what is it that compels you to do it

[alison_newman]: 39:55

yeah well usually i'm feeling down if i'm feeling crap if i'm having like you know the waves

[bianca_morra]: 40:05

yes

[alison_newman]: 40:05

i'm on a downward bit that's always a good

[bianca_morra]: 40:08

yeah

[alison_newman]: 40:08

start and then often i will listen to the other tracks that i've finished make me get back

[bianca_morra]: 40:14

hm

[alison_newman]: 40:14

in that space

[bianca_morra]: 40:16

oh

[alison_newman]: 40:16

and it's not nice i don't like

[bianca_morra]: 40:18

m

[alison_newman]: 40:18

doing it

[bianca_morra]: 40:19

m

[alison_newman]: 40:19

but i'm very compelled to finish this i want to get it out there because it's so look same with the podcast like it opens an opportunity for conversation and potential healing for other people and i feel like it will be it will be one of the moments where when this is done it will be

[bianca_morra]: 40:36

mhm

[alison_newman]: 40:37

weight lifted off me and it has helped me work three things over the years

[bianca_morra]: 40:43

ah

[alison_newman]: 40:43

but yeah it's you just got to get into it you just got to get yourself down there which isn't fun and then make sure you got something else at the other end to help you

[bianca_morra]: 40:52

hm

[alison_newman]: 40:52

get back up again so yeah doing it during the

[bianca_morra]: 40:55

hm

[alison_newman]: 40:55

day is good because then it's light when

[bianca_morra]: 40:58

hm

[alison_newman]: 40:58

i'm finished that's important part

[bianca_morra]: 41:01

yeah

[alison_newman]: 41:01

me not to do it at night yeah and then just to walk back out into life get on with it

[bianca_morra]: 41:07

yeah yeah yeah

[alison_newman]: 41:10

i don't know

[bianca_morra]: 41:11

yeah

[alison_newman]: 41:11

it's good fun

[bianca_morra]: 41:12

it's

[alison_newman]: 41:13

ah

[bianca_morra]: 41:15

i think that this idea of i just feel like the most important things have

[alison_newman]: 41:25

i

[bianca_morra]: 41:25

this bitter sweet

[alison_newman]: 41:26

oh

[bianca_morra]: 41:26

quality to them to begin with and i love

[alison_newman]: 41:29

oh

[bianca_morra]: 41:29

how you have me like es

[alison_newman]: 41:33

yes

[bianca_morra]: 41:34

i don't a structure

[alison_newman]: 41:34

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 41:34

may not be the right word but like

[alison_newman]: 41:37

oh

[bianca_morra]: 41:37

you know the things that have to be in place or that you want

[alison_newman]: 41:40

oh

[bianca_morra]: 41:40

in place like i am not going to force myself into this but when i'm feeling

[alison_newman]: 41:44

ah

[bianca_morra]: 41:44

it i will lean in will be the thing it should be light out by by like you you're doing the things to keep yourself safe but also

[alison_newman]: 41:53

oh yeah

[bianca_morra]: 41:53

honour the work that you are doing and you're very specific authentic vision for

[alison_newman]: 41:59

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 41:59

it is beautiful

[alison_newman]: 42:03

yeah now that's that's a good way of describing it i am keeping myself

[bianca_morra]: 42:06

hm

[alison_newman]: 42:07

safe but i am making sure

[bianca_morra]: 42:09

m

[alison_newman]: 42:09

that it does on the way

[bianca_morra]: 42:10

hm

[alison_newman]: 42:10

i wanted to come out because it will lose

[bianca_morra]: 42:12

m

[alison_newman]: 42:12

its impact if it doesn't if it's not authentic i'll feel like it's a wasted opportunity um and even when i one of the songs i don't remember what song it was now pieces

[bianca_morra]: 42:25

m

[alison_newman]: 42:25

of my pain

[bianca_morra]: 42:26

m m

[alison_newman]: 42:28

that that i put it into a singing song competition last year and it i went to adelaide and performed and i on the state final and even performing that know you sort of go into

[bianca_morra]: 42:43

m

[alison_newman]: 42:43

like almost like an acting

[bianca_morra]: 42:44

m

[alison_newman]: 42:44

phase like where you've

[bianca_morra]: 42:45

yeah

[alison_newman]: 42:46

got to deliver this song and deliver this message it's a really

[bianca_morra]: 42:50

oh

[alison_newman]: 42:51

up bat a dark song um so even that just took a lot out of me was like i

[bianca_morra]: 42:57

just

[alison_newman]: 42:57

need a drink like this was just it was

[bianca_morra]: 42:59

my god

[alison_newman]: 42:59

really

[bianca_morra]: 42:59

if you're

[alison_newman]: 43:00

full

[bianca_morra]: 43:00

a video of this i want to see

[alison_newman]: 43:01

and there were

[bianca_morra]: 43:02

it

[alison_newman]: 43:02

so many people there look there's a really really poor quality video that my husband took because he's not very

[bianca_morra]: 43:11

oh

[alison_newman]: 43:11

switched on with things sometimes but you know it's like you just do what you got to do i don't know and then that was finished and i had the opportunity then to sing it in the national final in sydney

[bianca_morra]: 43:22

oh

[alison_newman]: 43:23

but ovid went crazy and

[bianca_morra]: 43:25

ye

[alison_newman]: 43:25

so i got in touch i basically hired someone to sing it for me someone who lived in sydney already um and performed it so it got to be saying

[bianca_morra]: 43:33

as

[alison_newman]: 43:34

it the final

[bianca_morra]: 43:34

um

[alison_newman]: 43:34

which i was pleased to be at but you know it's hard i don't know because these things

[bianca_morra]: 43:42

yes

[alison_newman]: 43:43

these experiences need be the same with your photography

[bianca_morra]: 43:46

oh

[alison_newman]: 43:46

like these experiences are so

[bianca_morra]: 43:48

please

[alison_newman]: 43:48

personal and they're piece of you

[bianca_morra]: 43:51

oh

[alison_newman]: 43:51

and it's hard sometimes letting it out for other people to see but i

[bianca_morra]: 43:55

yes

[alison_newman]: 43:55

feel it's really important to do that i feel compelled put

[bianca_morra]: 44:00

yeah

[alison_newman]: 44:00

aside any sort of i don't know preciousness of myself and look this is for the greater good you

[bianca_morra]: 44:07

m

[alison_newman]: 44:07

know what i mean like if this helps one person and i am you know a happy happy person i'm

[bianca_morra]: 44:15

m

[alison_newman]: 44:15

you know i want to invoke change and i want to empower people and particularly

[bianca_morra]: 44:21

oh

[alison_newman]: 44:22

women and mothers that you know they can get help if they need it and they

[bianca_morra]: 44:28

oh

[alison_newman]: 44:28

and what they're feeling is normal you're not a bad

[bianca_morra]: 44:32

m

[alison_newman]: 44:32

person for having certain

[bianca_morra]: 44:33

hm

[alison_newman]: 44:33

thoughts it's normal you know i want i want that

[bianca_morra]: 44:36

oh

[alison_newman]: 44:37

to come across and the fact that you know

[bianca_morra]: 44:40

yeah

[alison_newman]: 44:40

mental health issues can

[bianca_morra]: 44:42

yeah

[alison_newman]: 44:42

can affect anybody like it doesn't matter who you are in life where you're born without bringing your parents or anything you know social status or know monetary status if your brain is wide that way t will happen to you and there's no shame in that that's the biggest thing i think like the shame thing that we're also afraid of saying

[bianca_morra]: 45:03

mhm

[alison_newman]: 45:04

we need help you know we should be capable of sorting stuff out we shouldn't have to ask for help you know

[bianca_morra]: 45:10

yeah yes

[alison_newman]: 45:11

and even in conversation the podcast actually that's coming out on friday with flora harris we're talking about the fact that i think we've lost the ability

[bianca_morra]: 45:20

yeah

[alison_newman]: 45:20

as mothers

[bianca_morra]: 45:21

oh

[alison_newman]: 45:22

to

[bianca_morra]: 45:22

i

[alison_newman]: 45:22

ask for help just to say can you look after my child because it's like well he's your child you should make sure that you're not gone so you can you know this judgment

[bianca_morra]: 45:30

hm

[alison_newman]: 45:31

thing um it's so strong that it sort of quieten us and makes us not want to speak up so

[bianca_morra]: 45:40

yeah

[alison_newman]: 45:40

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 45:40

it's just

[alison_newman]: 45:41

i don't know

[bianca_morra]: 45:41

i remember going back

[alison_newman]: 45:43

ah

[bianca_morra]: 45:43

to my

[alison_newman]: 45:44

yes

[bianca_morra]: 45:44

work after my matorney leave and it's like this feeling of like must perform as

[alison_newman]: 45:51

a

[bianca_morra]: 45:52

if nothing ever happened

[alison_newman]: 45:53

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 45:53

as if a human didn't come out of my body and i wasn't just feeding him from my body before i left and it's just it's it's absolutely

[alison_newman]: 46:04

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 46:04

insane

[alison_newman]: 46:05

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 46:07

insane

[alison_newman]: 46:09

m

[bianca_morra]: 46:09

i got it

[alison_newman]: 46:11

yeah that's actually one of my favorite quotes that

[bianca_morra]: 46:14

oh

[alison_newman]: 46:14

i like to share is that that you said you had to tell them

[bianca_morra]: 46:21

yes

[alison_newman]: 46:21

that no it wasn't

[bianca_morra]: 46:22

no

[alison_newman]: 46:22

okay so that someone would then realize because whatever they've been heard or been taught that it's like going on with i s great you have great rest and it's all good fun and whatever and say no so by your saying that that changes that one

[bianca_morra]: 46:38

m

[alison_newman]: 46:38

person and then that might then they might change the next person you know what i mean disrupting of

[bianca_morra]: 46:44

oh

[alison_newman]: 46:44

the patterns it's really interesting when you

[bianca_morra]: 46:48

m

[alison_newman]: 46:48

just said about this that you're expected to have

[bianca_morra]: 46:52

oh

[alison_newman]: 46:52

this work life and regardless of the fact that you were just feeding your child now you're supposed to just walk in and

[bianca_morra]: 46:57

oh

[alison_newman]: 46:58

switch on there's a podcast a lady

[bianca_morra]: 47:01

yeah

[alison_newman]: 47:01

i had on the podcast called

[bianca_morra]: 47:03

oh

[alison_newman]: 47:03

dr sophie brock she's amazing she's a motherhood

[bianca_morra]: 47:07

so

[alison_newman]: 47:07

studied sociologist based here in sydney and she's got a pod it's called

[bianca_morra]: 47:14

oh

[alison_newman]: 47:14

i've had a mental blank

[bianca_morra]: 47:17

m

[alison_newman]: 47:17

good enough mother it's called so it's breaking down all those stereotypes of what makes a good mother and she had a guest called amy

[bianca_morra]: 47:25

yeah

[alison_newman]: 47:25

taylor cabet on episode seventy nine and she was saying the exact same thing that it's like society

[bianca_morra]: 47:32

yes

[alison_newman]: 47:32

expects us to just do the mothering role and then switch that off and then going to work and your work life doesn't

[bianca_morra]: 47:39

yes

[alison_newman]: 47:40

you know co exist they're two completely separate things and until that changes you know mothers are just going to getting almost like tread like second class citizens that it's like off you go you go do that baby stuff you go do that house stuff not as if that is actually what's keeping society going you know just makes

[bianca_morra]: 48:03

oh

[alison_newman]: 48:03

me so

[bianca_morra]: 48:03

i

[alison_newman]: 48:03

frustrated

[bianca_morra]: 48:03

even think back even though i had you know i really took a strong

[alison_newman]: 48:09

now

[bianca_morra]: 48:09

stand in being honest about my experience i'm still almost haunted by you know

[alison_newman]: 48:15

i

[bianca_morra]: 48:15

even in the moment it's like you know those things where you look back and you're like in the shower and you're like well what i should have fucking said was is a meeting we had like a

[alison_newman]: 48:29

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 48:29

special

[alison_newman]: 48:30

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 48:30

spec like testing thing that we had to do for work and anyway this location wasn't my normal

[alison_newman]: 48:37

and

[bianca_morra]: 48:37

location for work it was like was like a thirty minute ober lift drive outside the city like in the lower

[alison_newman]: 48:45

m

[bianca_morra]: 48:45

whatever it was hard to get to i was still nursing before i had to leave umxwizi

[alison_newman]: 48:49

hm

[bianca_morra]: 48:50

whatever so i had been i had been i don't know like fifteen minutes late people were still around having coffee whatever then the following week i was like pulled into a meeting and the the

[alison_newman]: 49:05

m

[bianca_morra]: 49:06

directors like are you are you having

[alison_newman]: 49:09

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 49:10

just won first ask are you having

[alison_newman]: 49:12

how

[bianca_morra]: 49:13

stuff going on at home now my he's like i just want to

[alison_newman]: 49:17

i

[bianca_morra]: 49:17

you know be able to support you if so

[alison_newman]: 49:19

i

[bianca_morra]: 49:20

but like because it's not like you to show up late but your leader here

[alison_newman]: 49:24

like

[bianca_morra]: 49:24

and bubble and i didn't at the moment i was so like

[alison_newman]: 49:29

at the moment

[bianca_morra]: 49:30

i am you know

[alison_newman]: 49:30

i

[bianca_morra]: 49:30

one

[alison_newman]: 49:30

was

[bianca_morra]: 49:30

of those

[alison_newman]: 49:30

so

[bianca_morra]: 49:31

people that are like you know to a fault pride myself on like an o

[alison_newman]: 49:35

oh

[bianca_morra]: 49:36

and i was like felt was so filled with shame

[alison_newman]: 49:38

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 49:39

and then i was like startled by it i was like what because like no one's ever had to talk to me about something like that and i just kept thinking is something going on at home

[alison_newman]: 49:47

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 49:48

he a you know what it's like

[alison_newman]: 49:51

yes

[bianca_morra]: 49:51

to have something

[alison_newman]: 49:52

oh

[bianca_morra]: 49:52

have to suck on your nipples fast enough you have to be like okay are you almost done

[alison_newman]: 49:57

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 49:57

are you almost done because i got to go my cabs coming i gotta like what like it's we found our way here didn't we so like and it's just you know what drives me wild is that like the ignorance of that like

[alison_newman]: 50:15

wild

[bianca_morra]: 50:15

i'm sure

[alison_newman]: 50:16

life

[bianca_morra]: 50:16

that that person fine person thought they were coming at it from caring place the way they entered the conversation is there some going on at home but it's just

[alison_newman]: 50:26

m

[bianca_morra]: 50:28

it's just a whole world of

[alison_newman]: 50:30

so

[bianca_morra]: 50:30

absolute

[alison_newman]: 50:31

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 50:32

disbelief like the lack of understanding

[alison_newman]: 50:36

yeah yeah yes yeah that's what i was about to say just shows that incredible lack of understanding just no concept whatsoever

[bianca_morra]: 50:46

yes

[alison_newman]: 50:46

yeah a stounding isn't it and that's that's what we're up against

[bianca_morra]: 50:50

so

[alison_newman]: 50:50

that's

[bianca_morra]: 50:50

what would

[alison_newman]: 50:50

what we're

[bianca_morra]: 50:50

you

[alison_newman]: 50:51

dealing

[bianca_morra]: 50:51

say

[alison_newman]: 50:51

with

[bianca_morra]: 50:51

is you know having done talked to all these amazing women

[alison_newman]: 50:55

ah

[bianca_morra]: 50:55

that have this kind of commonality amongst us like what would you say is like one of the biggest common threads or like the strongest um messages that you found amongst all of the interviews you've done or something that surprised you in talking to this many women yeah

[alison_newman]: 51:16

i got to say mam got is one of those big things and surprised me was the other day when i spoke to this flora harris whose

[bianca_morra]: 51:27

at

[alison_newman]: 51:27

episodes coming out on friday she had to google what it meant because she didn't feel it and i was like this

[bianca_morra]: 51:33

s amazing

[alison_newman]: 51:33

is fantastic this is what i want

[bianca_morra]: 51:35

i

[alison_newman]: 51:35

people to this is what i want people to have to do like what that what is that thing and just i was so pleased it's just wonderful and i've heard a couple of momson that have been

[bianca_morra]: 51:47

oh

[alison_newman]: 51:47

like i don't feel it they might not feel it in terms of their creativity but then they might feel in terms of their general

[bianca_morra]: 51:55

oh

[alison_newman]: 51:55

mothering role but yeah mom guilt one of those horrible things because

[bianca_morra]: 51:59

yeah

[alison_newman]: 52:00

like i'm saying earlier i feel like we're conditioned to it by expectation and the interesting thing with flirt is that she never read any parenting

[bianca_morra]: 52:07

m

[alison_newman]: 52:08

books she didn't have i don't think she had anyone else around her that had children at that time her brother and her sister both had children soon after around the time but she didn't have people around her so it was like she as in this nice little bubble that didn't allow her to get influenced by other things and then therefore feel judgment if she did or didn't do those things so i feel like that's the key to this mom guilt is getting rid of these expectations of how we're supposed to do things like we're saying before about what you're supposed to

[bianca_morra]: 52:38

yeah

[alison_newman]: 52:38

say to your child if something happens or

[bianca_morra]: 52:40

m

[alison_newman]: 52:40

you know these whoever made these things we've got to we've got a dithatwe've got to change the story of that get back to nurturing from what feels good for you know like you know socially is great

[bianca_morra]: 52:54

yeah

[alison_newman]: 52:54

you know allows us to connect but it does bring up that opportunity for so much judgment so i feel like we've all just got to you know take things with a grain of soul remember that instagram and things on social media aren't necessarily real life i know a lot of people are sharing more things in real life now the honest stuff which is awesome but yeah i don't know yeah and an identity shift is another big one that that is a repetitive sort of topic that i do love to talk about how how you saw yourself that you know you've always been this particular person but just because you have a child why does that change your how does that change you

[bianca_morra]: 53:38

yes

[alison_newman]: 53:38

or does it change you or do you have to work really hard to not let it change your did you love that it changed you

[bianca_morra]: 53:44

m

[alison_newman]: 53:44

know everyone is so different

[bianca_morra]: 53:44

m

[alison_newman]: 53:45

and particularly creative you know if you're i you are a person who added your whole life you know you'll find a way to create

[bianca_morra]: 53:53

hm

[alison_newman]: 53:53

you will make it work and that that's the thing i like i love hearing from people that those practicalities as well how do you physically do it you know that's something that people like to share in i think people like to hear that too is like oh that's a good idea i hadn't thought of it that way you know

[bianca_morra]: 54:07

yeah

[alison_newman]: 54:07

i had a big shift the way that i saw my creativity

[bianca_morra]: 54:12

ah

[alison_newman]: 54:13

i can't remember

[bianca_morra]: 54:13

yes

[alison_newman]: 54:14

whose episode it was but someone said one little thing and i went okay i can look at it that way you know just these little tiny shifts that can help us along the way so i just think it's great the more sharing we do the

[bianca_morra]: 54:26

oh

[alison_newman]: 54:26

we talk about things breaking down the stigma attached to guilt you know because you are allowed to you know this embevalence of motherhood you know we're allowed to be really fed up with our child's behavior and want them to

[bianca_morra]: 54:42

oh

[alison_newman]: 54:42

sit up and eat their tea and love them at the same time you know there's all these things that make it so conflicting and confusing and that's also what i think society an a yes or a no society wants a black or a white it wants an answer it doesn't

[bianca_morra]: 54:56

m

[alison_newman]: 54:57

want these gray areas and businesses you know if you're working for someone they don't want you to say i might come in to morrow or i might not you know just the way the world works it wants it wants certainty and motherhood doesn't offer that so i think that's where things get thrown up a bit in and things

[bianca_morra]: 55:14

m

[alison_newman]: 55:14

can get challenged

[bianca_morra]: 55:16

it s so funny because certainty is also

[alison_newman]: 55:18

yea

[bianca_morra]: 55:19

it's such an illusion like you know it's that

[alison_newman]: 55:23

oh

[bianca_morra]: 55:23

the

[alison_newman]: 55:23

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 55:24

the desire to control it's just because you want safety but it's like there's risks than every single

[alison_newman]: 55:31

h

[bianca_morra]: 55:31

thing it's just

[alison_newman]: 55:31

m

[bianca_morra]: 55:31

the ones that you're that are more normalized are the ones that you're numbed to like you know getting in your car every day going to work

[alison_newman]: 55:39

m

[bianca_morra]: 55:40

but you know whatever

[alison_newman]: 55:41

m

[bianca_morra]: 55:41

it is it's just the ones

[alison_newman]: 55:43

exactly

[bianca_morra]: 55:43

that most amount

[alison_newman]: 55:44

exactly

[bianca_morra]: 55:44

of people

[alison_newman]: 55:45

right

[bianca_morra]: 55:45

decided

[alison_newman]: 55:45

yet

[bianca_morra]: 55:46

that's a normal that's the normal thing to do and this idea of like sharing and sharing and sharing

[alison_newman]: 55:53

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 55:54

it just goes back to representation it's like you know i love seeing the support for

[alison_newman]: 56:00

that

[bianca_morra]: 56:00

the bottle

[alison_newman]: 56:00

big

[bianca_morra]: 56:00

feeding and also the breast feeding too much

[alison_newman]: 56:03

love

[bianca_morra]: 56:03

when you see too much of one thing then the other you know there's like negative impact on the other

[alison_newman]: 56:09

hm

[bianca_morra]: 56:09

and i think just this this more more this

[alison_newman]: 56:13

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 56:13

more representation out there so that more people can find you know glimmers of themselves out into the world and feel like they're less on it island m

[alison_newman]: 56:26

yes absolutely that cities and it's like yeah

[bianca_morra]: 56:30

yes

[alison_newman]: 56:30

you find

[bianca_morra]: 56:31

yes

[alison_newman]: 56:31

what yeah it is that it's representation it literally is yeah sorry

[bianca_morra]: 56:39

no

[alison_newman]: 56:39

i'm rambling

[bianca_morra]: 56:40

no oh my gosh

[alison_newman]: 56:46

h do you

[bianca_morra]: 56:47

i just there's

[alison_newman]: 56:47

oh

[bianca_morra]: 56:48

just no no end to this conversation

[alison_newman]: 56:51

no

[bianca_morra]: 56:51

so i don't know i don't even know how to end it because there

[alison_newman]: 56:54

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 56:54

is no end this is just this is the theme of this conversation more of these need to happen we just need to have more conversations that don't feel like they have to be

[alison_newman]: 57:03

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 57:03

is that don't feel like they're about something that's specifically

[alison_newman]: 57:06

like

[bianca_morra]: 57:07

launching or coming out now is a conversation for conversation's sake

[alison_newman]: 57:11

yeah exactly and i look honestly

[bianca_morra]: 57:16

yes

[alison_newman]: 57:16

if anyone's interested in just hearing od conversation just listening to this raw stuff that's where the good stuff comes out you know it's not when someone's rehearsed a speech you know twenty times it's this back and forth and the stuff that just just organically comes out that's where the good

[bianca_morra]: 57:35

oh my

[alison_newman]: 57:35

stuff

[bianca_morra]: 57:36

gosh

[alison_newman]: 57:36

is

[bianca_morra]: 57:36

it's like yeah it's actually like this idea like sometimes i'll hear people like oh i would no it would be cool to have a podcast but i think i'd run out of things to say

[alison_newman]: 57:48

oh

[bianca_morra]: 57:48

i'm like noted any time i'd say i lost my train of thought never cutting that out again because i want be able to know yeah

[alison_newman]: 57:55

yeahyesyou

[bianca_morra]: 57:55

you lose your train so what like so what or like when we pause they're like

[alison_newman]: 58:02

know

[bianca_morra]: 58:02

how do we

[alison_newman]: 58:03

it's

[bianca_morra]: 58:03

get

[alison_newman]: 58:03

interesting

[bianca_morra]: 58:03

here i don't know but we're here now we're moving on

[alison_newman]: 58:06

yeah yeah it's interesting you say that when i first started my podcast i used to polish it up so much i take out all the little bits

[bianca_morra]: 58:16

yeah

[alison_newman]: 58:16

and bobs and even now i've started leaving in when the kids

[bianca_morra]: 58:19

yep

[alison_newman]: 58:19

interrupt me or someone else's kids interrupt just a little snip it because it's like literally this is the life of

[bianca_morra]: 58:25

hm

[alison_newman]: 58:25

a mother your time is

[bianca_morra]: 58:27

he

[alison_newman]: 58:27

not your own you have no control over what those children do sometimes even if you set them up with whatever so i've started leaving that stuff in because i feel like it's just so much more authentic and nothing is ever perfect so it's a good representation

[bianca_morra]: 58:42

oh my gosh

[alison_newman]: 58:43

of

[bianca_morra]: 58:43

doing it doing it messy

[alison_newman]: 58:45

ah

[bianca_morra]: 58:45

is the only and it's the only way that it even is possible to keep going that is why i'm coming to you from my i don't when i first started the plot so i bought a microphone i got the head phones i'm like i

[alison_newman]: 58:59

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 58:59

can't if i had to promise myself that every time i recorded

[alison_newman]: 59:03

i

[bianca_morra]: 59:03

an episode i would have the microphone and the head phones and baba i would have stopped at episode for you know

[alison_newman]: 59:09

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 59:09

so it's just like down in dirty like this is the only way that

[alison_newman]: 59:14

yeah

[bianca_morra]: 59:14

this thing is going to live

[alison_newman]: 59:15

oh

[bianca_morra]: 59:15

on so that's just how it has to come uh h

[alison_newman]: 59:22

yeah yeah that's

[bianca_morra]: 59:23

oh

[alison_newman]: 59:23

it

[bianca_morra]: 59:23

my

[alison_newman]: 59:23

you make

[bianca_morra]: 59:24

gosh

[alison_newman]: 59:24

it work that's

[bianca_morra]: 59:25

alison

[alison_newman]: 59:25

it

[bianca_morra]: 59:25

can you

[alison_newman]: 59:25

eh

[bianca_morra]: 59:25

please tell us

[alison_newman]: 59:27

oh

[bianca_morra]: 59:27

where we can find your podcast

[alison_newman]: 59:29

no

[bianca_morra]: 59:29

i will put all of the links in the show notes um and if we can if there's

[alison_newman]: 59:33

all

[bianca_morra]: 59:33

a place where we can find and listen to music

[alison_newman]: 59:35

yeah yeah for sure so alison newman dot net is my main page so allison has one l and newman is an wm and just nice and

[bianca_morra]: 59:49

m

[alison_newman]: 59:49

plan and boring and alison newman dot

[bianca_morra]: 59:52

m

[alison_newman]: 59:52

net slash podcast is the landing page for the podcast and

[bianca_morra]: 59:55

yeah

[alison_newman]: 59:55

from there there's so much information on the front screen i feel like i should some of it but anyway i like putting things on and you can find you know the links to brows all the episodes or you can search by the person you're looking for whatever yeah i've also got some anyone's episode like with what you do be uncut the show notes or whatever we chat about in there so

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:21

oh

[alison_newman]: 1:00:21

if you hear something and you go oh what's that about probably chances are i've put a link to it

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:27

yeah

[alison_newman]: 1:00:27

in the show it's because i was interested

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:28

yeah

[alison_newman]: 1:00:29

in it too so so

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:32

yeah

[alison_newman]: 1:00:32

yeah and and you can find the links to the instagram for my singing and for my

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:38

ah

[alison_newman]: 1:00:38

podcast so yeah just have a bit of a fluff around it i love my my web pate like i do i do it on weeks and i just i love fiddling around and putting all the links and all the photos it's probably spend way too much time on it for what it gets looked at but if you've got time

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:55

i love

[alison_newman]: 1:00:56

have

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:56

it

[alison_newman]: 1:00:56

a look

[bianca_morra]: 1:00:56

i love it i love it and you will have to come back whenever you finish your album or you have to come back you have to

[alison_newman]: 1:01:07

i'd love to thank

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:08

i cannot

[alison_newman]: 1:01:08

you i'd

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:09

wait

[alison_newman]: 1:01:09

love to yes it would be a momentous occasion

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:11

whenever it is like he not wait to hear

[alison_newman]: 1:01:14

oh

[bianca_morra]: 1:01:14

all about it thank you so much allison

[alison_newman]: 1:01:18

awesome thank you it's a pleasure